


Seized

by rainbowchristy



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Aftermath, Aftermath of Torture, Aftermath of Violence, Age Regression/De-Aging, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Crying, Daddy Phil, Dark, Degradation, Depression, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Hospitalization, Kidnapped Dan, Little Dan, Little Space, M/M, Major Character Injury, Major Violence, No Major Character Death, Non-Consensual Blow Jobs, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Non-consensual sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape not between Dan and Phil, Swearing, Torture, Trauma, Violence, concerned phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:15:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 37
Words: 61,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24709714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowchristy/pseuds/rainbowchristy
Summary: It started out as a fun day at the park but it ended in terror. Phil takes his little Dan to the park and while Phil is not looking, Dan suddenly gets kidnapped. What will happen to Dan? Will Phil ever see his boyfriend again? Did Phil have something to do with it?
Relationships: Dan Howell & Phil Lester, Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Co-Author: Glitterhowell**
> 
> This story is incredibly dark and contains potentially triggering subjects. For example, rape (in and out of little space), extreme violence, depression, PTSD, degradation, torture, recovery and anxiety. Please check the tags for more information!
> 
> Also, we would like to give a shout out to our beta, **Alyssa (phan-of-the_pen)**.

"Danny, come on, Love; we need to leave!" Phil yelled up their stairs to his boyfriend. Dan had been in little space all day and Phil had decided to take a trip to the park. The last couple of months had been stressful: they had returned from their world tour and finally decided to move into their forever home. And so, Phil had decided that a nice walk in the park would do them both some good.

"Daniel James Howell, get down here right now."

Sighing, Phil turned around and headed to the kitchen. Dan was definitely an introvert - even in little space - and he had been whining all morning since Phil had told him they were going out for a while.

Phil placed Dan's pacifier into his bag along with his blanket, a change of clothes, and snacks. This stuff was always essential anytime they went out when Dan was little.

Phil remembered the first time they had been out without Dan's little bag. It had been late 2010, and not long after they had started dating and Phil had become his daddy. They had gone out to dinner and a movie, and during the movie, Dan had wet all over himself.

In little space, Dan had a hard time controlling his bladder and being able to tell when he had to go, hence why Dan wore diapers when little and why they always made sure they had an extra set of clothes when out.

Phil padded over to the stairs, getting ready to yell up at Dan when he hard Dan stomping his way down the stairs.

"Daniel, what has daddy said about stomping?" Phil tried to keep his angry demeanour, but it was hard; he didn't like being mad at his baby.

Dan glared at him. "But I don't want to go out daddy; I want to stay here and play with my stuffies!"

"Daniel, you are going to do what I say, and I say we are going to the park. Is that clear?" Phil said, raising his voice. He watched the glare on Dan's face turn into one of hurt and sadness, tears starting to welling up in his eyes.

Phil was still too angry to care. "Come on!" Phil said as he grabbed his little's arm and dragged him out of the house. Dan whined in protest, but Phil just kept on dragging him. He was Dan's daddy he knew what was best for him, right?

The walk to the park only took about ten minutes, and by that time Dan had forgotten about his tantrum and was rambling on about all the butterflies he saw.

"Look at that one daddy!" he shouted excitedly, "It has pink and blue wings!"

Chuckling Phil took ahold of Dan's hand. "They're very pretty love. Are they your favourite?"

Phil led them over to a tree, carefully laying down the blanket and sitting. Motioning to his lap, Dan sat down between his legs.

Once again Phil questioned him, "Which butterfly is your favourite, love?"

Snuggling his head into Phil's chest, he answered, "Um I think the purple and yellow ones," he said.

Phil hummed, "They are pretty, aren't they, Love."

They sat there for a few minutes in silence, just basking in each other's presence. But when Dan was little his attention span tended to be small as well. Clapping his hands he pointed towards the sandbox. "Daddy, can I go play? Please?" he begged.

Not being able to say no to his little, he nodded his head, but before Dan could leave he grabbed his wrist "You stay in the sandbox, ok? Daddy's got to go use the restroom."

"I promise daddy," Dan whined as he pulled away and ran towards the sandbox. Phil chuckled as he watched him for a minute before he headed towards the bathroom.

Dan giggled as scooped some sand up and attempted to make a sandcastle; he wanted to make one to show his daddy. He was in the process of trying to shape it when a voice came out of nowhere.

"Hey there, little boy." Dan looked up at the man. He had dirty blond hair and was really tall, about as tall as his daddy. Dan bit his lip; his daddy had told him not to talk to strangers, but this man also wasn't doing anything, right? He just wanted to look at his sandcastle.

"Building a sandcastle," he said proudly pointing at his lopsided creation. "Where's your daddy?" The man questioned him again.

Dan didn't like this man talking about his daddy so when Dan didn't answer him he said, "I saw your daddy go to the bathroom. I'm a friend of your daddy's, and he said you need to come with me to my van."

"Why?" a confused Dan asked him.

"Because I have a puppy. He told me he was going to surprise you with it, but changed his mind and wanted you to come see it first."

Dan jumped up. His daddy had said that now they lived in a house that they might get a puppy. This man said he was a friend of his daddy's, so he was ok to go with, right?

"Okay!" Dan smiled and started following the man to his van. When they reached the van the stranger opened the door. Smiling Dan looked inside to see the puppy, but when he looked inside there was no puppy. Dan started to get scared.

"Where's the puppy?" Dan asked the man in a small voice, taking a step back.

"Shut up and get in the van, slut!" The man barked at him as he pushed him inside. Being still in little space as well as being scared, the man was able to easily push him in, but not before Dan let out a wail.

"Daddy!"

Dan felt a hard slap across his face before his kidnapper closed the van door.

~~~~

Phil washed his hands and stepped out of the restroom. The sun had gotten quite a bit brighter while he was in the bathroom, so he shielded his eyes from the sun with his hand and looked around for his little. His eyes scanned the sandbox, right where Dan had promised to stay. When Phil didn't see him he started to panic. _Where has he gone?_ Phil thought frantically. It was then that he heard Dan's shriek. Phil spun his head around just in time to see his baby being shoved into a white van.

"No!" he screamed, but it was too late. Dan was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Dan didn't know how long they had been driving, but he had been slipping in and out of little space for a while now. Once he had realized he was in danger his instincts had kicked in, but it seemed his mind couldn't decide if it wanted to be big or little.

Currently, his mind was big, so he took the opportunity to look around the van. It was empty minus his original kidnapper and someone else driving. Dan hadn't gotten a good look at the new man yet, but his kidnappers had been going back and forth about who was going to get him first. Dan shivered and he prayed to a god he wasn't sure he believed in that they weren't actually going to go through with it.

Dan's hands had been tied behind his back and he was starting to feel the discomfort, so he wiggled his wrists to try and relieve some of the pressure. Suddenly the van came to stop.

"Get up!" the man barked at him. The driver went around to the back of the van and opened it up, Dan finally getting a good look at his other captor. He was shorter than the first one, but still almost as tall as Dan. He had black hair and blue eyes that slightly resembled Phil's. Dan shivered as he scuttled his way across the van's floor to give himself more distance between him and his kidnapper. The other man still in the back took Dan hard by the arm and shoved him out.

Looking around, Dan didn't know where they were. It looked like they were in the middle of the woods somewhere; the only thing in sight was some trees and a small house off to the right.

"Listen, I have money, all you have to do is let me go," he said, trying to reason with them.

Another hard slap came across his face, "Shut up, slut, we don't want your money do we, Roger?" The blond-haired man chuckled, looking at the black-haired man who he just learned was named Roger.

Roger gave him a menacing grin as he shook his head. "That's right, it's not your money we are interested in. It's that pretty little ass and mouth of yours."

Tears started falling from his eyes. He tried to hold them in the best he could, but he felt himself regressing again. The other man took a hold of Dan's arm leading him to the house.

"Don't you try anything, you got that?" The man growled at him, but Dan just shook his head, unable to speak.

He was lead to the backdoor of the house, where he was shoved inside and down a flight of stairs. He stumbled on the last few steps and landed flat on his face, crying out in pain.

A pair of heavy footsteps landed beside him. "Get up!" They roughly yanked him up and led him to the dark back of the basement. There was no use struggling; his hands were still tied behind his back and he had no idea where he was.

Dan was pushed into a small room that looked to be a dark, windowless, wet cellar with a grimy mattress on the floor, and that was about it. Dan was scared out of his mind; this had been quite obviously planned.

Who knew how long Dan was going to be kept here?

On the brink of regression, Dan mustered all his strength and yanked away from the man.

"Please just let me go. I promise I won't tell anyone," Dan pleaded with him, desperate to escape.

Roger just gave him a chilling smile as he pushed Dan back onto the mattress.

"Rest up, princess. Tomorrow's going to be a big day." Both of the men turned around and shut the heavy wooden door behind them. Dan heard the sound of several locks clicking into place before he was all alone.

Having fully regressed, he burst into tears. He wanted his daddy, where was he? His daddy promised to always protect him. He let out another heart-wrenching sob as he laid down and tried to go to sleep. Maybe this was all a bad dream and he would wake up in his daddy's arms.

~~~~

Phil had been sitting at the police station for over two hours now, and they still were asking him the same questions. Who does he think took Dan? What did they look like? What did he mean when he said Dan had a tendency to regress? He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, having to explain everything to Officer Temple again.

"I don't know who took him."

"I was in the bathroom when it happened. I didn’t see the kidnapper."

"He regresses to a child-like state of mind."

"Well, there has been a series of kidnappings around the city that fit this description." Officer Temple moved around some paperwork on his desk. "Sadly, we have no leads on any of those cases," he informed Phil.

His blood started to boil. How could they have no leads? His baby boy was missing and he needed to find him.

"What do you mean you have no leads?! Surely you have to have something," Phil snapped, now angry.

"I'm sorry Mr Lester, but we don't. However, we will look into your friend's disappearance and let you know if we find anything."

Phil was fuming. He pushed his chair back and stomped out of the police station. They weren't doing anything to find Dan. Phil had taken a cab to the police station so he waved down another one, stepping in right away once a cab pulled up. In the back of the cab on the way home, Phil took Dan's blanket out of his backpack. He shoved his face into it, willing away his tears. He just wanted his boyfriend back. The cab driver gave him a funny look in the mirror as he pulled up outside their house. Phil handed him some money, mumbling something about keeping the change, and walked into his and Dan's home. Dan's blanket still in hand, he walked into their bedroom. He flopped down on their bed and snuggled with the blanket.

Phil finally lets himself go, his tears soaking the bed. His heart felt like it had been ripped from his chest; the pain was unbearable. He didn't know how long he was there, but eventually, he drifted off into a dreamless slumber, still clutching the blanket.


	3. Chapter 3

Dan snuggled closer to Phil and laid his head on his lap, being content with each other. Neither one of them were really watching the anime on the screen. Phil was absentmindedly playing with one of the curls in his hair. Dan took a hold of the hand Phil was running through his hair and laced it together with his.

"Mm, what are you doing, Bear?" Phil said, looking down at him.

"Nothing, I just want to hold your hand," he answered, shrugging his shoulders as his eyelids began to droop. Phil chuckled softly and used his other hand to caress Dan's face.

"You know I love you so much, Bear." Dan managed to open his eyes. Phil was looking at him with so much love it made his heart burst.

Sighing contently, Dan buried his face further into Phil's lap, mumbling, "I love you too, Philly."

~~~~

Why did he feel so uncomfortable? This didn't feel like his and Phil's bed. He absentmindedly reached out, hoping to find Phil laying next to him, but all he grasped was air. Groaning, he opened his eyes and everything from the previous day rushed back: the park, being kidnapped, being shoved in this small, poorly lit room. He wanted to cry, but he pulled himself together. He had to think of how to get out of this. Luckily, he had woken up big, he couldn't even imagine how more scared he would be if he was little.

Finally, the pain in his face seemed to register, and his hand flew up to touch it, but he hissed at the contact, and dropped his hand. Must be from when his kidnappers had slapped him around yesterday.

He noticed his hands had been untied. He wasn't sure when that had happened, but he was glad they were. He tried to stand up, wobbling a bit. When he managed to stop swaying, he took a look around the room. Yesterday, when he was first shoved in here, all there had been was a mattress; now there was a bucket thrown in the corner as well. _Great_ , he thought to himself.

He started making his way to the bucket when he winced in discomfort. He hadn't noticed before, but the diaper he was still wearing from yesterday was sopping wet. Tears sprung to his eyes. He couldn't believe this was happening, what did these people want from him? He pulled off the diaper, swaddled it up, and dropped it in the bucket before doing his business again. After zipping his pants closed, he slowly made his way back over to the mattress, but before he could reach it he heard the locks on the outside of the door being opened. The door swung open, revealing his blond kidnapper.

"Sleep well, princess?" he sneered at him and laughed when Dan didn't say anything. The man started moving towards him and Dan tried to shrink himself as small as he could in the corner. Of course, it didn't work and Dan yelped when the man grabbed him and yanked him up to his feet.

"Now, Seth, don't you think we should be a little more gentle with him?" Roger said, appearing in the doorway. "We don't want to hurt him too bad before we've had our fun." He flashed Dan a wicked smile.

"Nah, it's fine. He can take it, can't you princess?" the man grinned at him, "Now the real fun starts."

Seth pushed Dan against the cold cellar wall and began forcing himself on Dan, his breath the taste of booze and cigarette smoke. Seth's hands and lips where everywhere, making Dan feel violated and sick to his stomach. Only Phil was supposed to touch him like this. Mustering up all his strength, he shoved the man off of him. Seth snarled at the rejection and the next thing Dan knew he was being shoved to the ground, Seth hitting and kicking him.

He curled himself into a ball on the floor whimpering every time Seth landed a hit. He lost count of how many times he had been hit by the time it finally stopped.

"You won't do that again will you, slut?" Seth barked at him.

Pathetically Dan shook his head. Dan didn't even fight as both the men started stripping him of his clothes. Once they pulled off his pants and realized he didn't have boxers on, they both sniggered to themselves.

"You're already ready for us aren't you, princess." Roger purred in his ear. Dan just shivered and stayed silent.

"Seth, you got his phone?" Roger asked.

"Yeah, right here, hold on."

Dan's eyes flew open. His phone! How could he have forgotten it? They must have taken it from him sometime. He wonders if it was in the van as he was slipping in and out of little space. Hell, being little he might have even handed it over willingly. He was so angry with himself. Why did his mind have to regress like that? Why did he have to be so willing and compliant when he was little?

He wondered what they were going to do, but he didn't have to wait long to find out as Seth snapped a picture off him.

"Let's see how your Daddy likes his little boy now, all beaten and bruised ready for another man."

No, they couldn't send that to Phil, it would break his heart. "No please don't!" he pleaded.

"Too late sweetheart." both men said, chuckling

"Now, onto the real fun."

Dan's blood went cold.

~~~~

Phil's head hurt so much he groaned as he rolled over and opened his eyes.

"Shit!" He muttered, the memories of yesterday flooding back to him. Frantically he jumped out of bed and grabbed his phone, hoping, even though he knew it would be nearly impossible, that Dan had tried to contact him. There was no such luck; there were some missed texts from his and Dan's families, but that was it. He had called both his mum and Dan's from the police station yesterday, and they were coming up to help him look for Dan, but neither one of their parents could get a train up until sometime today. Frustrated, he threw the phone down on the bed. Why haven't the police contacted him yet? Surely they had to have found something. Rage was seeping through him when he heard a ping come from his phone. Frantically, he grabbed his phone of the bed and see it

_Text message from: Danny._

Phil's heart leapt in his chest as he opened the text. His heart quickly shattered when he realized the text wasn't from Dan, but his kidnappers.

_Danny: How do you like your baby boy now? All broken and beaten. His suck a good little slut. He's going to take me so well._

Tears sprung to his eyes as he opened the picture attachment. There was Dan, laying on a dirty mattress, completely naked with his body covered in bruises. He looked so scared and, they were right, broken. It was enough to break Phil's heat into two.

_Phil: Don't you dare touch him!_

_Danny: Too late, boy does he have a good mouth on him_

He screamed out in anger and frustration. How could anyone do this to another human being? How could anyone do this to his Dan? Dan was probably so scared right now, and Phil knew he was probably bouncing back and forth between being little, which would make things even worse.

_Danny: contact the police and you will never see him again._

Phil didn't know what to do. He didn't want to go to the police and risk Dan's life, but he had no idea where to start looking for him himself. He had to make a decision: either show the police the messages or don't.

He just hoped he made the right one.


	4. Chapter 4

Dan moaned and winced in pain as he attempted to roll over, but the pain was unbearable. Stifling another groan, Dan pulled himself into a sitting position. He closed his eyes, trying to forget the horror that had occurred. But even with his eyes closed he could still see it and feel it happening to him.

He let out a heart-wrenching sob and wrapped his arms around himself. He may have been in little space part of the time but that doesn't mean that Dan didn't remember what happened. He tried pushing the memories from his mind but it was useless; the scene played over and over in his head.

The men had just taken Dan's picture and sent it to Phil and laughed at what Phil was typing back. Dan had demanded they tell him, but all he got was another slap in the face.

Seth put Dan's phone in his pocket and made his way over to the boy.

"Roger, hold him down will ya?" he yelled at the other man as he reached out and grabbed Dan by the shoulders. Dan fought him, but he was much smaller than him and he was easily pushed back on to the mattress. Roger attempted to hold Dan still while Seth's hands roamed all over Dan's body. But Dan was putting up a fight, kicking and screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Shut the fag up will you!" Seth screamed.

"I'll give you something to put in your mouth if you want princess!" He now sneered at Dan.

Dan quickly closed his mouth, but still tried to struggle out of the man's grasp.

"Not so fast princess, open that pretty mouth of yours back up."

Seth was in the process of removing his clothes and Dan was terrified. He clenched his jaw tighter together, but that plan of action quickly became less and less desirable as Roger clamped Dan's nose shut, blocking off his airway.

Dan couldn't breathe, but he knew what would happen if he gave up and still tried his hardest to keep his mouth closed. Soon his vision turned hazy and his consciousness began slipping from lack of oxygen. He opened his mouth to suck in some air, and he had only enough time to fill his lungs with a small amount of precious air before Seth's cock was rammed deep down his throat.

Dan gagged and tried to pull off but his head was kept firmly in place. There were grunts and groans coming from above him, making Dan feel sick. Tears were freely falling down his face now. The assault on his throat burned and hurt so much that his vision started to blur again. But what finally pushed him over the edge was Roger starting to place forceful, wet, sloppy kisses down his neck and shoulders. Dan's stomach lurched. This wasn't supposed to be happening. Only his daddy was allowed to kiss him like that.

Oh no, he couldn't slip, not now. He couldn’t imagine the kind of damage this would do to his little psyche. But it was inevitable. He slipped into little space, not wanting to deal with the pain and stress anymore.

The switch happened so quickly that neither of the men noticed the change in his posture and eyes. Little Dan, panicking and having no idea what was going on, bit down hard on the cock that was being rammed down his throat. The man above him hissed in pain and let off a string of curse words.

"Did that little bitch just bite you?" Roger asked, incredulous. Seth didn't pay any attention to him, turning to Dan instead.

Slap! "What the fuck-" Slap! "-do you think-" Slap! "-you're doing," Slap! "slut!?"

The slaps stung his already bruised face, and since little Dan wasn't as strong as big Dan was he let the tears fall freely down his face and another gut-wrenching sob bubble up from his aching throat.

"Where's my daddy? I want my daddy!" he screamed. He received a hard hit to the side in response.

"Shut the fuck up, bitch!" Seth screamed in his face before turning to Roger. "Hold that little bitch down, I'm going to show him who his daddy is!"

Once again Dan was pinned to the ground, only little Dan didn't put up a fight like big Dan had. He tried wrapping his body around himself as he let out another sob, but he wasn't able to move at all. Before he even had a chance to let out another sob, Seth was on him and inserted himself into Dan's ass, unlubed and unstretched.

"Daddy!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, but his assailant just laughed and kept pounding into his hole. Dan continued to scream for his daddy. Where was he? His daddy was supposed to keep him safe, he had always promised Dan he would always be there for him. Dan's heart broke. His daddy was letting this happen to him. His daddy must not love him anymore, and Dan just stopped fighting.

Seth grunted as he climaxed and he filled Dan up with his sperm. Dan didn't move as he pulled out and stood up, "You want a turn now Roger?"

"No, the little bitch looks all fucked out right now. I think I'll wait until after he rests."

"Suit yourself," Seth said shrugging his shoulders.

Dan just laid there motionless as the men exited the room, making sure to lock the door behind them.

At this point, Dan really wasn't little or big; his mind was floating. He squeezed his eyes shut to try and get himself grounded but the act was useless as his mind continued to float until he fell into a dreamless sleep.

~~~~

Phil paced around the living room again for what seemed like the thousandth time. He had quickly come to the decision that Dan's life was not worth risking, so he had not gone back to the police after he received the text messages.

"Phil," Louise spoke softly, "everything will be fine, we will find him, Love." She placed her hand gently on his shoulder. He flinched away, but immediately he saw the hurt on her face. He rubbed the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry, Louise. I'm just so worried about him," Phil sighed.

"We all are, Love, but Pj and Sophie are putting posters up everywhere. Someone is bound to have seen something. Dan is strong, he'll be alright." Phil looked at her, not entirely convinced.

"I'm his boyfriend, Lou, I'm supposed to take care of him, I'm supposed to make sure he is alright."

Louise pulled Phil into a hug. "You are a good boyfriend, Phil. He's a grown man and you left him for five minutes."

"But he was in little space. You know how vulnerable he is when in that state." She nodded her head sadly. Over the years she had been around little Dan quite a few times, and she knew how gullible he could be when he was little.

She remembered one time PJ had convinced him that at all his stuff animals came alive at night and played with each other. She sighed as she let go of Phil and watched as Phil ran his fingers through his hair. She opened her mouth to say something when the doorbell rang and Phil left to go answer it.

Phil sighed as he made his way down the stairs. Who could it be? All their friends were currently out looking for Dan. He didn't look through the peephole before he answered it. Swinging it wide open, he was met with flashing lights and screaming.

The press.


	5. Chapter 5

Dan wasn't sure how long it had been since he was taken. What he did know was he was cold, scared, and in immense pain. He pulled the thumb that he had been absentmindedly sucking on out of his mouth and he tucked his head into his hands and let out a low groan. He had to get out of here himself, because apparently, Phil wasn't coming to save him.

He let out a sob thinking about his boyfriend.  _ Phil's probably happy to be rid of me _ , Dan thought. He knew he was a pain in the ass most of the time. Making Phil take care of him like a baby and on top of that, he had to deal with Dan's depression and mood swings. Phil edited and uploaded most of their videos and he took care of the bills and other adult stuff that made Dan uncomfortable. He was just a burden to him; Phil had probably forgotten all about him by now, maybe even getting himself a better boyfriend than him.

Dan shook violently and let the tears continue to fall as he thought of Phil with someone else, someone who didn't require him to take care of him, someone who was better than Dan. Dan was still lost in his thoughts when he heard the locks on the outside of the door unlock and the door swung open.

"Hi, princess, ready for round two? " Roger said smirking at him.

"No, please, not again," he managed to choke out as he attempted to shrink himself further into the corner.

Roger chuckled as he stepped into the room and made his way over to Dan, Seth right behind him.

"Please! No! Stop! Don't!" Dan screamed over and over, but his pleas did little as each man just ignored him and grabbed one of his arms and hoisted him onto his feet. Dan had no energy in him left to fight, so he allowed himself to be led out of the room and across the basement. When he had been lead into the basement the first time he had not noticed quite how big it was, but now he was able to.

There was a door on the other side of the basement, and his kidnappers dragged him through and into another room. He tried to take in his surroundings. The first thing he noticed was a metal table sat menacingly in the middle of the room. Next was a strange-looking machine that was sat next to the table. He tried to pull back and get out of the room, but he was roughly pulled up onto the metal table.

"Stop it, let me go!"

They held him down and Dan felt straps go over his ankles and wrists. Once they had him bound to the table they both stepped back to admire their work.

"Look at the slut, crying like a fucking baby," Seth sneered.

"He's crying now, but just wait until we give him something to really cry over," Roger agreed, grinning.

"Where's your daddy now, huh slut? Didn't you know he practically begged us to take you? Said he was tired of putting up with you, told us all about how stupid and worthless you are."

Dan was trying really hard not to believe them, but between the abuse he’d already been through and being half in little space, he was finding it hard not to. Tears fell silently from his face and he tried to hide in his shoulder, not wanting to give his captors the satisfaction of seeing him cry anymore.

They chuckled and joked back and forth between each other as they messed with the machine next to the bed. There were wires connecting the machine to the table he was strapped to.

What he hadn't noticed when he was forced into the room was a bucket sitting on the floor, and Dan didn't even have a moment to wonder what was in it before one of the men dumped the contents of the bucket on him. He spit and sputtered, feeling like he was drowning. He coughed and shook his head; the bucket had been filled with water.

Dan shivered. The water was cold and he was still not wearing any clothes, not to mention the metal table he was laying on. He turned his head and tried to glare at the men, but he was slapped in the face before he had even gotten the chance. His head hit the metal table and his vision started to go blurry at the edges and his ears rang.

"Seth, you got the wires? Are you ready?"

"Fuck yeah I'm ready to do this!"

His vision was just starting to clear when he felt electricity shoot through his body. His muscles locked up and he was unable to move. The pain was nothing like he had ever experienced before and was so unbearable that it was the only thing he could think about. It seemed like the pain lasted forever, but a tiny part of his brain still trying to make sense of everything that was happening to him reasoned that in reality, it was probably only a few seconds. But when it did stop he was able to finally able to scream.

"Look at the slut, he pissed all over himself!" Seth laughed.

"Listen to him scream, Seth. Such a fucking baby."

Dan hadn't even stopped screaming when his eyes bulged and it felt like his body was on fire once more. He didn't even know how many times this cycle went on, but by the time it was over, he didn't have any more water left in his body to produce tears. He let the men quite literally drag him back to his cell like a ragdoll. They threw him down onto the dirty mattress on the floor and left without saying anything to him.

He had dried urine on his thighs and everything hurt. The pain was unbearable, he was surprised he remained conscious through the whole torture. Now though, he didn't have any energy left; he simply laid there and waited for the darkness to take him.

~~~~

"Mr. Lester, is it true your flatmate has been kidnapped?"

"Phil, what do you have to say to the people who kidnapped your friend?"

"Is it true you made up the story about Mr Howell's kidnapping? Is it because you are in the middle of a lovers spat?"

Those were the type of questions that Phil had become accustomed to over the last week. No one knew how the press had found out about Dan's kidnapping, but they sure weren't doing anything to keep them from harassing Phil. It had gotten so bad that Phil hadn't tried to leave the flat since day two. He had tried to leave to help his friends and both his and Dan's families look for him, but the second he had opened the door the lights flashed and the press were pushing each other, trying to get to him.

It was so bad that he had to push one of them out of the front door of the building just to shut the door. It was even so bad that Pj, Louise, and their families had taken to coming up through the back alleyway of the building. As it seems, the press hadn't found out about that way into the building yet.

Phil was terrified to leave, afraid of the press and that Dan might just show up at home. He knew this was not a rational thought but no matter how hard he tried, he just kept hoping. Hope was the only thing helping him keep his remaining sanity.

"Youtube star Dan Howell is still missing after a week. There are still no leads and his boyfriend Phil Lester, also a youtube star, has not been seen in days. Is it possible he has something to do with his boyfriend's disappearance?"

That was the type of thing the news had started suggesting over the last day or two. People had been blaming him for Dan going missing and that is all the news had been talking about. He hadn't been on twitter or social media in days and while Pj and Louise said his and Dan's fans were being supportive, he just hadn't had the courage to look at what people were saying yet.

Sighing, he turned off the TV and he walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water and something to eat. He hadn't eaten or slept much since that dreaded day, but he knew he had to keep up his energy if he had any hope of finding Dan.

Since the news had started suggesting he was to blame, Phil forced himself to tell the police about the texts he had received. He had only received one more over the course of the week, the picture showed Dan strapped to a table, he had bruises, cuts and what looked like burns all over his body. But what haunted Phil the most was the look in his boyfriend's eyes. They were empty, like Dan wasn't inside anymore. He had been crying almost non-stop since first receiving the picture. Louise and everyone had found it nearly impossible to comfort him, so much so that they had stopped trying. Instead, they focused all their attention on finding Dan.

Anger boiled inside of him, making the muscles in his body tense and his jaw clench. Here he was, stuck in the flat and unable to help search for his boyfriend. The police had been telling him every day that he had to be patient and that they would call him if they learned anything new, but Phil had little faith. The glass cracked and broke in Phil's hand and he cried out at the sudden pain.

"Shit! Shit!" he cursed as he grabbed a towel to wrap his hand. He was on the way to the bathroom to patch himself up when his phone rang. All thoughts of his hand flew from his mind as he flung himself to the couch and quickly answered the phone, not even bothering to look at the caller ID.

"Yes?" He asked breathlessly.

"Mr Lester? This is Officer Temple. We need you to come down to the police station right away. We think we know who might have taken Dan."

Pushing away all the questions he had, Phil thanked him and hung up, shoving his phone into his pocket. His hand would have to wait until later. He grabbed his keys and coat as he exited the flat through the back alley, determination and desperation in his steps.


	6. Chapter 6

The train slowed to a stop as it rolled into Piccadilly station. Dan couldn't believe that the day was finally here. After months of talking over Skype, he was finally going to be meeting the AmazingPhil. Dan's hand shook as he picked up his backpack and threw it over his shoulder. He had almost not come today because he was scared Phil was just playing a huge joke on him and really wasn't going to meet him. Of course, he had not voiced these fears to Phil when they had talked on the phone until 3 AM the night before.

His whole body shook with fear and excitement as he exited the train and stepped onto the platform. His scanned his eyes through the crowd, hoping to spot the raven-haired boy. His breath caught in his throat as his chocolate brown eyes found the familiar pair of blue ones that he had grown to love over the last few months. Phil hadn't spotted him yet, but that didn't stop Dan, who took off towards him, pushing through the crowd of people. The moment Phil spotted him his smile grew huge.

Dan couldn't believe he was finally here, couldn't believe that Phil was actually here. Phil looked even more beautiful in person than he did over his shitty webcam. Dan's heart raced in his chest as he got closer and closer.

Dan let out a breath as Phil pulled him in for a bone-crushing hug.

"I can't believe you're finally here!"

"Sorry I was a bit late, the train was running behind schedule," Dan breathed into Phil's shoulder.

"It's ok, you're here now and that is all that matters."

Phil pulled away to look at him and his smile grew wider as his eyes found Dan's.

"So, you ready to go?" Phil rocked back and forth and rubbed his neck awkwardly.

"Y-yeah," he stuttered. He smiled at Phil and bumped their shoulders as the two started to walk.

"I'm really glad I'm here," he said smiling at Phil.

"Me too," Phil said, a huge grin breaking out on his face.

~~~~

Dan was once again pinned to the dirty floor, one of the men was on top of him and the other in the corner, watching. He doesn't know when he had stopped fighting, but he knows he must have been out of it for a few days. He had woke up on that blasted metal table again, and he knew he must have been in little space for at least a few days. There were an array of new bruises scattered on his body that hadn't been there before, and he noticed he had lost a little weight, so he must have been out of it for at least three or four days. He figures little Dan had stopped fighting as well because the men didn't seem to notice the change in him. They had dragged him straight from the room with the metal table back to his cell, not even giving him time to recover before they were on top of him, assaulting him again.

He heard a grunt from above him, signifying that the man was finished. He pulled out, gave Dan's ass a smack and both of them were gone. He has no idea how many times he had been assaulted over the last few days but it must be a lot because of the dried blood all over his legs. He was in pain all over, but it was especially bad in his rear. There was also an acute pain in his chest, so he must have developed a bad cold since he had been kidnapped. Dane let out a low, hard cough. He curled himself into a ball and hoped to catch a few hours of sleep before the men came back.

He jolted awake as the sound of the door being unlock rang through the room. He didn't know how long he was asleep, but judging from the fact that he was still exhausted, it couldn't have been very long. He sat up and the door opened to reveal the men, but this time they were lugging in what he suspected was another bucket of water judging from the sloshing sound coming from it as it was dropped to the floor.

"We're going to try something a little different, princess."

The look In Seth's eyes was so dark and evil Dan's body shivered in fear. He had given up long ago trying, so he didn't even resist as Roger dragged him over to the bucket of water.

"Look, Seth, the little slut is so broken. If his daddy didn't want him before then he surely won't want him now."

"So pathetic. Such a worthless, little slut, isn't he?"

Roger hummed in agreement.

Dan had no doubt that what they were saying was true; if Phil didn't want him before he definitely wouldn't want him now. He was spoiled goods, worthless and unlovable.

He squeezed his eyes shut just in time to feel a hand grip the back of his head and push him down into the bucket. If his lungs hadn't been on fire before, they were now.

He couldn't breathe, his survival instincts kicking in and he started to struggle, trying to pull his head to the surface to get some air, but with no avail, he was just pushed deeper into the bucket. He knew this was the end as his vision started to go black, but before he had fully slipped out of consciousness he was pulled to the surface. He had just enough time to gulp in a huge lungful of air before he was being pushed back under.

This happened several more times before he was thrown, spitting and sputtering back onto the mattress.

"Get some rest, princess, there will be more of that later," Seth said as he flashed an evil grin Dan's way. Both men exited the room, but before they slammed the door shut, Roger gave him a creepy wink.

Once the men were gone Dan all but collapsed onto the mattress with the nightmares pulling him under.

~~~~

"Mr Lester,"

"Call me Phil."

"Alright. Phil, we believe this is the man who abducted Dan." Officer Temple pointed to a grainy looking picture.

"How do you know?"

"Someone who saw the abduction happen from the park came forward and identified this man."

"What do you know about him?" Phil asked still looking at the photo.

"His name is Seth Conray. He has a record of domestic abuse against his girlfriend and has several charges of sexual assault."

Phil couldn't believe how was this monster allowed to roam the street freely. When he voiced this to Officer Temple, the man just gave Phil a sympathetic look.

"The last woman who accused him of sexual assault pulled out of testifying at the last minute and the case was thrown out since there wasn’t much evidence."

Phil clenched his fist. He was by no means a violent person, but he was trying really hard not to hit something right now because getting thrown in a cell wouldn't help Dan right now.

"Mr Conray inherited a cabin last year from his grandfather who passed away, and we suspect that is where he may have taken Dan."

"Well let's go then!" Phil exclaimed as he reached for his coat.

"Hold on; we have officers that have been dispatched, they’re on their way now. We just have to wait."

"Are you fucking kidding me!?" he finally exploded. "My boyfriend has been missing for a week now and you tell me you know who took him and you want me to wait? This is ridiculous!" His chest was heaving now.

Officer Temple looked at him, clearly startled by his outburst. "Listen, I need to find him, I need to see him. I love him," Phil whispered as he closed his eyes.

The whole police station seemed to be quiet.

"Listen, the most I can do for you is drive you out there. It'll be against the books, but I'm willing to take the fall for it." He put his hand on Phil's shoulder. Phil opened his eyes slowly. The Officer was looking at him with pity, but he didn't care. All he cared about was saving Dan. So he nodded his head and followed Officer Temple out of the Police station.

_ I'm coming, Dan _ , he thought,  _ just hold on a little longer _ .


	7. Chapter 7

"Please stop! I want my daddy! Please!" Dan sobbed into the mattress. Once again, he was being forced face-first into the mattress, one man holding him down while the other was yet again raping him, his fingers leaving bruises on Dan's side.

"Can't you shut him up?" Seth grunted above him.

"I'll give him something to use that pretty mouth of his on." Roger unzipped his pants, freeing his erection as he forced Dan's head up and onto his cock. Dan nearly gagged as he shoved his cock all the way down his throat.

"Such...a...pretty...mouth. Such...a... slut. " He accented each word with another harsh thrust down the boy's throat.

Even though his mouth was full and tears tell down the boy's cheeks, he was floating again, slipping in and out of little space. Dan didn't know when he had slipped again, but he had come back to this.

Just when he thought he was slipping again, his vision went blurry and the darkness pulled him under.

~~~~

Phil shook his foot in anticipation. He was in the police car as Officer Temple drove them to the closest lead they had on Dan's whereabouts.

"How much further is it?" Phil asked, impatient. 

"We should almost be there."

It was only probably another five minutes, but it felt like hours to Phil before they came upon an old, run-down cabin in the woods. As they pulled up the driveway Phil saw an ambulance and several police cars. The car came to a stop and Phil jumped out, not even paying attention to the officer's protest. He was halfway to the door when he came to a sudden stop. The police led a man, who Phil recognized immediately as Seth from the mugshot, out of the house in handcuffs.

Phil's heart sped up. If they were arresting him, that must mean they had found Dan.

Before he even had the chance to make a run for the door, the man locked eyes with him. Phil never thought he could hate someone that much. When they locked eyes, Seth gave him a smirk, "Your boyfriend sure is a nice lay."

He snapped.

He ran full force, fully intending to punch him square in the face, but he was a meter in front of him when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist pulling him back.

"Stop, you need to focus on Dan," Officer Temple said in his ear. As much as Phil might want to deck Seth for everything he'd done, Phil knew that Officer Temple was right. Phil yanked himself out of his grip and gave Seth one more death glare before he made his way into the cabin. There were police officers scattered around the entire house bagging evidence and taking photos, but none of them even paid any attention to him.

The cabin looked fairly normal. There was a lounge with a sofa and tv, and as he made his way further into the house he saw the kitchen, which looked like a bomb went off. There were take away boxes littered all over the floor, and dust blanketed everything. Shaking his head, he continued through the house, making it to what he assumed was going to be a bedroom. He pushed the door open hoping to find Dan inside, but what he saw instead shocked him.

It was his and Dan's pictures all over the wall. Pictures from their Instagram and Twitter, as well as screenshots from their videos. His jaw dropped, he couldn't believe what he was seeing. He stepped further into the room and looked closely at one of the pictures on the wall that had caught his eye. He noticed right away that it was a picture neither of them had posted. It showed both Dan and him shopping at Tesco, just down the street from their house. Phil remembered the day perfectly—it had happened not even a week before Dan had been kidnapped. Picture Phil was carrying the shopping basket and laughing at something Dan had just said. This man had been stalking them, watching them for god knows how long and neither of them had noticed. He was in the process of ripping the picture off the wall when he felt a hand on his shoulder, Officer Temple.

"Phil, they have Dan. He's down in the basement."

He didn't say anything as he spun around, heading for the two doors at the end of the hallway, assuming that one of them had to be the basement. Luckily for him, the first one he tried had a pair of stairs leading down. He took a deep breath and ran down the stairs, nearly falling on the way down. He saw a room at the far end of the basement where it seemed the bulk of the police officers where. Unfortunately, these officers didn't ignore him like the ones upstairs, and he was stopped before he could try and enter the room.

"Who are you?"

"Please, I'm Dan's boyfriend. Is he in there?"

The officer averted his eyes from him. "Yeah, he is, but I'm not so sure you want to see him, mate."

Phil's heart dropped. What did that mean? Exactly how bad was Dan? 

The officer sighed and stepped aside to let him in. Phil was hesitant as he stepped inside, now afraid of what he would see. The room was small and filthy, but Dan was nowhere to be seen. Confused, he went to tap someone on the shoulder to ask when his heart dropped.

Behind what he now realized is a paramedic, was Dan. Only he was almost unrecognizable. He was naked, and he was incredibly skinny and dirty. His body was covered in bruises of varying sizes that looked extremely painful.

Tears started falling from his eyes.

"Dan?"

The boy's head snapped up in his direction, giving Phil a confused look. It took a moment before he whispered, reverently, "Daddy?"

If Phil thought his heart wasn't broken before, it definitely was now.

"Oh, baby, what did he do to you?" He knelt down in front of Dan and tried to comfort Dan by putting his hand on his leg, but Dan flinched away.

"Don't touch me!"

He had a complete meltdown, crying and sobbing; his small frame was trembling so bad Phil thought he might break. Phil was once again pulled back by who he assumed was Officer Temple as the paramedics tried to calm Dan down.

"Dan, it's ok, I'm here, Daddy's here, baby," Phil said, trying to help calm Dan down from across the room, but everything he said did nothing. Dan was still shaking and sobbing, his breaths now coming short and staccato.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the room; you're just upsetting him."

"I can't leave him! He needs me," Phil pleaded with her.

Before she even had a chance to respond he was being pulled out of the room by Officer Temple. As he was being dragged out of the room, he saw the paramedic insert a needle into Dan's arm. With his vision now half blocked he was standing on his tiptoes outside of the room, still trying to see what was going on. He saw Dan fall over onto the mattress, his breath now evening out and his eyes slipping shut.

"We need to get him to the hospital! Now!" one of the paramedics said as he started to lift Dan bridal style.

"Come on, you can ride with him in the ambulance," Officer Temple informed him. Phil took one last look at the love of his life before he turned around.


	8. Chapter 8

The ride to the hospital was quiet; the only sound was the steady beep of the heart monitor attached to Dan's chest. Phil couldn't tear his eyes away from Dan. On one hand, he couldn't believe that they had found him, and he was ecstatic about it, but it had absolutely broke his heart at how they had found him.

The paramedics had refused to tell him anything about Dan's condition, telling him that it wasn't their place and he should wait until they reached the hospital where he could talk to a doctor. Phil sighed as he took ahold of Dan's hand and softly caressed it. He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, waiting to arrive at the hospital.

Once they arrived, they rushed Dan out of the ambulance. Phil attempted to follow them but was stopped by a nurse as they rolled Dan behind a door titled _Emergency Surgery_. He huffed as the nurse led him to the waiting room area. How did they expect him to just sit here?

Desperately needing to know what was going on, he walked up to the nurse's desk. "Hi, do you have any news on Dan Howell?" he asked the same nurse who had led him to the waiting room.

"And who are you?"

"I'm is boyfriend and flatmate, Phil Lester."

She ruffled through her pages for a minute before she turned her attention back to him.

"I'm sorry, we have no information."

He felt like crying as he walked back to his seat. As he sat there, trying to hold in his tears. His phone in his pocket beeped, nearly scaring him to death. He pulled it out and saw Louise on the caller ID. He had forgotten in all this chaos to call and let everyone know Dan had been found. He quickly sent a text to both of their families as well as Louise, trusting that she would let everyone know what was going on.

He had no more than closed his eyes when a voice startled him.

"Sir, do you need some help?"

Phil gave the nurse a confused look. She motioned to his hand which he had forgotten still had blood on it from when he cut himself earlier.

"Oh ah, no. I'm just here waiting for news on my boyfriend."

"Honey, no offence but you're no help to anyone when you're hurt yourself. I promise we'll be back before anyone even notices you're gone."

Phil wanted to argue with her, but he knew she was right. It could be hours before anyone came out to talk to him. He stood up and nodded his head, and the nurse gave him a sweet smile before leading him away.

~~~~

"Phil, come on!" Dan whined at his boyfriend, pulling him closer.

"Dan, you're drunk."

"So?" he giggled back to Phil.

Sighing, he threw his hands up in defeat and let Dan drag him to a nearby bedroom. Phil just hoped none of their friends noticed they were missing.

"Pj's going to kill us if he finds out we fucked in his room," Phil said, trying to sound annoyed but failing miserably.

"Mm, he won't find out." Dan breathed, pulling Phil in for a sloppy kiss.

Phil returned the kiss, and they made out for a while before Dan changed tactics and started to desperately tug at Phil's shirt.

"Want it off," he breathed into Phil's neck.

"Hold on one minute and lay down. I have to use the bathroom."

"Phil!" Dan whined.

"Sit down and I will be right back," he ordered using his daddy voice.

Even drunk, Dan knew not to disobey Phil when he used his daddy voice. So he sat on the bed and nodded his head. "Yes, Daddy."

After a satisfied smirk, Phil turned around to head for the bathroom.

It wasn't even a minute later he returned to the room to find Dan fast asleep on Pj's bed. He chuckled as he got into bed next to him. Wrapping his arm around his waist and pulling him closer, he buried his head in Dan's neck. He snored slightly which made Phil smile fondly. Ignoring the urge telling him they should not be sleeping in their friend's bed, Phil closed his eyes and followed Dan to dreamland.

~~~~

Why did he hurt all over? What was going on? What was that beeping? Where was his daddy and his stuffies? All those thoughts ran through his head as he slowly opened his eyes, wincing in pain as he tried to lift his hands. Once the sleep left his eyes he looked around the room he was in. He was most definitely not in his room at home, so where was he? Before he even got the chance to properly think, a woman stuck her head in the door.

"Oh! You're finally awake," she said cheerfully. "I will be right back let me go get the doctor."

She came back a moment later, a man trailing behind her.

"Hello, Dan, my name is Doctor Shepherd, and I will be your doctor during your time here."

"Where's my daddy?" he questioned, tears springing to his eyes.

The doctor gave him a confused look. "Um, I'm not sure what you mean. Is there someone we can call for you?"

"I want my daddy! Where are you hiding him!?" he screamed. He was confused and in pain and just wanted to be comforted. The doctor took a step back, frowning, and left the room. He returned just moments later.

"Dan, there is someone here who wants to see you."

Through stifled sobs, Dan looked up and whispered, "Daddy?"

"Hey, baby," Phil whispered. He took a hesitant step towards Dan, not sure after the freak out he had earlier. All those fears were thrown to the wind as Dan lifted his hands, reaching out for Phil. There were tears still streaming down his face as Dan buried his head into Phil's shoulder.

"D-daddy I thought you didn't love me anymore!" he cried.

Phil's heart broke and a sob ripped through his chest as he pulled Dan in closer to him.

"Danny, your daddy will always love you, alright?" He pulled Dan away to look into his eyes. It took a minute, but Dan eventually nodded his head and started crying again.

They just sat there, crying together, traumatized by everything that had happened, but happy they were both safe and with each other again.


	9. Chapter 9

Currently, Phil sat in Dr Shepherd's office as he waited for him to begin discussing Dan's condition with him.

"Mr Lester-"

"Please, call me Phil," he cut in.

"Ok, Phil it is. I'm not going to lie to you; Daniel has gone through quite an ordeal. We are almost certain he will show signs of significant trauma."

Phil didn't say anything, just stared at him.

The doctor sighed and continued.

"As well as psychological trauma, Daniel's suffered from several fractured ribs which have punctured his left lung. Luckily, we were able to patch that up in surgery, but he will need another surgery on his right leg as it is badly fractured. For now, we need to wait until his pneumonia clears up a bit more for it to be a safe procedure.

"Despite all this, what I'm most concerned with, Phil, is that Dan seems to have permanently regressed to a child-like state. I've discussed this with the ED's chief psychiatrist and it seems the trauma he endured was too much for his brain to process properly. Regression is a well-known way of managing stressful situations, however, Daniel has regressed and never fully come out of it."

He quickly moved forward after he saw the fear flash in Phil's eyes. "Now, I'm not saying this is a permanent state; he could regress back at any time. But for now, we have no way of knowing how long he will be regressed or when he will feel comfortable enough coming back. That will be up to his subconscious."

Phil swallowed. 

"How long until he can come home?" 

"Well, we need to keep him here until his pneumonia clears, at which point he would have his leg surgery. After that, the mandatory hospital stay is only twenty-four hours. After that, we would like to transfer him to the hospital's psychiatric wing where they will be better equipped to manage the psychological impacts of this ordeal."

Phil's heart started to race. "He doesn't need to go to another hospital. What he needs is to come home with me," he said, starting to get angry from all the fear and confusion.

"Phil, we need to look at what is best for Dan here." 

Phil's blood boiled. Was the doctor really implying he didn't want the best for his boyfriend?

"What's best for Dan is to come home with me and be surrounded by his friends and family, where he can feel safe. Being shipped off to the psychiatric wing is not in his best interest," he said, not backing down.

Doctor Shepherd sighed."Well, we can't make him stay, but we'd highly advise it. If you both choose for him to go home, we will need to set up a rigorous therapy schedule right away. The sooner we get started, the quicker he can recover." 

Phil just nodded his head. 

"Based on your reaction, I surmise Daniel will not be staying after we clear him?" Phil nodded, looking determined. The doctor sighed. "I was afraid so. I will get started on making some phone calls to therapists."

He thanked the doctor and left.

~~~~

For the next few days, Dan and Phil had barely any time to themselves. Between their families, friends, and the police, almost every moment was taken up. But that didn't stop Dan from clinging to Phil every moment he was awake. It was so bad that when Phil had left the room to use the toilet while Dan slept, Dan had woken up screaming and crying for him, forcing the doctors to sedate him. 

It wasn't until the second day that Phil had learned that there had been two kidnappers. The police couldn't get much out of Dan, just sobs and vague details that they hurt him really bad, and they were angry that Dan wouldn't give them any more information. They believed he was faking it and just didn't want to talk to them, despite the doctors' and Phil's arguments otherwise. They also couldn't get anything out of Seth about his partner; he refused to say anything to the police, whatsoever, even with a plea bargain. 

Phil was frustrated because they still hadn't caught the other kidnapper, but he stopped himself from getting angry. He knew they really had no information to go on except the few little details Dan had given them.

It was four days after Dan had been rescued that his pneumonia finally cleared up enough that he could have surgery on his leg. They had to insert a small metal bar into the bone for it to heal properly, and his leg was now wrapped in a cast.

By the sixth day, both his and Dan's families had gone back to their respective homes as they couldn't stay away from their own lives any longer. After a tearful goodbye, Dan and Phil were finally left by themselves.

"Daddy, come cuddle me," Dan whined. Chuckling, Phil made his way over to the bed.

"Move over, Love." Dan moved to give Phil some room. The older man crawled into bed, being careful to not touch Dan's leg or wrap his arm around him too tight.

"Daddy, when can we go home? I miss my stuffies," he whined again.

Phil sighed, "Soon, Love, soon, I promise."

As much as he loved little Dan, he really wished his Dan was back. He missed his boyfriend. He just wished that everything would go back to normal.

~~~~

A week after Dan was rescued, he was cleared to go home. 

"Are you ready to go home, Love?" Phil asked as he started collecting the abundance of loose papers Dan had coloured in at the hospital over the week. 

"Yes, Daddy!" he called from his bed.

Phil thought that Dan would take this all pretty hard but other than his clinginess, he was perfectly fine. Whenever anyone asked about anything to do with the week he was gone, he claimed he didn't remember anything. This has started after the first initial interview with the detectives. Doctor Shepherd, with the hospital's chief psychiatrist, told Phil that they shouldn't push him into talking or remembering before he was ready. And so, despite how hard it was, Phil had to try and act like everything was normal. 

"Ready, Bear? I don't want to hurt you." Phil stood by the edge of the bed.

"I'm ready, Daddy." Dan beamed at him.

Even after a week, Dan's face still was bruised and battered looking. But it warmed Phil's heart to see a smile on it nevertheless. He leaned over and carefully scooped Dan up, moving quickly but carefully to transfer him to the wheelchair.

Just as he got Dan situated, the doctor walked into the room and handed Phil Dan's discharge papers. He explained to Phil that Dan was not in the state of mind to sign himself out of the hospital, and that, as Dan's next of kin, it was Phil's responsibility. He signed the papers and thanked the doctor again.

"I just hope you know what you're doing. Dan is going to be very traumatised when he remembers. Make sure he gets to his therapy appointments."

"Don't worry, I will," Phil said with a pressed smile.

Without another word, the doctor waved Dan goodbye and walked out.

Phil sighed as he looked at his phone. Pj should be here soon to help him get Dan into the cab.

"Ok, we're leaving now, Bear."

Phil pushed Dan's wheelchair down the hall and into the elevator.

Once they got outside, Phil smiled as he saw Pj sitting there with the cab waiting for them.

"Hi Dan, how are you doing, buddy?"

Dan pulled Phil's shirt sleeve and hid behind it.

"Sorry, Peej, he doesn't really talk to anyone but me these days," Phil sighed.

"That's alright; from what you have told me he's been through a lot."

Phil hadn't gone into details when he told their family and friends what had happened to Dan. He hadn't been able to bring himself to tell them that he had been raped and violated.

Pj bent down to look at Dan. "Get better, ok, buddy?"

Dan clung to Phil as he transferred him into the cab. Once he had him situated in the backseat, he helped Pj put the wheelchair in the trunk. They didn't have one of their own but they were lucky and the hospital lent them one of theirs.

"Thanks, Pj," Phil said.

"No problem, mate; I love you both so much," he said, pulling Phil into a hug. 

Phil could tell Dan was getting impatient so he said bye to Pj and hopped in the back seat with Dan. They were finally going home.


	10. Chapter 10

They were both quiet the whole ride home, Dan snuggling into Phil and Phil aimlessly staring out the window. When the cab pulled up in front of their apartment, the driver helped get Dan's wheelchair out and waited patiently for Phil to transfer him over. He thanked and paid the driver before rolling Dan up to the door.

The elevator ride up to their apartment was quiet, and when they got there, Phil fumbled getting the key in the door to unlock it. Eventually, he was successful and he pushed the door open and rolled Dan inside.

"Ok, Bear, what do you want to do now that you are home?"

"I want to watch a movie!" he said, throwing his hands up in the air excitedly.

"Ok then! Let's get you into the lounge and get you situated."

"Can we watch Frozen?" Dan asked Phil as pushed him into their lounge.

"Of course," he answered, a small smile creeping onto his face.

Phil helped Dan onto the couch and put the movie into their Blu-Ray player. He quickly settled down alongside Dan and wrapped his arm around his waist, pulling him closer.

Dan wasted no time resting his head on Phil's shoulder and melting into Phil's body. Phil was not paying attention to the movie; he was startled out of his thoughts when Dan started softly snoring. He smiled a little; Dan always looked so cute when he slept.

Phil turned his attention to the movie, realizing that they weren't even halfway through yet.

He didn't want to get up but wanted to take this opportunity to get a few things done before Dan woke up again. As carefully as he could, he slid Dan's head off his shoulder and replaced it with a pillow. Dan stirred, but quickly rolled over and continued to sleep. Phil was as quiet as possible as he left the lounge and headed for the bathroom.

The doctor had instructed him to wash around his own stitches twice a day and to wrap it up afterwards. He had spent so much of his time taking care of Dan that he probably could have done a better job taking care of Phil's own stitches. Still, Dan was more important than himself at that point. But with the few spare minutes he had, he figured he should probably try and take care of his wound. He unwrapped the current bandage that was wrapped around his hand.

He hissed in pain as the bandage stuck to the wound a little bit. The stitches were red and the edges of the wound were tinged green. Phil wasn't stupid—he knew that meant they were getting infected. He cursed; this is just what he needed. He took a deep breath and started cleaning around the stitches. Once he was satisfied, he gently dried it with a towel and wrapped it back up. He hoped that if he started taking care of it now that the infection would go away.

Phil walked back into the lounge to make sure Dan was still asleep before he headed to their office. The worked had piled up over the last few weeks and he hoped that he could answer a few emails before Dan woke up.

He spent a total of about thirty minutes trying to answer emails from their management and Youtube. He just couldn't do it; he had no idea what to say to any of them. He sighed in annoyance; he wasn't going to get any of this done today.

He pulled out his phone and almost found himself clicking on the little blue Twitter icon, but he caught himself before he did. He wasn't ready to see what people were saying yet. He hadn't even been able to go on Twitter and tell the fans that Dan had been found. Like a coward, he had let Louise and their friends tell everyone and deal with it all. Of course, no one knew exactly what had happened, so most of the answers they gave were very vague, but he figured Dan would want it that way anyway.

Phil looked at the time and realized he had been gone for over an hour, so he figured he should probably be getting back before Dan woke up.

~~~~

Over the next few days, they settled into a routine. They spent most of the time playing with Dan's toys or watching movies. During the daytime, Dan was fine, but sleeping and night-time were a different story. Two or three times a night Dan would wake up screaming and crying, on the edge of a panic attack. Phil was obviously there every time to comfort him, but whenever he asked what his dreams had been about, Dan said he couldn't remember. It broke Phil's heart every time it happened, but he made sure that Dan didn't pick up on it. 

During the rare times Dan would let Phil out of his sight, he was either on the phone to the detectives or his mum. Each day he grew angrier and angrier. The police still had no idea who Seth's accomplice had been and while they wouldn't admit it to Phil, they had pretty much given up trying. Not only was Phil angry, but he was also terrified. Every time he closed his eyes at night, images of Dan being taken away from him again flashed through his mind. He couldn't help but think back to his and Dan's pictures up on the wall at Seth's cabin. The men had been obviously been stalking them for a while. Phil was terrified and hadn't left the apartment since they had gotten home a few days ago. But as it reached their fifth day home, Phil had no choice but to leave the house as it was Dan's first therapy appointment.

He hadn't mentioned this to Dan as he was worried his little brain wouldn't be able to comprehend exactly what therapy was. All he’d told the boy was that they were going to visit a new friend.

Phil spent the whole morning tense and on edge, even snapping once at Dan when he whined that he wanted Phil to play with him. Phil had felt guilty immediately and made it up to him by baking some cookies with him. Soon though, it was approaching the time that they had to leave. He sighed, they might as well get this done and over with.

~~~~

"Daniel Howell." Phil looked up from his phone as Dan's name was called out. He looked to his baby. "Will you be alright back there by yourself?"

Dan bit his lip and slowly nodded his head, "I think so, Daddy."

"Ok," he gave Dan a smile and squeezed his hand. "I will be waiting right here when you come out, ok?"

"Ok, Daddy." The nurse took ahold of his chair. Dan gave one last look at Phil before he was pushed around the corner.

~~~~

"Hi, Daniel, my name is Dr Miller, but you can call me Lela."

Lela hadn't been told much of anything about this patient. The only thing that she had been told was he had been through a very violent and traumatic ordeal. She had been selected to be Daniel's therapist because she specialized in people with abnormal headspaces. She’d treated more than a few people who liked to let their minds slip into little space, but she had never worked with anyone who as stuck in that state.

She quietly observed the man who was currently putting together the puzzle she had gotten out for him. Neither one of them had broken the silence since Daniel had asked to put the puzzle together. If she didn't know better, she wouldn't guess the man sitting in front of her had gone through any type of ordeal. He looked like he didn't have a care in the world, giggling every once in a while when he would try and put together two wrong pieces.

She let him play for a few more minutes before she broke the silence. "So, Daniel, who was the man with you in the waiting room?"

Dan's eyes didn't even leave his puzzle. "That's my daddy."

"Oh, that's nice. Daniel, what does your daddy do?"

Dan looked up from his puzzle and looked at her like she was stupid.

"He's my daddy; he takes care of me and plays with me."

Lela smiled, not taking any offence to his tone.

"So, why are you here today?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "I dunno; Daddy said I had to talk to a friend of his."

_ So he didn't know what he was here for. Interesting.  _

"Well, Daniel, I am here for you to talk to. Is there anything you would like to talk about?"

He shrugged his shoulders again. 

"I dunno."

His attention was now back on the puzzle.

She sighed. It didn't look like they were going to make much progress in this session. With that in mind, she spent the rest of the session getting to know Daniel and trying to earn his trust. She learned that both he and Phil were YouTubers and that Dan - as be preferred to be called - loved to play video games. She also learned that pink was his favourite colour while little, but he was aware when he was big he liked black. It wasn't much, but therapy took time and she was just glad Dan hadn't shut her out completely.

When their session was over, she wheeled Dan back into the waiting room. When they arrived, Dan quickly grabbed on to his daddy, whispering softly in his ear. She watched for a moment before she cleared her throat.

"Mr Lester, can I please speak to you for a few minutes in my office?"

With a confused look on his face, Phil told Dan he would be right back and followed the therapist.

She held out her hand once they were in her office. 

"Mr Lester, my name is Dr Miller, but please just call me Lela. I’m not one to enjoy titles."

Phil took her hand. "Lovely to meet you; please, call me Phil."

"Phil, alright. I just wanted to go over Dan's progress with you."

"Ok," Phil nodded at her to continue.

"Dan didn't tell me much. He mainly told me the fun things you two like to do together. But Phil, are you aware Dan has no idea why he was brought here today?"

She watched his face for a reaction, but there wasn't one.

Phil sighed. "He hasn't talked about anything since he was rescued. He says he doesn't remember anything."

"Well, that isn't incredibly rare for people who have suffered a traumatic event. If it is true he doesn't remember, we need to focus on his making Dan feel comfortable and safe. He will remember eventually and he will need support and someone to talk to when that happens."

He nodded, understanding what she was saying.

"I also wanted to ask you how you were doing, Phil."

He looked at her, startled. "Why?"

"Because I know how difficult trauma can be on family members and friends. This didn't just happen to Dan, but it happened to you as well."

She watched as a tear rolled down his face. "No one has asked me how I was doing; I've been putting all my energy into Dan. I'm- I'm not really sure how I'm feeling."

"That's alright, Phil, take your time."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Phil broke it. 

"I'm mostly angry, but also scared."

"Why are you scared, Phil?"

"I'm scared because they haven't caught the second guy yet. I'm scared that Dan will never be his old self. But mainly I'm scared that I'm not good enough to take care of him anymore."

"Why do you feel like that, do you think?"

He shrugged his shoulders. Lela waited.

"Because it was my fault he was taken in the first place. If I had been paying attention then none of this would have happened."

Lela had met plenty of people who blamed themselves for traumatic things that happened to their partners or family but this case broke her heart even more. She didn't know much about what happened, but she could tell that Phil loved Dan, and it was most certainly not his fault. They spent a few minutes talking and she gave Phil some homework to have Dan try and complete. Specifically, she asked for some drawings for them to bring at Dan's next session. She said their goodbyes and Lela watched Phil push Dan out of the building. She could tell; this was going to be a really tough case.


	11. Chapter 11

Phil smiled as he watched Dan giggle and lick at his ice cream cone. He had decided that since they had been cooped up in the house since he had returned from the hospital, they both deserved a little time out. Phil wasn't too worried about anything happening while they were out. Yesterday he had called Officer Temple down at the police station and expressed his fears about the second kidnapper. Officer Temple, or Luke as Phil was told to call him, was very understanding about his worries and offered to have a police car follow them and watch their apartment for the time being. 

"Daddy, I'm done!"

Phil was shook out of his thoughts.

"Ok, Bear, let's go home, yeah?"

"Ok, Daddy!" Dan giggled. Phil took his hand and they caught a cab back to their apartment.

On the way up to their apartment, Phil grabbed their mail. He threw it on the kitchen counter as he passed it, rolling Dan's wheelchair into the lounge.

Dan yawned, making Phil smile. Dan always looked so cute when he yawned, and for some reason, it was even cuter and more innocent when he was little. 

"Ok, Danny, I think it's time for a nap."

"But I don't wanna. I wanna play with you," he demanded, breaking off halfway through the sentence for another yawn. 

"Come on, Bear, if you take a nap now we can play once you get up, ok?"

Dan took a moment to think about it before he nodded his head, followed by another yawn. 

It took longer than he would care to admit, but after reading Dan three stories, he finally got him to sleep. Phil sighed as he walked into the kitchen. He picked up the mail that he had brought up with him earlier. It was mostly the normal stuff: bills and some junk mail. But at the bottom of the pile, a letter caught his eye. It was not a professionally written letter; the handwriting looked like it had been scrawled out quickly and without a care.

He shrugged as he opened it, a photo fluttering out of the envelope and landing at his feet. He went over to pick it up but almost dropped the envelope as he realized what the picture was. The picture was of him and Dan the day they had left the hospital. Phil had a red cross over his head and Dan's was circled. With shaking hands, Phil turned the photo over, swallowing thickly before reading the words written.

_ 'I'm watching. Did you really think I would give him up so easily? He is mine and I will have him again!' _

Phil dropped to his knees, tears falling from his eyes as he clenched the photo in his hands. He felt vulnerable and frightened. This guy had probably been watching them while they were out an hour earlier. Even if there was an officer on them there was still a possibility of this- this  _ maniac  _ trying to take Dan again. He stayed on the floor for another ten minutes, just crying and staring at the picture before he shakingly got back up. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he wiped his tears away as he dialled the police station.

Phil sighed for what seemed like the millionth time that evening. After he had called the police station, they told him to come down and show them the letter he had received. He wasn't too happy about leaving Dan, but he also didn't want him coming to the police station with him, afraid that his little mind wouldn't understand what was going on. So he had phoned Louise and she agreed to watch him at their flat while Phil went to the station.

And if receiving the letter wasn't bad enough, apparently the press and media wanted some sort of update or something on Dan. Someone had spotted them when they were out earlier that day and camped outside their apartment. The moment he stepped out of their apartment, he had been swarmed by the press mob.

"Phil, are there any new developments in the case?"

"Mr Lester, is it true you were really involved in the kidnapping?"

"Why hasn't anyone heard anything from Mr Howell?"

"Is it true you and Mr Howell cooked this whole thing up for publicity?"

His eyes had leaked tears as he had pushed his way through the crowd. Luckily, there was a cab right outside their apartment and he didn't have to wait. Much to the dismay of his cab driver though, he had broken down in the back of the cab, sobbing. The cab driver had tried talking to him and seeing if he was ok but had ultimately given up after Phil had let out a heart-wrenching sob. By the time they had reached the police station, he was just snuffling. Embarrassed, he paid the driver and quickly made his way inside.

"Ok, Phil, if you receive any more letters like this you need to tell us immediately. And we are putting an extra car on you guys just to make sure this scumbag doesn't try anything."

He sighed, grateful. "Thank you." He fidgeted in his seat. "Do you really think he would try anything? I mean, with the police watching and everything-?"

"Phil, all we know is this is a very dangerous man who has already taken Dan once. We really don't want to take the chance of it happening again."

All Phil wanted to do was go home and be with Dan. He didn't want to think about any of this right now.

He was out of the door ten minutes later after Luke explained how the police surveillance stuff worked. Dan and Phil were not supposed to leave their apartment unless absolutely necessary, and under no circumstances where they to answer the door to someone they didn't know.

He thanked the officer and left, shooting Louise a text.

_ Phil: On my way home to Dan. _

_ Louise: Alright be careful, Love. We will be waiting when you get here. _


	12. Chapter 12

When Phil had left the police station two days ago with the first letter, he had been looking over his shoulder the whole way home. And since then, they had been receiving multiple letters a day. Even with the police watching the apartment, this maniac was still able to slip multiple letters a day, plus pictures of Phil leaving the police station the other day under their door.

The police couldn't explain how the letters were still getting to them, but they assured Phil that they were perfectly safe as long as they stayed in their apartment. Phil had scoffed when Luke told him this. At that point, he’d lost all his faith in the police. If they couldn't even keep a proper watch on their front door, how in the world were they supposed to be trusted to keep them safe? 

When Phil had informed them that Dan's family was coming to visit, they weren't too happy. Truth be told Phil, wasn't very happy about it either. They had all but invited themselves even after Phil tried telling them that Dan was just settling back at home and trying to recover. He didn't mention the letters to them either, so as far as they were concerned, the danger was over.

Dan's family even had to go through a whole search before they had been permitted to come up to their apartment building. 

Dan currently sat in the middle of the living room in his Winnie the Pooh onesie, playing with his toys. Phil was trying to balance several teacups in his uninjured hand and carry them to the living room. Cursing himself, he realized he had forgotten the sugar. He hauled the tray back into the kitchen to grab it. Just before he re-entered the living room, he heard hushed voices.

"Daniel, this is ridiculous! Stop acting like a child," Phil heard Dan's mother hiss at him.

Phil stopped in the doorway to listen.

"What do you mean?" a very confused Dan questioned in his little voice. 

His father angrily whispered, "I understand you went through a traumatic ordeal, but why do you have to act like _this_?"

Not letting this go any further, Phil quickly entered the living room and set the tray down on the coffee table. It's a good thing Phil came in when he did—he noticed a tear slip from Dan's eye after being scolded by his parents. Dan's parents had equally angry faces on.

His parents had never understood their lifestyle. They have chosen to believe that Dan faked it all to get attention, which is why it had taken him so long to open up to Phil about being a little in the first place.

"Does anyone what some tea?" he asked, forcing a smile.

"Thank you," Dan's mother said taking the cup, the angry scowl never leaving her face.

They sat there quietly for a few minutes, sipping their tea as they watched Dan who had since crawled up into Phil's lap and was filling in the pictures in his colouring book. 

Dan pushed his books off to the side as he curled himself into Phil's side further. 

"Can I have some juice, Daddy?" he asked, trying to whisper it in Phil's ear.

Phil was just about to answer when Dan's mother let out an angry huff. "Daniel James Howell, you knock this shit off right now! Stop acting like a child! I want my Dan back!"

By the time she finished, she was breathing heavily. Dan's father looked a bit shocked; Phil guessed he hadn't expected his wife to have an outburst in front of Phil.

Phil curled his arm around a now sobbing Dan, furious. 

"Don't you talk to him like that! He can't help it!" Phil shouted angrily at Dan's mum.

"Don't you tell me how I can and can't talk to my son! I have known him a lot longer than you have, and I can tell you right now he is faking this act!" She gestured towards Dan's shaking figure on the couch as she spoke.

Phil quickly moved Dan onto the couch so he could stand up.

"I'm going to have to ask both of you to leave. Dan doesn't need this kind of stress."

"You're kicking us out?" Phil had no idea why she acted shocked by this.

"Yes, and if both of you don't leave right now I won't hesitate to call the police officer that is currently sitting outside and have him escort you out."

Without another word, she spun around and headed to the front door. Dan's father stood there looking more shocked than anything.

"Steve, are you coming?" she yelled across the room.

Before he spun around to leave, he said to Phil, "I'm sorry," and briskly walked out the door, following his wife.

After Dan's parents stormed out, it had taken Phil almost an hour to calm him down and even then, he hadn't really calmed him down, more Dan had exhausted himself and had passed out in Phil's lap. Phil sat there for a few minutes, just letting Dan nap in his lap, but his legs were starting to cramp up. As gently as he could, he picked him up bridal style and carried him to their room. He made sure Dan was all tucked in before he made his way to the bathroom. He sighed. The last few weeks had been so stressful. He squeezed his hands into fists and winced as his injured hand shot pain up his arm. He decided he should probably clean his wound, and maybe he could take a quick nap in as well.

He unwrapped the gauze, hissing in pain once the last of it came off.

It hadn't gotten any better over the last two days. There was a bright red ring around the wound and there was pus coming from the stitches themselves. He dabbed the area around the wound with disinfectant and black spots danced in front of his vision from the pain. He cleaned the area as best as he could before he wrapped it back up again. Normally something like this would concern Phil, but he was too tired and exhausted to even think about it. He stumbled his way back to their bedroom before he collapsed into the bed. Dan stirred, but didn't wake up, instead just snuggling into Phil's chest. It didn't take Phil long to fall into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning, Phil was awoken by the sound of Dan playing quietly in the bed next to him. The first thing he noticed was his head was pounding, and his hand felt like it was on fire. He groaned and rubbed his eyes.

"Morning, Daddy," Dan said, smiling at him.

Phil forced a smile onto his face.

"Morning, Baby."

He felt like complete and utter shit, but he knew Dan needed to be taken care of. He groggily pulled himself out of bed and he checked Dan's diaper, mentally cursing himself for not checking before he laid Dan down yesterday. Luckily, Dan hadn't wet himself in the night. Phil spent the rest of the morning preparing Dan’s breakfast and getting him ready for his next therapy appointment. He had been hesitant to leave the apartment, even for therapy, but the officer stationed outside their apartment assured him that they would be following close behind and neither of them was in any danger.

So reluctantly, Phil and Dan made their way out to Dan's therapist. It went just about the same as last time, the only difference was Phil ended up nodding off in the waiting room as he still didn't feel very good. He was startled awake when Dan pulled on his arm.

"You all done, Baby?"

"Yes! And look what I got!" he exclaimed, showing Phil a teddy bear.

"Oh, how nice. Where did you get that?"

"The nice lady gave him to me. She said that he didn't have a home and I said he could come home and live with us."

Phil cooed and patted his head. They set up Dan's next appointment with Phil promising to bring in some of Dan's drawings with him next time. Since he’d been feeling so poor this morning, he forgot to grab the couple he had picked out to bring.

Dan chatted mindlessly away about something on the way home and, if you asked Phil what Dan had said, he wouldn't be able to tell you. He added the appropriate 'mhm' and 'is that so?' whenever it was needed but in all honesty, he just wanted to crawl back into bed and pass out. His head was pounding worse than ever and the pain in his hand had migrated all the way up his arm to his elbow. Phil knew he should probably get it checked out but at this point, he had no energy; he couldn't even imagine dragging Dan back out today. 

He pulled his key out of the apartment to unlock the door when he noticed that the door was already unlocked. He was sure he locked before they left earlier; he'd been making sure to double-check ever since they had started receiving threats. But he figured he was so out of it this morning he probably forgot to lock it. Even still, not wanting to take the chance, he called down to the current officer outside and asked if he would come up and check out the apartment.

"Well, it looks all good, Phil, no one's in here," the officer said, taking one last look around the lounge.

"Thank you for coming up to check." He forced a smile, hoping the officer wouldn't want to exchange pleasantries. 

Luckily for him, the officer seemed to want to get out of the apartment as much as Phil wanted him to leave. 

"Not at all. If you need help or have any more questions, I will be right outside."

Phil thanked the officer and asked him to lock the door on his way out. 

He was so tempted to just fall asleep on the sofa in the lounge, but he knew he couldn't do that as Dan had just asked him for some juice.

Stumbling his way to the kitchen, he got Dan's favourite sippy cup out of the dishwasher. He nearly cried when he hit his hand on the door to the dishwasher but he closed his eyes and pushed the pain away.

"Danny, what kind of juice do you want?"

Phil waited for an answer but he didn't get one. Figuring Dan had fallen asleep, he turned around to go check on him, but he didn't make it very far before a pain blossomed across his skull and everything went black.

~~~~

When he came to, the first thing he noticed was the pain in his head, the second thing he noticed was his hands were tied behind his back. His eyes shot open. He was in their bedroom. It was dark, but he could still make out Dan's brown eyes staring at him a few feet away.

"Dan, are you ok?" Phil attempted to loosen the rope wrapped around his hands. Dan didn't answer, he just whined in response to his question. He was in the process of trying to slide his way over to Dan when the door opened. Since it was dark, at first all he could see was a silhouette and some light spilling in behind them. The figure shut the door and turned on the light. Stood in front of him was the officer that had checked their apartment earlier.

"Thank god it's you. Come untie me," Phil sighed in relief. Instead of making his way over to help him out, a sinister smile grew on the officer's face.

Chuckling, he said, "I sure had all of you fooled, didn't I?" he asked, looking more than pleased with himself. 

Phil's brows knitted in confusion. "What are you on about? Come over here and untie me." He once again motioned his head behind him towards the ropes that had him bound.

The man took a few steps further into the room, and Phil's head started to scream _DANGER_.

"I've been waiting for the right time to do this, but you leaving the apartment unlocked was truly a godsend."

"I don't know, Sir. Tou checked the apartment but someone must have still been hiding inside," he attempted to explain.

"Well, I'll work on my searching skills later. Right now, I want to have some fun," he grinned.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Phil saw Dan. His eyes were wide with fear; he looked absolutely terrified.

The man made his way over to Dan and Phil's heart raced.

"Keep your hands off him!" Phil screamed. "Leave him alone!" 

The man simply chuckled, completely ignoring Phil and marching over to Dan.

"Did you miss me, Princess?" he asked sickeningly. Dan violently shook his head, pushing himself more into the corner as if the walls could swallow him whole.

"Aw, don't be like that. We had lots of fun, didn't we?"

"Shut up now or I swear to god!" Phil shouted, anger but also terror, running through him.

"Or what? You'll never get out of here, at least not alive. And who would they believe? A baby and his pathetic daddy, or a police officer who's been serving for eight years?"

The man finished their conversation by turning back to Dan and tilting his head up. 

"Shame you got away, Princess. This isn't going to be much fun for you anymore," he snickered, unbuckling his belt.

"Daddy, help me!" Dan cried, eyes wide as he stared at his daddy, expecting him to come save him.

"Aw, there-there, your daddy can't help you now."

Phil watched on with fear, anger and every other unpleasant emotion boiling in his veins. Not only had the second guy got away free the first time, but Phil had let him stay outside their house for days on end. He'd let him within a meter of Dan without questioning anything. This was all his fault. If only he'd just held on a little longer or brought Dan to the bathroom with him.

"You got yourself a good one, Phil," the man groaned, thrusting his hips in and out of Dan's mouth.

"Stop, please! He's little, do you know what this will do to him?"

"Do you think I care? Besides, the little princess puts up way less of a fight. He's a lot easier, just gotta tell him he's a good boy and he follows your every word," he laughed, moaning as he came in Dan's mouth.

"Go to sleep, Princess. You'll need it for tomorrow." The man buckled his pants, walking over to Phil. "Don't worry, you'll get to have some fun tomorrow too. But you'll get a different kind of fun, I’m not into fucking ugly fuckwads. So long," he said, the last two words cheery, as if they were old friends.

Phil listened as the man locked the door and shuffled along the floor on his knees towards Dan.

"Love? Are you okay?" he asked carefully, tears welling in his eyes.

"Daddy!" Dan cried, putting his head against Phil's chest. Phil desperately wanted to wrap his arms around his baby, but the ties around his wrists made that an impossible task.

"Why didn’ you protect me?" he sobbed. "You said you look after me but Sir is back and I'm scared, Daddy. I'm so scared of him!"

Phil comforted him the best he could with just his words. Their captor returned for a minute, shoving two plates of food in front of them and forcing Dan's face into one with the bottom of his shoe.

"Enjoy," he said, walking back out of the room. Phil strained his ears as Dan tried to clean his face. He could make out the words "safe" and "lookout." It sounded like he was still in contacts with the police. The same police who believed they were safe at home, far away from Dan's (and now Phil's) captor.


	13. Chapter 13

The following few days passed in pain and suffering. It was all either of them knew. Dan was still constantly little, with no idea what was going on or why he was being hurt so much, and the whole thing was breaking Phil's heart. At least big Dan would have understood what was happening.

Their captor (or Sir, as Dan was calling him) was definitely right about Phil getting to have some more 'fun' the next day. By the end of it, Phil was almost contemplating going deeper to end Dan's suffering.

"How are you feeling this morning?" their captor sneered, unlocking the door and locking it again behind him.

"Fuck you!" Phil shouted in reply, glaring at the man even though he was defenceless with his hands tied behind his back.

"No thanks, I'm happy with your little baby." 

Phil physically gagged at his words. Dan didn't deserve this. No one deserved constant torment and suffering, and Phil firmly believed that people like their captor were some of the lowest of the low, but Dan deserved the whole world in his hands.

Their captor quickly stripped Dan of his boxers that Phil had clumsily put on him the night before.

Dan cowered in the corner of the room, sobbing and crying out for Phil as his boxers were ripped off him and aggressive hands grabbed his hips. The man never prepared him and never used any lube, causing Dan to groan and gasp in pain, sobbing harder. The worst of it though was after the man came and pulled out of Dan. There was blood. A lot of blood, every time. The sick bastard was tearing up Dan's insides and didn't care one bit about it.

When lunchtime came around, Phil ate up all his lunch, knowing Dan's punishment if he didn't. He'd made that mistake at breakfast and he would eat up everything now to protect his little baby. He knew something wasn't right though when his limbs started to feel weighed down, as if he'd just woken from a long nap.

"What-" Phil began, his muscles feeling slow and sluggish. Phil's  _ what did you do to me?  _ died before the rest of the words could tumble out of his mouth, his tongue feeling like lead.

"Faster acting than I thought." the captor stated, laughing as he saw Phil's confused face. "Can you still read?" he asked, holding up an orange bottle to his face: Anectine. He'd been drugged. Phil had never heard of it before, but he was scared of what it would do. 

"Aw, don't be scared. You'll stay conscious, I promise. Though, to be honest, you'd probably prefer to be unaware."

The man strode across the room over to Dan and slapped him for absolutely no reason. Dan's only response was a few tears sliding down his permanently red cheeks.

"Aw, Princess, that can't have hurt that bad. You better toughen up, Love." He walked over to the bed and unzipped the bag he'd placed on it earlier. He pulled out ropes and something silver that Phil couldn't quite see. The man moved back over to Dan, untying his hands after making Dan promise not to fight. Little Dan agreed to everything if he was told it'd make his daddy happy. Dan's arms were tied above his head, rope going over the exposed beam in the room to hold him up. Dan's legs buckled from the lack of use, but the rope tugged his wrists, causing him to cry out and stand back up.

Dan stood tall but broken as Phil was dragged across the carpet, his skin burning as his knees scratched against the blue-grey flooring. The silver thing that Phil couldn't see earlier was forced into his hands. A switch-blade. It was open and threatening as Phil's fingers unwillingly curled around it. The man grinned at Phil's confused expression, holding the blade in Phil's hand, his rough grip hurting Phil's fingers.

"Now, Phil, any suggestions as to what you should write?" he asked, lightly tapping the blade in Phil's hand against Dan's stomach, making him quiver and convulse at the cold touch.

"No, please don't," Phil begged, finally putting the pieces together with his slow and sluggish mind; he understood exactly what was about to happen.

"No ideas? Shame, I was thinking 'princess', since that's what Seth and I like to call him."

Phil's hand, the one holding the knife, was pushed forward, forcing the blade against Dan's smooth skin, pressing into it and making Dan cry out.

"Danny, it's okay, I promise. You're a good boy, I'm so sorry," Phil sobbed, beginning to carve the ‘i' into his stomach. The dot was the worst, with Phil being forced to dig into Dan's stomach, carving out a circle that bled red with the rest of the cuts.

"Daddy, hurts, stop please, it hurts, Daddy please," Dan cried, stomach convulsing in a desperate attempt to get away from the blade.

"I'm sorry, Danny. You're good, I promise. You're such a good boy, you're amazing, always doing what you're asked to. Always listening when told to do something. You're so good, Love. I'm so sorry."

Phil unwillingly continued to carve letters into Dan's bare skin, the younger crying and begging him to stop all the while. Phil just kept telling Dan how good he was and how sorry he was for doing this. Dan wasn't aware that Phil was being forced to, all he knew was that his Daddy was hurting him.

"Gorgeous," the man laughed, pulling the blood-covered blade from Phil's hand and cutting the rope, allowing Dan to collapse to the ground.

He let go of Phil who all but collapsed as his whole body was like jelly, unable to move and stand properly. Phil frustratingly watched as their captor grabbed a tea towel from the bag and swiped it across Dan's stomach, making him scream as the open cuts caught and dragged with the fabric.

"Aw, princess, look at you. So pretty, don't you love your daddy? Making you look so pretty?" Dan sobbed and shook his head, mumbling something about pain through his tears.

The man packed up his bag, walking from the room and locking it behind him.

"Danny, I'm so, so sorry," Phil said again, shuffling over to Dan as best as he could despite his knees aching in protest. At least his body was slowly coming back to him and he could control himself again.

"Daddy!" Dan cried, swinging his now-free arms around Phil's neck and crying into his chest. "I was bad, I'm sorry, I'll never be back again. I love you, Daddy, I'm sorry, I understand if you don't want me anymore."

"No, Dan, don't say that. I love you and I'll never ever leave you. We'll get out of this, okay? I don't know how but I'm not going to let you live your life like this."

~~~~

As the next few days past, Phil and Dan were both in constant pain. Dan's was mainly physical, having to deal with the pain of the cuts as they multiplied. The only thing he had going for him really was that Phil was never forced to make the cuts very deep, keeping all of them surface-level. Phil's burden was mainly his emotional and mental suffering. Every cut he was forced to make on his Dan's skin felt like he was making one over his heart. He regularly cried, and absolutely hated himself for not finding a way to fix things. He was supposed to protect Dan but really all that he was doing was hurting Dan more and more.

Phil hated to say it, but he was debating cutting into Dan's stomach harder. Dan's stomach was littered with words now, a new one for each morning and night.  _ Princess. Darling. Danny.  _ The words got worse though.  _ Slut. Bitch. Fat cunt. Whore.  _ Dan cried every line Phil drew, sobbing harder at the curved letters like 's' and 'b' and 'n'.

It would hurt a fuck tonne if Phil cut deeper, but if Dan bled enough, he'd pass out and slowly pass away. Killing Dan was the last thing he'd ever want to do, but in this case, it was maybe best for Dan. After all, Phil had promised to protect Dan. Ending his suffering would protect him from anymore that was sure to come.

Phil shuffled onto his other side. He was trying to sleep with absolutely no success.

The question was, would Phil even be able to do it? Hurting Dan as he already was was hands-down the most painful thing he'd ever done, could he really go through with it and hurt him more?


	14. Chapter 14

The next morning, Phil woke up with Dan's head on his chest with him curled into his side. He blinked the grogginess from his eyes, his brain still not quite awake enough to process anything. His heart filled with despair and agony as he remembered his thoughts from yesterday. Of course, he didn't want Dan dead but almost anything was better than what he was going through now.

A tear sprung from his eye as he looked down at Dan's shirtless body, the words he had carved yesterday were bright red compared to the fading of the words from the previous days. Rage spread through his body because he had been the one to cause Dan this pain. Phil didn't know if either one of them would make it out of this alive, but he knows one thing for sure. If he ever got the chance, he would kill this man.

Phil's arms were aching something fierce as they were still tied behind his back. He wiggled his hands slightly to try and get in a more comfortable position, feeling the blood quickly rush back into his fingertips with the movement, making them tingle. He did notice though that some of the ropes seemed to have loosened somewhat; he figured if he moved his hands around enough maybe he would be able to slip out of them with minimal rope burn.

With Phil set to work on that, he didn't even notice Dan had woken up until he started to squirm.

"Daddy, what are you doing?" he whined into his chest.

He jumped slightly, startled, but easily relaxed. 

"Sorry, Love, I'm trying to get out of these ropes," he sighed.

"I wanna help," Dan said, hissing in pain as he moved off Phil's chest and started to work on the ropes.

It didn't take long before Phil was able to slip his hands out. The first thing he did with his newly freed hands was wrap them tight around Dan, feeling tears spring to his eyes. They sat there for a while before the door opened.

"Aw, would you look at that. Isn't that just so sweet," he spit out, a dark look in his eye.

Dan buried his face deeper into Phil, trying to make himself invisible.

"Well, since you managed to get yourself loose, I guess you want in on the fun too, huh?" he smirked at Phil.

Phil glared at him wrapping his arms tighter around Dan.

Their captor sauntered over and roughly grabbed Phil's arm, trying to get him to let go of Dan. 

"Stop it! Please just leave us alone! Haven't you caused both of us enough pain?!" he screamed and pleaded with him. In a small, rational corner of his brain, Phil knew he probably should use his freedom to fight back, but he was just so  _ scared. _

"Shut up fag!" he yanked harder, managing to get Dan free of his arms.

"No, Daddy, please!" Dan cried as the man dragged Phil away from him.

Dan crawled his way over and that earned him a hard slap in the face that sent him flying across the room. He groaned in pain as he cradled his face in his hands.

"Please, stop it!" Phil pleaded but to no avail as the man harshly yanked Phil's pants down. He was weak from everything that had happened, and their captor was too strong; he didn't stand a chance. 

Without any preparation, he forced himself inside of Phil. Phil wanted to be strong for Dan, but he couldn't stop the tears that fell down his face as his mouth opened in a silent scream. It felt like someone had shoved literal fire inside of him. 

He was so consumed by what was happening he almost didn't hear the groan come from the other side of the room.

"P-Phil?" his head snapped towards Dan, whose shape was blurred by Phil's tears.

"What's going on?"

He was rubbing his eyes and had a look of confusion written on his face.

More tears fell from Phil's eyes. This could be a fluke, he could slip back at any time, but at the moment he was pretty sure his Dan was back.

Lucky for Dan, the man was so enthralled in what he was doing that he hadn't heard Dan come back.

Dan's eyes snapped to what was happening, several emotions crossing his face at once. Confusion, fear, anger, and hatred all blurring by. He didn't know exactly what was happening, but he knew at this moment, Phil needed his help. He quickly crawled his way over and jumped on the man's back, feeling rage surge through his veins.

The man screamed as Dan bit him in the neck, ripping out a chunk of skin. He was roughly pushed to the floor and kicked.

"You fucking faggot! Why did you do that?!" the man screamed as he kicked him a few more times. He cupped his neck to stop the bleeding and quickly left the room, cursing and yelling threats at them.

Leaving Dan and Phil alone for the first time in a long time.

~~~~

Dan sat quietly in the corner his arms wrapped around his knees, his brain trying to process everything Phil had just told him through tears and sobs. He remembered some of it, but other parts were more of a black haze. If he hadn't had experienced some of it for himself he would have thought Phil was lying to him with how sick and twisted it all sounded.

He couldn't believe that not only this happened, but he had been permanently stuck in little space for the last two weeks. That is the longest he had ever gone with not being able to regress back. And even then he usually remembered being little; this time, his mind was blank. Phil had told him he feared Dan might never come back. Dan's emotions where all over the place and his brain was having a really tough time trying to process everything. He was stuck in denial.

Phil had tried to hold him after he explained the events of the past two weeks, but Dan had yanked away from him, not wanting to be touched by anyone at that moment. Phil had looked hurt, but let Dan fold into himself, leaving him alone to his own thoughts. He knows it was selfish after everything Phil had done for him but he couldn't stand the thought of anyone touching him. He felt dirty, ruined and worthless and on top of all that, he hurt all over, inside and out.

Tears welled in his eyes as he looked down at his stomach again and at the words carved into his body.

After an hour or so, his body and mind where exhausted and he had to fight to keep his eyes open. He was terrified that if he let himself sleep, he might not wake back up big and that he’d regress again instead. He was scared, scared of regressing, scared of his circumstances, scared of what would happen next.

Phil watched as Dan fought the tiredness that was surely washing over him. He had just spent the last hour traumatizing Dan all over again. He had tried to leave out as much of the details as he could but Dan had told him he remembered some of it. He hadn't gone into details about what he remembered, but the look on his face was enough that Phil didn't ask and he wasn't sure he really wanted to know. 

When Phil had tried hugging him, Dan flung himself away and cowered into the corner. He would be lying if he said it didn't hurt him but he also could understand what Dan was going through at the moment.

Phil was happy big Dan was back but it tore his heart to shreds having to relive everything. Still, he knew Dan deserved the truth of what had happened.

Sir hadn't been back since Dan had bitten him but he didn't figure it would be much longer. He never left them for more than a few hours at a time. But that, of course, was before Dan had fought back.

Phil leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes, hoping to get a few hours of sleep before Sir came back.

Dan watched Phil close his eyes and sighed. He was done with being alone in his thoughts. He crawled over to Phil and lightly touched him on the shoulder.

"Philly, can we cuddle?"

Phil jumped slightly, either from sleep or not hearing Dan shuffle over.

"Of course. Come here." He smiled tightly and opened his arms. Dan crawled into his lap and rested his head on Phil's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled so softly he wasn't sure if Phil heard him or not.

Apparently he had, because Phil wrapped his arms tighter around his waist and pressed a kiss on his head.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, my love."

Not being able to fight the tiredness anymore, he let his eyes close, just being content to be with Phil at this moment.


	15. Chapter 15

"See you next week," Lela smiled, waving as Rick (as he was for the duration of their appointment) exited the building and climbed into his brother's car. She had two different patients with dissociative identity disorder, but it sometimes felt like ten. Liam, as he was named as a baby, had three different personalities: himself, Rick and Leia.

She sighed, returning to her office to do some paperwork before her appointment with Dan. Last week when he'd come in, they hadn't really discussed much, but she was worried for both of them: Phil because he blames himself and Dan because he still didn't remember anything. There was no rush, of course, but repressing (often mistaken for forgetting) trauma often ended badly for when the memories resurfaced.

A half-hour later, she realized Dan and Phil were twenty minutes late for their appointment. She picked up the phone on her desk, punching Dan’s home phone number into the keypad, using the form she had him fill out during their first visit here.

The dial rang and she picked up a pen to add a note to her to-do list. The ringing eventually stopped only to be replaced with a robotic voice telling her they were _"not available at that moment"_ and that she should _"leave a message after the tone"_. She sighed, putting down the phone. Maybe they were running late and on their way, so obviously they couldn't answer their _home_ _phone_.

She logged into her computer, opting to do some work until they arrived. They never did though. The hour session passed and ten minutes later, her next client was coming in for their session.

Lela spent the rest of the afternoon either with patients or completing paperwork. At 4:30, she decided to leave early; she had no more patients that day, after all. After packing up, she headed to the front desk and signed out. Climbing into her car, she checked her phone for the address one last time before pulling out of the spot and onto the roads.

She pulled up to the curb outside a small apartment complex. She got out of her car, locking it and entering the building. She headed up two flights of stairs and headed to the apartment listed as the Dan and Phil home.

"Please stop!" she heard someone shout from inside.

"Oh please, you're loving this, don't lie to yourself," another, rougher voice answered. Shouting continued back and forth, one voice begging and another of arrogance and annoyance. Lela felt a pit in her stomach grow and knew immediately that there must be something wrong inside. She hadn't known Dan and Phil for that long, but it was clear they were in love and from the gentleness that they showed each other, she knew this argument wasn't one of half-hearted heat. Not only that, she knew Dan’s second captor was still out of custody.

Not wanting to take any risks, she quickly walked down the stairs and dialled emergency services.

"Nine-nine-nine, what's your emergency?"

"Police."

"Please hold one moment." Lela waited for her call to get forwarded over to the closest police station. They picked up and asked her immediately what was going on. She told him the address of the apartment and explained that she believed they may be in danger considering the second captor still not being found. They were quick to respond, already being familiar with Dan and Phil's case.

Not even five minutes later, two police cars had arrived, three fully armed police officers coming out of each car. One walked over to her and began questioning what she knew of the situation. The other five, guns loaded and aimed at the ground, headed into the building. Officer Mark, as he introduced himself as, took notes on what Lela answered.

~~~~

Dan growled at Sir as he entered the room. He hated calling him that, the title was one of importance, but he had no idea what else to call him.

"Hello, Dearies," he said, voice sultry. Dan cringed, knowing exactly what was to come. He marched over to Dan, a blood-spotted bandage on his neck from the day before.

"Now, let's have some fun, shall we?" He grabbed Dan's hips, forcing him onto his hands and knees. After pulling his dick free, he pumped it a few times and forcefully pushed his hips against Dan's.

"Please stop!" Phil begged, knowing it was somehow worse when Dan was big and knew exactly what was happening.

"Oh please, you're loving this, don't lie to yourself," he retorted, winking at Phil before moaning obscenely.

Phil continued to sit helplessly as he watched the love of his life being tortured.

"Police! Open up!" a voice shouted from outside the building. Sir had left again after using Dan and getting Phil to scribble another word into his leg (they'd run out of room on his stomach). Dan and Phil looked at each other, not sure if to let the hope kindling in their chest burst into a flame.

"Oh, finally you've arrived. I got the message and was only a street away. I know it was dumb to go in alone, but I didn't want to risk them being hurt anymore," they heard Sir say, all of the malice he had shown Dan and Phil gone.

"Find anything?"

"Nope. I'm guessing the guy ran. Don't know how he knew but something must have tipped him off."

"Ok, well, we'll do a thorough search, just to make sure he's not hiding anywhere. Did you find the victims?"

"Bedroom," he answered. Phil gulped, knowing he'd need to make a decision. Either stay quiet and risk his safety and Dan's, or tell the police and risk their lives. Only Dan and Phil knew Sir had a gun. He'd threatened to kill them multiple times if they'd fought back or even thought of telling someone (if) rescue happened. But would Sir shoot at other police officers?

Phil listened as the officers worked their way around their flat. Dan had his head rested on Phil's shoulder, exhausted after everything that had happened.

"Dan, come on Dan, time to wake up now." He gently shook Dan, the younger man stirring and blinking his eyes open. He attempted to curl in on himself a little more but winced and checked his stomach, eyes saddening at the words scratched there.

"Hey, it's okay. You know they're not true, don't you, Love?" Phil said gently, feeling his heart wince at the thought of Dan struggling with whether the words on his skin were true or not.

"Yeah, whatever," Dan mumbled, pressing his lips to the juncture between Phil's neck and shoulder before settling his head there. Phil simply sighed, rubbing his hand up and down Dan's arm and pulling him closer to him.

The door opened and Dan tensed against Phil, still unaware that the police were in the flat and that Sir would be absolutely insane to try anything.

"Oh, god, what has he done to you?" an officer sighed, rubbing his face as he walked over to the two of them. "Okay, are either of you hurt?"

"Dan, he's been through the most," Phil croaked, his throat feeling scratchy and jagged like glass.

"Okay, we'll get you both to the hospital. Do you know who the perpetrator is or where he is?" the officer asked, bending down to look closer at the injuries on their bodies. Phil's mind chaotically flipped through the options: tell or don't tell. He settled on one, if not for Dan's safety. And with him out there, neither of them would ever be able to turn their backs.

"The-the officer. He was watching the flat before attacking us," Phil said, his voice cracking with emotion.

"The… you mean Officer Kide? Oh fuck," the officer muttered to himself as he fully understood the situation. He ran from the room, pulling his gun back out from his holster. Dan and Phil heard shouting from the lounge as he explained the situation. Not even ten minutes later, medics were hoisting them both onto stretchers and into ambulances. Phil fought back, demanding to stay with Dan, until he was sedated, promises that Dan would be safe ricocheting around his head.


	16. Chapter 16

The first thing Dan noticed as he woke up was that there was pain everywhere. Groaning, he unsuccessfully tried to open his eyes. He brought his hands up to his eye and wiped at them before them open. The room slowly came into focus, the light bright and bouncing off the white walls. It took him several moments to realize he was in the hospital.

Once he had fully come to his senses, he tensed up and started trying to get out of bed. Where was Phil? He had to find Phil, even if his weak body kept protesting. As he was attempting to get out of bed his door opened. A brunette women stuck her head in, "Dear, you're up!" she said brightly. Her smile faded when she saw he was trying to get out of bed. "Hey, you can't do that! Stop!" She rushed over, sitting him back in the bed.

"Where's Phil?" he asked, trying to stay calm. His voice was raspy.

"Phil, Dear? I don't know who you're talking about."

"My boyfriend! Where is he? Is he alright?"

She gave him a look.

"Why don't you stay here, Dear, and I will go get the doctor."

He nodded, already exhausted, and leaned back into the bed.

It was several more minutes before an older looking man stepped into the room.

"Hi, Dan. I can't say I'm happy to see you again." He held out his hand for Dan to shake.

"What do you mean again? What is going on? Where is my boyfriend, Phil?"

"Calm down, I will answer all your questions," he said in an attempt to calm his panicking patient.

"You were here for several days a few weeks ago, don't you remember?"

Dan shook his head.

"Well, you were, I could even show you the medical records of it, and you had some pretty severe injuries, so severe in fact that you had to have surgery on your leg, here," he said, lightly touching Dan’s blanketed leg. "Luckily you didn't damage it anymore this time around and we were able to transfer your foot into a boot. As for your boyfriend, he was brought in and placed in another room, but now that you're awake, would you like to be transferred to the same room?"

Dan violently nodded his head. "Since his injuries are less severe than your's, we will bring him up here."

"Thank you," he whispered meekly, relief washing over him. Phil would be with him soon and everything would be okay. 

Several minutes later a nurse opened the door, wheeling a bed-bound Phil into the room. Dan's heart stuttered in his chest.

"Phil, oh my god, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, I'm just glad to see you're awake and doing well," he smiled at Dan. He looked weak and tired.

The nurse rolled the bed into place next to Dan's. "I'll be back in a little bit to check on you two, ok?" she smiled sweetly.

They both nodded their head, not wanting to take their eyes off each other.

~~~~

The two were currently cuddled together in Dan's bed, just enjoying the comfort of the other's touch and being with each other.

"I can't believe it's finally over," Phil whispered as he kissed his head.

Dan just snuggled closer, burying his head in the crook of his neck and placing a chaste kiss on the skin he found there.

Still being extremely exhausted, mentally and physically, both of them eventually fell asleep in each other's arms.

Dan yawned as he woke up, smiling when felt Phil's very warm body next to him.

"Phil?" he whispered.

Phil didn't respond.

"Phil?" he said slightly louder, thinking how Phil must still be sleeping. But Phil didn't yawn and blink awake like he normally would.

He frowned, "Phil!" he shouted, shaking his shoulders.

Still no answer. Dan started freaking out as the worst possible scenario easily jumped to the front of his mind.

"Help! Somebody help us!"

He was full-on sobbing by the time the nurses came running into the room. They took one look at Phil and set to work putting him back in his bed and rolling him out of the room.

"Wait, where are you taking him?" he cried, tears and snot running down his face. He had only just gotten Phil back, how could they take him away? 

He attempted to get out of bed to follow, but one of the nurses pushed him back. She tried consoling him but he was too far gone with worry to respond. Before he even knew it, the nurse slipped a needle into his arm and he fell back into a dreamless sleep.

The next day was a whirlwind for Dan. He still hadn't seen Phil since they rushed him away, but they did tell him that the infection in Phil's hand and taken a turn for the worse, so they had him on a heavy dose of antibiotics. He had begged several times to be taken to see him, but they kept telling him that Phil's immune system wasn't stable and any virus or bacteria could potentially threaten his life, so they weren't letting anyone visit him.

On the second day in the hospital alone without Phil, they told him that he was being forcefully committed to the psychiatric unit of the hospital. He had tried protesting, but they were very insistent that since Phil was unable to take care of him, he wouldn't be able to go home.

"Ok Dan, here you go, you will be rooming with Eric here." The nurse motioned to the skinny looking brunette sitting on one of the beds in the room.

The boy meekly waved at him. "Eric here will show you around and get you situated, isn't that right Eric?"

The boy nodded, looking anywhere but at Dan and the nurse.

"Ok well, I will leave you boys to get acquainted. Dinner is in an hour!" she smiled brightly as she left the room.

Dan set his bag down on the empty bed. He rubbed his neck and looked around his new 'home'.

"So, you're Dan, huh?" Eric grinned at him. He appeared visibly more energetic now that they were alone.

"Yup that's me."

"Well, I'm Eric Whittaker and guess you will be sharing this hell hole with me for a while, huh?"

"Um yeah, I guess so."

"Well come on then, I'll show you around this prison," he chuckled.

During the tour, Eric showed him the rec room where, if they got enough points, they were allowed to do recreational exercise (apparently that was a thing). He also showed him the cafeteria area and the 'common room', as the patients called it. It was the space patients could hang out and relax in when they were not in therapy, different from the rec room which was solely for activities.

Before dinner, they passed around meds. On top of his newly prescribed antidepressants, the doctors had him on some opioids for his leg and the dozens of still-healing wounds that were scattered all over his body.

To say the food looked awful would be an understatement. He cringed at the slop on his tray that they said was lasagna. He wished he was home right now eating pizza and cuddling with Phil on the couch.

He glanced around, looking for a place to sit when his eyes fell on Eric. Dan walked over and set his tray down.

"Is it alright if I sit here?"

Eric didn't even look up from his tray as he answered, "Yeah sure, whatever."

Dan noted that he wasn't the same energetic and talkative person he had met earlier. Dan hadn't had anything since breakfast, so he dug right into his gross-looking dinner. To Dan's surprise, it didn't taste nearly as bad as it looked.

Dan was so consumed with eating his food he almost didn't notice Eric not eating his. But he did, and he also noticed when Eric shoved most of his food into his napkin. He quickly hid the napkin in his pocket and got up to dispose of his tray.

"What are you doing?" Dan hissed at him. Dan wasn't stupid; he knew how places like this worked.

He flinched at Dan's question. "None of your fucking business. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to leave," he hissed back at him.

Startled, Dan didn't say anything as Eric swiftly walked off, showing his tray to the nurse to prove he had 'eaten' his meal before he made his way off towards the rooms.

Dan sat alone, eating his meal, but suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore. He sighed and threw his fork down and emptied his tray; he didn't have to show the nurse his plate.

He made his way to the common room, not wanting to go back to his room and have to deal with Eric yet. The common room was empty aside from a nurse and a small blonde who was sitting in the corner, reading a book. He walked to the other side of the room, making sure to avoid eye contact with the girl. He sat down, picking up his own book in the process.

He really couldn't concentrate. All he could think about was Phil and if he was ok. The doctors had told him before they made him come down here that Phil was doing better, but was not yet awake.

He adjusted himself on the couch, wincing slightly at the pain that shot threw his abdomen. He turned his attention back to the book, hoping to get his mind off things.

It wasn't long before he felt the couch dip next to him. "That's a good one."

He jumped at the unexpected voice. "What?"

"The book, it's a good one." The blonde he had noticed earlier motioned to the book in his hands.

"Oh uh, yeah, it's ok I guess," he said, turning his back slightly and returning to the book in hopes she would leave him alone. He didn't really want to engage in any conversations right now. He was overwhelmed as is.

"Why aren't you at dinner?" she asked quizzically.

Sighing he closed the book; apparently he wasn't getting out of talking to this girl.

"I wasn't hungry."

"Oh you better be careful of that, they are pretty strict around here with eating all your meals."

"I'm not in here for that," he said, maybe a bit too harshly.

But the girl didn't flinch. "Oh, ok then. I'm Kate by the way," she told him.

He had to give this girl credit, she didn't give up even when he was giving her all the signs he knew of that he wanted to be left alone.

"I'm Dan," he sighed.

"Well, hi Dan, it's nice to meet you!" she said excitedly.

They talked for a little while longer and the more they talked the more Dan found that he liked her. He found out that they had similar tastes in music and video games.

The room started filling with people who had finished their dinner, so Dan bid Kate goodbye before heading back to his room. He didn't feel like being with Eric right now, but he wanted even less to be in a room full of people.

He hobbled (the boot making it difficult to walk normally) into his room, hoping maybe Eric wasn't there, but he was immediately disappointed when he saw him sitting on his bed. Admitting defeat, he walked in and sat down on his own bed. The room was silent for a few minutes before Eric cleared his throat.

"Listen, man, I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to be short with you. It's just- this place, ya know, has my nerves on edge," he rambled, clearly not sure what to say but apologetic nonetheless. 

"It's fine, you were right, it wasn't any of my business."

Eric looked clearly relieved. "Oh great. So, friends again?" he smiled, clearly hopeful.

"Sure, friends," Dan answered. He laid down on his bed and turned away from Eric, hoping for sleep to take him quickly.

~~~~

When Phil opened his eyes, he noticed he was alone. He frowned; he could have sworn he had fallen asleep in Dan's bed last night. He looked around and found the call button to get the attention of the nurse. When he reached for it with his hand, that was when he noticed it was wrapped up, and a sudden pain shot all the way up his arm when he tried to move it. Using his non-injured hand, he pressed the button and called the nurse.

It didn't take long before one popped her head into his room. "Is there something I can get you, hun?"

"Um, yeah can you tell me where my boyfriend is?" Phil asked, his voice sounding raspy to his own ears. The lady looked confused. “Dan Howell?” he prompted.

"Oh! You don't know? He was transferred to the physic ward two days ago."

Wait, what? He was just with Dan the night before!

The nurse called for a doctor who came in and explained that the infection in his hand had gotten worse and that he had been unconscious for the last two days. He was upset that they had committed Dan to the psychiatric ward. He’d been friends with Dan for almost ten years, and if he knew one thing about him, it was that he wouldn't be happy being in a psychiatric ward. So, his first priority was to get well enough to get to see Dan and get them both out of here and back home where they belonged.


	17. Chapter 17

When Dan had first got to the psychiatric ward, he was miserable and he hated it. But after the first couple of days, he realized maybe it wasn't so bad. Every day was the same, yes, but after everything he had been through, the routine was nice.

6:00 a.m. Wake up

7:00 a.m. Breakfast

7:30 a.m. Shower

8:00 a.m. Downtime (when nurses tended to his wounds)

9:00 a.m. Group therapy

12:00 p.m. Lunch

1:00 p.m. Downtime

2:00 p.m. Individual therapy

4:00 p.m. Group therapy

6:00 p.m. Dinner

7:30 p.m. Downtime (when his wounds were tended to again)

10:00 p.m. Lights Out

To some people, this might sound boring, but to Dan it was the normalcy he needed in his life at that point.

On the third day, he found out Phil had woken up but when he asked to see him he was told Phil would be in the hospital for the next few days, as well as the fact that Dan had to earn visitation privileges.

He spent his downtime with Eric and Kate. He had actually grown to become really good friends with the two of them. When he had let it slip he was a Youtuber neither of them looked at him any different than before. They did, however, make jokes and thinly veiled innuendos about him making videos in his bedroom. It was the first time he had laughed since everything had happened.

He never talked during group therapy. He wasn't ready to talk about what had happened in front of people yet. But during group therapy, he had learned the reasons why Eric and Kate were in the psych ward.

Eric had grown up with this alcoholic father, his mother having died during his birth. His dad would beat him daily and starve him, telling him he was "a stupid fag" and that it was his fault is mother was dead. The only reason he was even in the hospital was because he had passed out one day while at work. They had called an ambulance and once he was admitted to the ER he was diagnosed with anorexia. Later, in therapy, he had also learned he had PTSD and body dysmorphia. He had been in the psychiatric ward for five months.

Kate had been here less time, only two months, but her story couldn't have been any more different to Eric's. She had grown up in the perfect family. Her parents were rich and always spending money on her so she could succeed in everything she did. But the pressure from her family to be perfect had been too much to handle and she had begun self-harming at eleven. She had been top of her class in high school and had been accepted into one of the top schools in England. But during her first year of college, finally being free from her parents, she started partying and doing drugs. She had wound up in here after a four-day long bender. She had overdosed on some drug she couldn't remember and when the ER saw her fresh self-harm cuts, they admitted her instantly.

Although he didn't speak during group therapy, he did start talking in his individual therapy sessions. He was working with Lela, who had apparently been his therapist before Dan had been admitted to the hospital. He was told that when he’d seen her before he had been stuck in little space. In fact, most of his time while kidnapped, and in little space once he returned home, was mostly a blur. He could remember bits and pieces, and of course, and he could remember the stuff that occurred the last few days after he had been able to regress out of little space, but that was it.

There was a large part of him that was glad that he couldn't remember.

"So, Dan, how are you feeling today?" Lela smiled brightly at him.

"I'm fine, I guess," he shrugged his shoulders.

"I hear you have yet to open up in group therapy. Can I ask why?"

Dan fidgeted in his seat, "I don't know." He cast his eyes down to the floor, avoiding her gaze.

"There is nothing to be ashamed of Dan. But if you want to start getting better, then you going to have to start opening up. Keeping everything inside only ends up hurting you, in the end."

Looking back up, he noticed her concerned smile. She hadn't pushed him so hard the last couple of sessions, and he wondered why she was pushing the topic so hard now.

"I'm just not ready. I mean, I don't even remember much other than the last few days."

He was getting frustrated; he was here, wasn't he? He was trying to get better. So what if he didn't want to talk in front of a bunch of people.

Lela sighed. "Dan, I shouldn't be telling you this, but you're really close to having enough points to allow visitors. I know Phil has just been released, and he really wants to visit you."

His head shot up and the mention of Phil. "Really? Phil can come to visit me?" His heart hurt at the news; he hadn't seen him in over a week and the last time he did, Phil had been rushed out of the room, unresponsive.

"Yes but you have to start opening up in group therapy as well as here with me- "

Dan cut her off, "I promise I'll start sharing, can I please see Phil?" His eyes shone with a hope Lela had never seen in him before.

She took a minute to answer but eventually, she said, "Alright. I really shouldn't be doing this, but if you promise me you're going to start sharing and working harder, I will approve your visitation with Phil."

"Thank you so much!" He nearly jumped out of his chair with excitement, a grin wide on his face, dimples in full effect.

The rest of the session was spent on an exercise designed to bring his memory back. He wasn't so sure he wanted to remember, but he would do anything to see Phil.

~~~~

When Dan left her office, Lela sank down and put her head in her hands. This was a lot more difficult than she thought it would be. She had grown quite attached to Dan during their sessions when he was a little, and that attachment had only gotten stronger the more they worked together.

The hospital board debated whether she should continue to treat Dan after she was the one to find him and Phil. They tried getting her to take some time off, claiming she was too close to the situation, but she had insisted that she should be the only one to treat Dan. The board wasn't happy, but they approved her to continue his treatment.

She had been there when the rescue and ambulance team had wheeled the boys out of their apartment. She had never seen anything like it in her twenty years of work. The words that had littered Dan's body were vulgar and disgusting. Dan was hesitant to talk about them and she didn't understand why that, in particular, was a tough subject for him. He had already started to open up about the rape, but he would not talk about the words. She didn't try to push him too hard too fast though, as she was afraid he may slip back into his little space. As such, she refrained from asking too many questions. After last time, when he had regressed for weeks, it would not be a good idea and if it did happen, his progress would be hindered significantly.

Lela felt her hands were wet; she hadn't even realized she had been crying. Maybe she should have taken a few days off like the board suggested. But she knew she had to be there for Dan. No matter what she was feeling right now, she had to focus on him. Not only was he her patient, but he was her friend.

~~~~

Phil was standing in the doorway of their apartment, or what was once their apartment. The police had completely ransacked the entire place, leaving nothing unturned as they looked for evidence. He began to shake as he entered the apartment. He stopped halfway into the kitchen. He couldn't do this, he couldn't be here after what happened, and what about Dan? He isn't going to want to be here when he comes home either. Making a decision, he grabbed his wallet off the kitchen counter and got out of there as fast as he could.

He ended up getting a hotel room. It was nothing fancy but it was a place they could both be comfortable until they decided what they were going to do. His parents had ended up going to get a few things from the apartment for him. Just the essentials, really. A few changes of clothes, both his and Dan's laptops and phones, a few other things. He felt bad making his parents do it even though they insisted that they didn't mind. He just couldn't face that place, not yet.

His parents were staying in the same hotel, and he was supposed to meet them downstairs for dinner ten minutes ago, but he had been held up on the phone with Dan's parents. They refused to come down and see him; they were still mad about what happened last time they had been there. Phil couldn't understand how they could let that stand in the way of seeing their own son. He nearly died, not once but twice, and all they could think about was their own pride.

When Phil had started telling them this, they had rudely hung up on him. He threw his phone down on the bed. He was more than just a little bit angry, he was outraged. But he would have to worry about that later, because he was now fifteen minutes late for dinner. That night, he made sure he told both his parents how much he loved and appreciated them. 

~~~~

It was Saturday, finally the day Phil was coming to visit. He had been so nervous and excited he hadn't slept all night.

"Will you stop pacing? You're driving me crazy," Eric whined from his side of the room.

"I can't help it, Phil is coming today."

"Really, he is? I didn't know. It's not like it's the only thing you've been talking about for the past two days," he teased.

"Oh shut up," Dan said, maybe a bit too harshly, but Eric didn't seem affected.

"So, do I get to meet this amazing Phil?" He chuckled at his own joke. Dan just rolled his eyes.

The nurse on duty stuck her head in the door. "Daniel, your visitor is here."

He took a deep breath and followed her out of the room.

~~~~

Phil was beyond excited when he had gotten the phone telling him he could finally see Dan. He couldn't believe it! His parents had wanted to come too, but Dan was only allowed one visitor, so they stayed behind at the hotel.

Phil was sat in a cramped room that had nothing but a table and two chairs. There was barely even enough room to move. He tapped his fingers on the table; he was starting to feel claustrophobic in the tiny room, but he instantly forgot all about that the moment the door opened.

Dan stood in front of him. He was looking a lot better than the last time he had seen him. The bruises on his face were almost entirely healed and he had a boot on his foot instead of having to be in a wheelchair. He was wearing pants and a long sleeve shirt so Phil wasn't able to see his stomach but he was sort of glad he couldn't. His own stomach turned at the thought that he had been the one to carve the vile things into and all over Dan.

"Phil," Dan whispered, bringing him out of his thoughts. The moment their eyes met Dan flung himself into Phil's arms. The two giants, sitting on the floor of this tiny room, clinging on to each other like their lives depended on it, crying their eyes out, were reunited at last.

Eventually, their sobs stopped and they just sat, holding each other. It was Phil who spoke first. "God, am I happy to see you."

"I'm happy to see you too, Phil," Dan sighed and pulled Phil closer, burying his head in the crook of his neck.

They didn't talk much, but what they did talk about strictly avoided anything that had happened. Instead, Phil told him how his family was doing and how they hoped to visit him soon. He didn't say anything about the apartment, but he did mention that he was staying in a hotel at the moment. They both knew why and they both knew that topic was out of bounds. Dan talked about Eric and Kate, telling him some funny stories about them. Phil told him he was happy that Dan had made some friends.

They eventually moved off of the floor and sat across the table from each other, but had their hands stretched across it so they could still be touching.

"Dan, I talked to one of the doctors here and they said you could leave anytime you want, so I was thinking...how about we get you out of here?" he looked at Dan hopefully.

He had expected Dan to be elated and happy, not upset (which is what he did look like). "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Phil I-," he sighed, "I don't think I want to leave," he pulled his hand away from Phil's and set them in front of himself.

"What do you mean you don't want to leave?" Phil asked him, confused.

Dan was silent a moment before he answered. "I don't think I'm ready to leave yet, Phil. I'm not ready to face everything. Please don't be mad at me," he pleaded.

Of course, Phil wasn't mad at him, he could never be mad at him. Dan even made a good point. Phil had been avoiding everything since he was discharged from the hospital. Dodging the press and not even having the courage to open social media, leaving his friends to deal with everything. He didn't want Dan to have to deal with that as well.

Phil was pulled out of his thoughts by a whimper. He looked over and saw Dan crying. He rushed over and wrapped his arms around Dan, all of his thoughts flying from his mind. "Hey, hey, it's ok. It's going to be ok. I'm not mad at you." He wrapped his arm tighter around Dan's shoulders.

"You're not mad, you promise?" he sniffled into Phil's shirt.

It broke his heart that Dan thought he would be mad at him. He rubbed Dan's back. "Hey, I promise, alright, Love?"

They didn't have much time after that since Dan only got an hour for a visit, but they spent the rest of the time cuddling and just talking. Once it was time to say goodbye, neither of them wanted to be the first one to let go.

"You promise you'll come back next week right?"

Phil chuckled, "I promise, Love."

It was Phil who pulled away first; both of them had tears in their eyes again. "I love you, alright?"

"I love you too, Phil," he said before finally turning around and leaving the room, heart heavy at having to walk away from the man he loved.

Phil sat back down at the table and just cried.

~~~~

Dan was so emotionally exhausted when he got to his room that he decided to take a nap. He was awoken a few hours later by Eric.

"Hey, sleepyhead, how did visitation go?"

He blinked a few times before he sat up, still tired. "What?"

"I asked how your visitation went," he chuckled.

Dan filled Eric in on his visit and before he knew it, it was time for the last group therapy session for the day.

They were walking to the common room together when he was stopped by Lela.

"Hi, Dan! I hear you had your visitation today with Phil, how did it go?"

"It was good! Thank you so much for approving it!"

She smiled, "That's good. I'm glad it went well." She paused for a moment before continuing, "So, on your way to group therapy then?"

"Yep," he smiled at her.

"You know, you have another visitation next week, it would look really good if you started opening up in group therapy now. I could approve you without any worries."

"What do you mean?" Dan asked, confused.

"Oh it's nothing, but there have been talks of bringing in another doctor. They're afraid I might be too close to you and the, ah, situation."

She gave him a smile and bid him farewell, telling him to get a move on to therapy.

He was quiet during therapy, and when it came to his time to talk he froze up.

"I don't know if I can do this," he whispered, breath catching in his throat.

Kate grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. "Just do what you can, ok?"

He nodded, incredibly nervous. He started to explain how he had been kidnapped, or at least what he remembered of it.

"Ok Dan, that's a good start. But can you tell us why you got in the van with them?"

He didn't want to tell them he was a little. He didn't want to admit that he had been stupid and naive enough to trust strangers. With the promise of a puppy at that, I mean, that was the oldest trick in the book and he had bought it.

"I will- um, sometimes I will- uh, so sometimes-"

He didn't even feel himself slip, too concerned with how everyone would react to his words. His lip quivered and his eyes began to water. "I want my daddy," he cried. "Where my daddy?" His bottom lip trembled, tears spilling down his face now.

The room was crazy with everyone talking over each other trying to figure out what was going on with him. No one had bothered to inform the attending doctor that Dan could regress, so she wasn't quite sure what to do. She tried to calm the rest of the patients while also trying to calm Dan down, who was now sitting on the floor sobbing, repeating "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy" over and over. She pressed the call button on the wall, overwhelmed with the situation and needing extra support.

"Get Daniel Howell's therapist down here now!"


	18. Chapter 18

Lela came running at the words Dr Childs shouted over the comms device. Nurses and other doctors looked at her, confused and concerned for her patient, as she ran through the halls, strands of hair falling out of her tightly arranged bun.

"Dan," she sighed, seeing said boy collapsed on the floor, mumbling words to himself. Stepping closer, she deciphered the sobbed mumble as a cry for ‘daddy'. "Julia, get someone to call Philip Lester, he needs to get here now," she ordered, crouching in front of Dan.

"But visitation-"

"Fuck the bloody visitation hours!" she shouted, causing Dan to whimper. "I'm sorry," she whispered to him before turning back to the other psychologist in the room. "Seriously, this is only going to get worse if he doesn't get here soon." Julia nodded, realising Lela knew the situation a lot better than she did.

"Everyone else, back to your rooms!" she yelled, voice clear above all the panicking and talking.

Everyone fled from the room, wanting to get away from the panicking boy. Eric and Kate remained though, and when Lela said they needed to leave, they blatantly refused. Eric explained that they were his friends and may be of some help until Phil arrived.

Lela simply nodded, turning back to Dan so she could try to catch his eyes to get his attention. "Danny, your daddy's on his way, okay? He'll be here soon," she murmured quietly, the room no longer filled with shouts of confusion.

"I want daddy, why isn't daddy here? Does he not love me anymore? He said I was good, it hurt but he said I was good. Why he leave me?!" Dan cried, eyes wide as they looked around the room, searching for his daddy.

"No, of course, he loves you, Sweetie. He's on his way right now. He's coming, Love, okay?"

A nurse ran into the room panting. "Phil's on his way, but he won't be here for a good twenty-thirty minutes. What should we do? It's your call," he said.

"Danny?" she called. If he was responsive, she'd be able to convince them not to sedate him. He looked at her, eyes wide and filled with a sort of hope.

"Is daddy he-" he started to ask, stopping as his eyes landed on the nurse standing warily by the door, awaiting orders. "Sir," he sobbed. "No, no please no more. Hurts, Le-la, h-help, S-Sir's b-b-back. D-Don't let h-him h-urt Dad-dy," he begged, crawling to hide behind Lela.

"Get out now!" she shouted at the nurse who looked guilty before quickly rushing from the room.

"It's ok, Danny. He's gone. He won't hurt you or your daddy, okay? I promise I'll keep you safe until your daddy gets here." Dan jumped on her, wrapping his arms tight around her neck and pushing his head just under her chin. Lela responded by placing her arms around him tightly. Eric had run from the room at some point without her noticing, but she didn't care. Kate watched on with worried eyes.

"Can I?" she asked, reaching out towards him, but not touching. Lela contemplated the possible outcomes for a quick second before nodding. She watched as Kate placed her hand on Dan's back, rubbing up and down. "It's okay, Danny. Eric's gone to get Pooh-Bear, Do you want to see him?" she asked.  _ So that's where Eric had gone,  _ Lela thought.

"Them!" he shout-sobbed. Kate and Lela were both confused but didn't question it.

"Do you want to see… them?" she asked again.

"Daddy says Pooh-Bear will protect me when Daddy can't," he explained through tears.

Eric ran in seconds later, waving around the stuffed toy and smiling.

"No! Stop!" Dan screeched, pulling from Lela's grip and running to Eric, grabbing Pooh-Bear and cradling them close to his chest. "I've got you little bear," Dan mumbled, quoting what Phil had said to him multiple times while he was crying. "How could you?!" Dan suddenly shouted, sounding more like big Dan than little.

Lela watched from her seat on the ground as Dan gently placed the teddy in one of the beanbags before jumping on Eric. At first, she thought he'd hug him like he'd done to her but a screech from Eric told her that was not the case. Kate and her both ran forward, pulling Dan off the now-bleeding boy. Once Lela had him restrained, Kate helped Eric out of the room, Dan kicking and screaming and crying for his daddy all the while.

Once Eric had left the room, she let him go, only for him to immediately run to his teddy, crouching in front of it and apologising, saying he was a bad little for his daddy. Lela watched, not really knowing what to do. He was sedated, for the most part, just sitting on the floor, crying with his teddy in his arms and a thumb in between his lips.

She walked over, kneeling beside him but not touching. His eyes were closed and he seemed quite blissful, as if he didn't just attack his friend and roommate. Eventually, the boy collapsed to the side, landing on the beanbag. Lela realised quickly that he'd fallen asleep, likely having tired himself out with all the crying.

~~~~

When Dan woke up, he felt himself nestled in someone else's arms. He quickly realised it was his daddy as he breathed in his sent. Curling into Phil, he mumbled a quiet "daddy" as he put his thumb back into his mouth.

"Hi, Danny. Hands are dirty, remember?" Phil said, pulling Dan's hand from his mouth and pushing a paci into its place.

"Daddy, did I do bad?" he asked near silently, eyes downcast to avoid Phil's eyes. His daddy wasn't having it though as he hooked a finger under Dan's chin and tilted his head towards him.

"No, Danny. You were scared and didn't know what you were doing."

"Ok, Daddy, I love you."

"I love you too, baby boy. Now go back to sleep, I'll be here when you wake up."

~~~~

When Dan blinked his eyes open, he was still in his daddy's arms. Phil cuddled him close, never loosening his grip even once Dan was sound asleep.

"Morning Daddy," Dan mumbled, snuggling further into Phil's embrace.

"Hi, Love. It's evening, actually. You had a really long nap and I didn't want to disturb you."

"Tank you, Daddy. Is it time for dinnies?" he asked, skooching to slide off Phil's lap.

"In about ten minutes. Listen, little love, I can't stay much longer. Is there someone I can get to stay with you and look after you?" Phil explained, conscious of Lela's warning.

"But- you promised not to leave me!" Dan cried.

"I'm not, I'll come back. Love, I can't be with you all the time right now, and I promise no one will hurt you. Do you wanna see Lela? Remember her, my friend I took you to see?"

"I like her, she was nice. Can she be my mummy?" Dan asked, eyes wide with a small smile on his lips.

"You'll have to ask her, Sweets," he answered, not having the heart to explain that Lela was his psychologist and nothing more. Phil led Dan from his room, wandering through the halls until they found Dr Miller's office. Knocking, Phil swung open the door after hearing ‘come in' from the other side.

"Hello Lela, how are you?" Phil asked politely.

"Alright, how are you and Dan?" she returned, eyes trailing to the grown man with a paci between his lips and a teddy bear in his arm.

"I'm alright, I've got to get going though. Someone needs to look after Dan. He's incredibly sensitive in this mindset and he needs someone to care for him and make sure he's a good boy."

The last two words rang in Dan's ears.  _ Good boy. Good boy. Good boy. _ Tears sprang to his eyes as he looked around frantically. He grabbed the scissors out of Lela's stationary pot and held them out for Phil.

"I'm sorry Daddy, I'm sorry. I'll be good, I promise." Phil, confused, took the scissors to prevent Dan from hurting himself, not that he seemed to be trying. Once the blades were out of his hand, he began peeling his shirt and lowering his pants a little so his stomach was bare. This was the first time Lela had seen the scars on his chest and stomach and she almost threw up at the sight.

"Spot here," he said, pointing to a clear space on his skin, in between the words ‘whore' and ‘good fuck'.

When Phil stood still, confusion covering his face, Dan whimpered and lightly grabbed Phil's hand, opening the scissors and placing the blade against the skin there. "I'm sorry, Daddy, I didn't mean to," he mumbled. Phil had no idea what he was apologising for, but he quickly ripped his hand away to protect Dan from any more harm.

He looked up at Phil, clearly confused with tears clouding his vision, and begged Phil to punish him. Phil dropped the scissors, hand covering his mouth as he ran from the room, his skin tinted green.

"M-m-mum-my," Dan sobbed, crawling over to Lela and latching onto her. "D-Dad-dy s-said I was good, why-why it not h-hurt?" he asked through his tears. She calmed him down as best she could, ignoring Dan referring to her as his mummy. Once Dan was calm, she took him to the canteen for dinner and left him with Eric and Kate.

Walking back into her office, she dialled the number of the police station. She didn't believe Phil could ever hurt Dan on purpose, but she had policies to follow and from what she'd just seen, Dan clearly expected Phil to hurt him. She explained the situation, giving the police the address of the hotel he was staying at and telling them to call her back and let her know what happens.


	19. Chapter 19

Phil unlocked his hotel room door, sighing as he chucked his bag on the ground and toed off his shoes. His mind was racing over everything that had taken place. Dan was little again after stressing himself too much about telling everyone he was a little, that much he knew. He'd had a five-hour nap, Phil cuddling him the entire time. Nurses kept coming in, asking for updates. The answer was always the same: "He's still sleeping."

"What happened?" his mother asked, letting herself in through the door. He'd given them the spare key so they'd be able to get in whenever they needed. Phil had also called them in the car, telling them there was an emergency regarding Dan—he hadn't known what was happening at the time.

"He slipped into little space. He was panicking 'cause I wasn't there."

"Is he okay now?" Phil's dad asked, taking a seat on the mildly comfortable sofa in the room.

"As good as he can be. He didn't want me to leave, but I had too." Before either of his parents could continue the conversation, there was a knock at the door.

Assuming it was the room service he'd ordered, he pulled open the door, a 'hello' in his lips. He never actually spoke though, stood completely still as two police officers jumped on him, cuffing his hands behind his back as soon as his body hit the ground.

"What on Earth is going on here?" his mother screamed, demanding answers as to why her son was lying on the ground, a police officer's knee pressed into his back.

"We need to bring Mr Lester back to the station. We've been given intel that he may be involved in Mr Howell's kidnapping," the officer explained. "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in court," the officer said before roughly pulling Phil to his feet.

"Are you bloody kidding me?!" his mother shouted, and for her to swear was a very rare occurrence. She must have really been pissed. "My son loves Dan and would never do anything to hurt him. Who the  _ fuck  _ said he's involved?"

"That is none of your concern, ma'am," the officer said in reply. Passing Phil off to his partner and turning back to them. "If this goes to court, and I'm pretty sure it will, you may speak for your son."

With that, the officers pulled Phil from the hotel, the man unhappily agreeing. He saw absolutely no point in fighting them even though he knew he was innocent. Besides, he believed quite strongly that things would work out. Dan could testify explaining what happened when he was big again. Everything would be fine.

Phil was roughly shoved in the back of the police car. He panicked as he realised there was no seatbelt, but the officers didn't seem to care, judging by how they were treating him. He supposed he understood. I mean, you'd get fed up with criminals pretty quickly. The only thing was that Phil was completely innocent. Well, as innocent as someone who carved words into his boyfriend could be. He hadn't had control at the time, his limbs moving completely without his will as Sir carved words into his boyfriend's stomach, Phil continuously telling him how good he was as he did so. He didn't want Dan thinking he was naughty when he was the best little in the world.

As Phil tumbled to the other side of the small cabin when the car turned, he suddenly realised what had happened back at the hospital. Phil had said "good boy." Dan must associate those words with the pain of the blade carving into his skin and in his little mind, he didn't understand that Phil never did it of his own free will. Was that the intel they talked about?

"Out you get," the officer grumbled, grabbing Phil's arm and pulling him from the car. They pushed him inside the station, shoving him into one of the holding cells and locking the door behind him. "Someone'll come to get your statement soon." Phil's hands were uncuffed from between the bars and he rubbed his wrists; the metal had cut into them.

~~~~

"Danny, how are you feeling?" Eric asked, trying his best to act as if he was talking to a child. It was weird since Dan stilled looked like an adult—he  _ was  _ an adult.

"I want my daddy," he mumbled around the thumb in his mouth. Remembering how Phil had treated Dan, he pulled it gently from his mouth, ignoring Dan's whine as he pushed a pacifier between his lips. He wasn't used to looking after kids, he himself being the baby of his family.

"Your daddy can't be here at the moment. But Pooh-Bear can look after you, can't they?" he asked, Kate having told him not to refer to the teddy with masculine pronouns. He didn't question it, assuming Dan would explain when he was bigger. For now, he maintained a caring nature as he looked after Dan as best he could. The nurses were trying their best too, but little Dan remembered him and Kate as his friends and had taken to them for support and love.

At first, Eric had refused, stating that Dan needed to just "grow up" and "act his age". He's learnt pretty quickly though that raising his voice only forced Dan more into his so-called 'little space'. After Lela had explained what was happening, he understood Dan had no control over his emotional state.

"Danny, can you come with me, please?" Lela asked, standing in the doorway. It was time for his appointment and even though he was little, he still needed to have them.

"Okay, Mummy!" he shouted, getting up from the bed and waddling over to her. Dan had taken to calling her 'mummy' and she just let him. If that made him feel safer, than so be it. It wasn't hurting anyone.

"So, how have you been going?" she asked, closing the door behind them as Dan ran straight to the toys in the room. Lela had borrowed some from the children's wing, thinking it would help Dan (it had).

"Good, mummy. When's daddy coming back?" he asked, pulling the lego from the box of toys.

"I was hoping you could tell me about that day you and daddy went to the park?" she asked carefully, avoiding Dan's question. The station had called back, telling her Phil was in custody.

Dan looked up from his toys, confused as he'd never been asked directly before. It was always carefully phrased questions to avoid possibly triggering him. He didn't really care though—he had legos to play with.

"Sir said he had a puppy, he's Daddy's friend and daddy said we could get a puppy," Dan explained simply.

"Hasn't your daddy ever told you not to go with strangers?" she continued.

"Yeah, he's a good daddy," he mumbled to himself, seemingly remembering something. "Hey! Where's Daddy!?" he shouted, tears starting to collect in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Danny. Your daddy can't be here right now," she explained cautiously.

"But- But Daddy's always here when Pooh-Bear isn't! You-you're a bad mummy!" he shouted, running from the room.

Nurses found Dan in an abandoned corridor an hour later, tear stains on his flushed cheeks as he mumbled ‘daddy' in his sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

It felt like he had been waiting for an eternity when in reality it was probably only an hour or so. He paced across the holding cell back and forth. This was all a big misunderstanding and he  _ needed  _ to get out of here, but so far no one had come to take his statement.

He groaned in frustration when finally, an officer walked up to the cell.

"Philip Lester?"

He ran up to the bars. "Yes! That's me. You need to listen. This is all a big misunderstanding; I don't deserve to be in here!"

"Whoa, back up!" the officer barked at him.

He took a step back. "But you don't understand! I don't belong here!"

"That's what they all say," the officer laughed. "Now turn around, hands up to the bars."

Phil did what he was asked and was soon being pushed into a small interrogation room. He was pushed into the chair before the chain of his handcuffs was hooked into the small loop on the table. He was alone for only a moment before Officer Temple and another officer stepped into the room.

"Luke, you have to believe me, this is a big mistake," he started, sighing in relief. Luke was nice and understanding, he'd get to the bottom of this

"Who do you think you are? You address officers by their last name," the unnamed officer spat at him.

Phil looked at Luke, who just shook his head in pity.

They interrogated him for hours, and through the whole thing, his story never changed. He stated that he had been forced by his captor to carve words into the skin of Mr Howell. He also was very adamant that he had no involvement in Mr Howell's kidnapping. Honestly, Luke had been at this a very long time and he had no doubt of Phil's innocence, but his partner, on the other hand, seemed dead set that Phil was guilty and needed to be locked away forever.

"So, Anthony what do you think of Phil's statement?" Luke questioned cautiously.

Anthony chuckled, "That fag is guilty as hell. He will fit right along with those other scumbags in prison."

"I don't know. He seemed like he was telling the truth to me."

Anthony glared at him. "Well, it really isn't up to you to decide he is innocent, now is it, Temple?" he jeered at him.

Not wanting to upset his partner any further, he didn't say anything else and merely shook his head.

He escorted Phil back to the holding cell. "Listen, Phil, I believe your story, but there isn't anything I can do. They are charging you for involvement in Dan's kidnapping, torture, and rape. They will send someone to come get you soon to transfer you to jail while you await trial."

He noticed tears in Phils eyes. "Thanks, Luke, it really means a lot that you believe me. Do you think there is any way I can see Dan?"

He shook his head, "I don't think so. Since your being charged with his abuse there is no way they will let you see him before trial. I'm sorry."

He locked Phil back in the cell and headed back to his desk. The little tv in the corner of the holding cell caught his eye.

_ "We've received reports that Youtube star Phil Lester, also known as Amazingphil, was arrested earlier this afternoon for connections to his boyfriend's kidnapping. It is unknown exactly what he is pleading, but some intel suggests he is claiming to be innocent. It seems Lester's presence online is still strong as when the news first broke of Mr Lester's arrest, the hashtag #SetPhilLesterFree began trending on the social media site, Twitter. It is also being reported that some fans have started a Gofundme page in hopes of raising money for bail, although police have said the chances of Mr Lester receiving the option for bail is unlikely." _

Luke shook his head; this was out of control. He had been working on this case since the beginning, and he had never seen anything like it before. Hopefully, when Dan gives his statement at the trial, this mess can be sorted out. But in the meantime, he was going to try his hardest to prove Phil Lester's innocence. 

~~~~

It had been a week since Dan had regressed again, and also a week since Lela had been notified Phil had been arrested. She hated that she had to report him, but with the way Dan had been acting at the last visit, begging to be hurt, she had no choice.

They had been working on getting Dan back to his normal state, but so far all attempts had been futile. He spent most of his time either crying and begging for Phil, or playing with Eric and Kate. Lela smiled, she wasn't either of Eric or Kate's doctors, but she was so proud of them for stepping up and helping Dan in every way they could. They talked to him when he was inconsolable, and they generally tried to make him as happy as he could be.

From what the nurses told her, Dan's scars were healing well, although they did say it might leave some permanent scarring.

While it wasn't easy to talk to Dan in this state, she had officially diagnosed him with major depressive disorder, PTSD, and mental regression. From what she knows, Dan started off as a little and went into his headspace every now and again as a stress reliever. But after he was taken it manifested into full-on (and more importantly, diagnosable) mental regression. Before, while he couldn't necessarily control going into his headspace, he had more control than he did currently. The mental regression was brought on by the trauma he suffered, and he now had no control over it whatsoever.

It broke her heart. After all this time, she had really come to care about him and seeing him like this was distressing.

Lela sighed. And on top of everything, she had just been informed that Phil's trial would be starting soon and Dan would have to testify. There was no way of knowing what he would say or how it would affect Phil's trial, not to mention Dan's mental state.

_ Well, I better go check on Dan _ , she thought. She had been making sure to check on him more often than her other patients because he was prone to sudden outbursts and tantrums.

She found Dan, Eric, and Kate sitting in the common room. Dan was playing with his teddy while Eric and Kate were quietly talking to each other.

"Hey guys, how is everything going?" she asked.

"It's going alright. He hasn't had too much of a bad day today. He only cried once," Kate said.

"That's good." She smiled and turned her attention to Dan, "Hey, how are we doing today, buddy?"

"Fine," he mumbled, hugging Pooh-Bear closer.

"I hear you've done really well today," she smiled at him proudly.

"Mummy, does that mean Daddy gets to come see me now?" he asked, his eyes lighting up with excitement.

Her heart broke. "I'm sorry, Dan, you know that can't happen," she sighed.

"Why!?" he demanded, tears starting to form.

"I told you, your daddy had to go away for a while."

"Because I was bad, isn't it? I'm bad so daddy doesn't love me anymore!" he sobbed into his bear. "Why wouldn't daddy hurt me when I was bad? You cut me, mummy?" he wailed.

Trying to avoid a full-blown meltdown, she used the quietest voice she could. "Dan I'm not going to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you again. You're not bad."

"Yes, I am! Sir told me! He said daddy needed to punish me and now daddy isn't here! Sir said daddy didn't love me anymore!" he whimpered.

Trying to think of what to say next, she put her hand on his knee, but he shoved it off and started pinching himself all over as he sobbed, "I'm bad I need to be punished!" and "I'm sorry daddy!"

Lela grabbed his arms to stop him from hurting himself, but Dan was a lot bigger than her and she struggled to keep him still. Unable to reach her pager, she shouted to Kate, "Go get help, quick!"


	21. Chapter 21

Nurses ran in shortly after Kate had run from the room. They quickly surveyed the situation before one helped Lela hold Dan still and another prepared a syringe. They could tell that there was no getting him to calm down from this, the only option was a sedative. Kate watched from beside the door with wary eyes as the needle was prepared and inserted into Dan's arm, his kicking and flailing slowing until he stilled entirely.

Lela picked him up off the floor with a nurse's help and they carried him back to his room. Eric was already there and Lela quickly informed him of what happened and told him to call for her as soon as he awoke. She said he probably wouldn't be awake for a few hours but just to keep an eye on him in case he woke up early.

"How's he doing?" Kate asked, walking in two hours after Dan had been sedated.

"Still sleeping," Eric answered. He looked up at Kate. "What happened? Lela said that he started hurting himself, but why?"

"She made Dan think he needed to be punished, not on purpose of course, but when she wouldn't and she said Phil couldn't come, he started pinching himself. He was a mess and it was the only way they'd get him to calm down. Poor boy, he's been through so much," she explained, taking a seat on the edge of his bed and gently placing her hand over his blanket-covered knee.

"You know, Phil's trial begins next week," Eric stated, remembering having seen it on the news in the rec room.

"What?!" she near shouted, looking at Dan with wide eyes filled with worry.

"Yeah, that's why he can't come visit anymore. Apparently he's being charged with Dan's kidnapping and abuse so he's obviously not allowed to see him. Fucking sucks though, anyone who knows either of them could tell they'd never do anything to hurt each other."

"How's Dan going to testify for Phil?" she asked suddenly.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, in this state there's no telling what he'd say. He could accuse Phil."

"I don't think he'd do that, do you? I mean, Phil's his caretaker, don't little's get really attached to them?"

"Well, yeah, but he also thinks Phil hurt him."

"Phil  _ did  _ hurt him. Not willingly, but it did happen." Eric pointed out. The conversation was cut short by Dan stirring in his bed.

Slowly, Dan blinked his eyes open. The room was dimly lit, only the few fairy lights he demanded be put up illuminating the room. Kate was sat at the end of the bed and turning his head, he saw Eric in his.

"Katie!" he shouted, jumping up and wakening quickly.

"I thought I told you not to call me that!" she joked, opening her arms for Dan to crawl into. Dan giggled, mumbling "Katie" again just to annoy her.

"Would you like some dinner? I can go get you some if you'd like?"

"Okay!" he said, nodding happily. "Eric!" he squealed, wiggling from Kate's grip and wobbling over to said boy. It always looked odd to see a grown man wobbling, but they'd gotten used to it, seeing as little Dan always did it.

"Hey there, fella," he said affectionately, rubbing Dan's head lightly. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good!"

"That's great. You wanna play a bit until Kate gets back with dinner?"

"Okay!"

Dan pulled Eric to the floor, pulling out the playmat the nurses had dragged from the children's wing of the hospital. On the mat were some toys and Pooh-Bear which Dan went to instantly. 

"Hello, Pooh-Bear! I missed you!"

~~~~

"Ready to go?" Lela asked, lightly holding Dan's hand. It was the first day of the trial, and even though Dan was still little, he still had to attend and testify. A lawyer had come around to try and help Dan testify against Phil days ago, but Dan had only broken down at the mention of his daddy and Lela had to kick the man out, saying that Dan wouldn't be needing a lawyer.

"I don't wanna, mummy! Can't I stay with Katie and Eric?" he whined, tugging on her hand.

"No, you have to come with me. You can have some ice-cream when we get back, okay?" she offered, refraining from simply asking Dan if he'd be a good boy. That's what Phil used to do, but both good boy and bad boy triggered Dan and caused him to beg to be hurt and then hurt himself when he was inevitably refused.

"Fine," he mumbled, waddling behind Lela. "Mummy, slow down," he whined, tripping over his feet as he tried to keep up.

"I'm sorry," she said, walking slower. Once in the car, they headed away from the hospital and towards the courthouse.

~~~~

"Now beginning the trial of Philip Michael Lester, accused of the kidnapping and abuse of Daniel James Howell. Both are present in the courtroom today and will continue to be until a verdict has been made," the judge said, sitting in his seat once he finished.

And thus began the slow, boring trial. Eventually, Dan was called to the stand. He'd begged for Lela to come up with him but she couldn't as they didn't want her saying anything to change his answers.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" a man wearing a suit asked, holding a book in his palm. Dan looked over to Phil, silently asking what he was supposed to do. Phil simply nodded at him, eyes red-rimmed. Dan nodded and the man grumbled something about it being unofficial but walked off anyway, bible in hand.

"Daniel, is it true you slip into a childlike mindset at times and that Mr Lester used to take care of you when you were like this?" He looked around the room, eyes wide and frightened as everyone in the room stared at him. His eyes eventually landed on Lela who had to refrain from hinting at what to say. She'd lose her power to testify if she did anything of the sort, and Dan's responses would be disregarded as well.

"Uh-huh," he ended up saying.

"And is it true that while you were like this, Mr Lester abandoned you out in public for some of his friends to assault you?"

Dan again looked to Lela, who only cast her eyes down, too scared to look and see Dan so afraid.

"I dunno," he mumbled, thumb slipping into his mouth, his heartbeat increasing a little.

"Is it true that Mr Lester tricked you into thinking you'd get a dog so his friends would have an easier time convincing you to go with them?"

"I dunno!" he shouted, a few tears sliding down his face.

"It's okay, Daniel. He can't hurt you anymore," the lawyer said, glaring at Phil who was handcuffed to a chair in his little own persecutor booth.

"Now, from what I've been told, Mr Lester aided you in your escape. He was the one to find you. I suggest he knew all along where Daniel was and only aided in his escape to avoid police suspicion. When Daniel was assaulted for a second time, he was abused by not only Mr Kide but also by Mr Lester. During this time, he repeatedly carved words into Daniel's stomach, approximately a few for each day of his capture. Daniel, is this the events that took place?" the lawyer continued, addressing the audience for the most part, but directing his question to Dan.

"Uh-huh," he answered. He didn't remember everything clearly but he remembered the pain of the words and the scars that they permanently left behind.

"Your honour, if I may come forward, I can provide you with a copy of Dan's medical record after he was rescued for the second time." The judge waved him forward and the lawyer passed over a folder of papers, the judge quickly scanning some of the pages before pushing it aside for later and returning to listening to the lawyer's explanations.

"As you can see, Daniel is clear about the events that took place during his second assault. Mr Lester repeatedly abused him and, as Mr Howell's medical records suggest, repeatedly raped him along with Mr Kide. No more questions, your honour." The lawyer grinned as he sat down, clearly quite happy with how his case came across.

"Mrs Raines, do you have any questions for the witness?" the judge asked, looking at Phil's lawyer. She was part of the court system, unwillingly assigned to the case since no other lawyer agreed to argue  _ for  _ Phil. She's actually knew who he was through, her two daughters being absolutely obsessed with the two men. She'd never really been into them herself, but what little she did know about Phil, she highly doubted he'd be able to do anything like Mr Daul, Dan's lawyer, was suggesting.

"Yes, I do have some questions," she said, standing from her desk and walking a few steps nearer Dan.

"Daniel, when you slip into this child mindset, who usually looks after you?" she asked.

"My daddy," he answered as if it were obvious.

"And is Phil your daddy?"

Dan nodded, confusion evident on his face.

"And what do you normally do together? How does he look after you?"

"He plays with me and gives me apple juice. When-when can Daddy and I go home?"

"Soon, Daniel. If I do this right, and you help me, your daddy can return soon."

"She's tampering with the witness! He's used to Mr Lester looking after him and is clearly showing symptoms of Stockholm Syndrome!" Mr Daul interrupted.

"Quiet down!" the judge yelled, glaring at Dan's lawyer. "Mrs Raines, continue."

"Can you recall the events of the day at the park with us, please?" she asked.

"Uh-huh. Daddy took me to the park. I didn't wanna go but he told me to be a g- a good boy. He let me play in the sandpit and told me not to go anywhere ‘cause he had to go tinkle. Sir and his friend came and offered me a puppy. They said they were daddy's friends so I thought it was okay."

"That's okay. II just have one more question. When you were found, what did Phil do?"

"He-he took care of me just like he always does."

"Okay, no more questions for the witness, your honour."


	22. Chapter 22

Once Lela brought Dan back to the hospital after the trial, he properly broke down. In the car, there were quiet sobs and hiccups, but the second he stepped into the confines of his room, the tears came and he crumpled to the floor.

"What happened?" Eric asked, rushing over to Dan, but directing his question to Lela.

"It was a stressful day. I'll go get a nurse to bring a sedative in."

She left the room, leaving Eric to handle him momentarily. She hated sedating him and she knew Dan hated it too but he needed rest and he always struggled to sleep after a meltdown unless Phil was with him.

"It'll be okay, Dan, just relax," the nurse said, injecting the needle into Dan's shoulder before picking him up and placing him on the bed. "If he wakes up before mid-tomorrow, tell a nurse or Dr Miller," the nurse said to Eric before leaving the room.

"Okay, spill. What happened at the trial?" Eric asked, plonking himself on his bed.

"Oh, yeah, the trial. How did it go?" Kate asked, sticking her head through the door before joining Dan on the bed, lightly petting his hair.

Lela sighed. While there was no policy against talking about Phil's trial, it still felt weird and inappropriate. "Dan just agreed with whatever he was asked. He never answered no. I think he thought he'd get in trouble for disagreeing. It wouldn't surprise me after what Mr Conray and Mr Kide did. The disgusting bastards probably conditioned him that way. When he fought against them, I'd bet anything they made it worse. It's fucking sick, sorry, excuse my language."

"So what happens now?" Kate questioned, eyes trailing to Dan's still body, his lips parted slightly as he breathed in and out.

"His testimony in this is critical. The judge basically hangs onto his every word and it's horrible because Dan's just agreeing with whatever. If someone asked him if Phil hurt him he'd most likely say yes because that's what he remembers!" Lela shouted, getting angrier and more worked up as she spoke. She sighed and rubbed at her face. 

"Sorry, it's just...this thing is really important and stressful, and I don't know what would happen to Dan if Phil went to jail. I'll probably be called to the stand tomorrow, so I can talk about what I know, but I have to tell the truth and that is that Phil has hurt Dan, not on purpose or of his own free will, but he has."

"You can't be suggesting what I fucking think you're suggesting," Eric hissed, hands clenching into fists.

"Eric, Kate, listen, you know I can't lie and tell the judge Phil is completely innocent. I know he never did any of it on purpose and that he loves Dan, but I have to be honest and that means telling the judge. I will explain everything though, so if Phil's sent to prison, it won't be because I held parts of the truth."

Kate seemed to accept this explanation, but Eric did not.

"I can't fucking  _ believe _ you right now," he spat, jumping from his bed and marching from the room. 

~~~~

"I'd like to call Miss Lela Miller to the stand," Mrs Raines said, standing herself. Lela squeezed Dan's hand before shuffling out of the row of seats and walking to the podium. After swearing to tell the truth, the questions began.

"Miss Miller, what can you recall from your first appointment with Mr Howell?"

"I've brought my notes from every appointment I had with him if you'd like to see them. Our first session was mostly spent getting to know each other. I remember thinking how difficult the case would be, especially with Phil's guilty nature."

"Guilty, you say? What was he guilty about?"

Lela cursed herself for her word choices, hoping she could bring this back.

"From what I could tell, he felt truly terrible about Dan's kidnapping. He felt it was his fault for leaving Dan to go to the bathroom. I'd like to make it clear now that I in no way believe Phil had anything to do with Dan's kidnapping," she said, adding her own opinion to the end. It likely wouldn't make a difference, but if she kept her stance throughout the trial, the judge may bring it into consideration.

"I've been told you were the person to free Mr Howell from his second kidnapping. Can you explain to me what happened that day?"

Lela nodded, glad she was permitted to talk about this. It would surely help Phil, and she wouldn't be lying which she'd promised herself she wouldn't do.

"Dan had missed his appointment. Since I didn't have any other patients coming in for the rest of the day, I decided to go check up on them to make sure they were okay. When I got there, I heard shouting and two distinct voices that I knew weren't Dan and Phil's. My gut was telling me to call the police, so I did and when they arrived, they barged in. Mr Kide held both of them hostage within their own flat. From what I've heard from Phil, and what I've learnt with Dan, both were equally abused sexually. Dan was, unfortunately, more at harm, however. Phil has recounted to me cutting words into Dan's stomach completely against his will. In his words, minus the swearing, 'I couldn't control my body, whatever drug he injected shouldn't exist'. Your honour, would you like to see a copy of my notes?" The judge nodded, and someone dressed in a suit stepped forward to take them from her, delivering them to the judge.

After a few more questions, Mrs Raines smiled. "No more questions for the witness at this time," Mrs Raines said, taking a seat and quickly scribbling words onto her notepad.

"Mr Daul, any questions for the witness?" The man stood, straightening his pages against his desk as he cleared his throat.

"Miss Miller, do you have any evidence that Mr Lester wasn't in control during the second abduction?"

"Well, uh, no, but I did bring the medical records from the hospital after they were rescued," she said, quickly shuffling through her papers before handing it over the same man who'd collected her notes.

"I see, and do you have any evidence that suggests Mr Lester wasn't contributing to Mr Howell's harm?"

"Well, he was," she explained. "But it wasn't consensual, just like a lot of the stuff that happened," she said, mumbling the second half.

"Can you prove Mr Lester didn't make Mr Kide hurt him simply to keep the police off his back? From the medical records, Mr Lester's injuries were considerably less than Mr Howell's."

"Well, that is true. And I can't prove that it wasn't because of what you say, but during the first kidnapping, Phil was incredibly concerned. One of his and Dan's friends, Louise Pentland, is here today in court. She can recall more of Phil's reaction to when Dan was captured as I wasn't there at the time."

"Okay, and one last question. From what I've heard, you were the one to contact the police in regards to Lester in the first place. Can you please explain what made you choose to do that?"

"Phil was visiting the hospital I work at and where Dan was staying at the time and is still staying. From what I could tell of the situation, Phil had to leave and had told me that Dan needed to be looked after. I can't remember how, but he referred to Dan as a 'good boy' which must have triggered something within Dan as he grabbed the scissors from my desk and began begging for Phil to hurt him. While I don't believe Phil had intentionally hurt him, I had to report it. The policy of my work dictates that if I believe anyone staying may be in danger, I have to report it to the police and hospital board. I didn't want to, nor do I believe Dan was thinking clearly at the time, but I had to contact the police."

Mr Daul nodded. "No more questions for the witness." 


	23. Chapter 23

To say Lela was exhausted would be an understatement. Between the trial and working with clients, she was really running herself thin. The day she testified she had gone home and cried herself to sleep. She truly didn't think either Dan or Phil deserved any of this. She felt guilty as Phil situation was mostly her fault. If she hadn't of alerted the police then Phil wouldn't be on trial. But on the other hand, if she hadn't said anything then she would have been in violation of the hospital's policies. Dan didn't help matters at all. He spent most of his days sulking and crying which made her feel even more guilty for the whole thing.

Lela had been working with Dan every moment she could to progress his therapy in hope's he might feel comfortable to regress back to his normal state. They had some progress but it really wasn't much.

The other doctors frowned upon her when she tried to switch group therapy for personal therapy so she fit in time with Dan whenever she could. Of course, that was probably the best course of action. As much as she hoped Dan would get better soon, she didn't want to push him too hard. She had read several studies on how pushing a regressed person too much could lead to permanent side effects.

One thing she had tried was hypnosis. It was a controversial thing in her field but she felt the potential benefits outweighed any negative side effects. Dan seemed to respond well to it too. They hadn't accomplished much but she had been able to learn more of what had happened while Dan had been held captive. The things she heard where heartbreaking and in fact made her feel sick but she knew that this is what Dan needed to get better.

During the sessions, Dan would become almost inconsolable but she was able to control it enough so that he hadn't tried to hurt himself again. When she would bring Dan out of hypnosis, she would ask him if he remembered anything he had told her and he said no, but from the look in his eyes she knew that was probably not the full truth. Still, she didn't push him into sharing, she would wait until he was ready to talk about it out of his hypnotised state.

Today, like every other day, Lela had a session with Dan. She walked over to the closet in her office and drug out the container of toys she had. It made Dan feel more comfortable to have toys and familiar things around. There was a knock on her office door. "Come in," she called out

A young nurse opened the door with Dan in tow, "Here he is Lela."

"Thanks, Rose." She waved her hand to signal she could go.

"Hi Danny, how are you doing this morning?" she smiled brightly.

She elected to use Danny because she had recently learned Dan responded to it better.

"Good, Mummy!" he said happily as he flopped down on the couch with Pooh-Bear. Clearly, he had gotten used to their routine.

Lela sighed, eventually they would have to work on that but at the moment if seeing her as a caregiver made Dan feel safer then she wasn't going to rock the boat.

"That's very good," she smiled.

He started pulling toys out of the container "Eric and Kate said tonight after dinner we can watch a movie," he said excitedly.

"Oh, that sounds like fun." She paused for a moment. "So, Danny, do you remember what we have been doing in our sessions?"

Dan refused to look up. "Yes," he mumbled, clearly not excited about doing this again.

"Ok then, Dan, I want you to lay back on the couch and get comfortable."

"Can Pooh-Bear lay down with me?" he asked as he laid down anyway.

"Of course, whatever makes you feel more comfortable."

He sighed as he laid his head on the pillow pulling Pooh-Bear closer to his body.

"Ok, now close your eyes and relax. And as you relax, imagine yourself drifting on a calm and beautiful river. Picture your muscles becoming loose and limp, feeling completely relaxed as you enjoy the sound of my voice. Your eyelids may feel rather heavy, almost like you're exhausted after a long day. Let your eyelids close, and relax into a deep sleep-like state."

Dan breathing evened out, signifying they were ready to begin.

"Dan, I want you to remember back to when Sir held you and your daddy captive."

A whimper escaped his mouth, "I don't want to."

Using her calmest voice, she pushed forward. "It's ok Dan, there is nothing to worry about. I'm right here and Sir can't hurt you anymore," she reassured him.

Once he calmed, she continued."Ok, do you remember when your daddy hurt you?"

"Yes," he whined.

"Can you walk me through what you remember?"

"Sir came in and I was scared but Daddy told me it would be ok. Sir made Daddy eat something. He didn't want to but Sir said he'd hurt me." Lela saw tears forming in the corner of his closed eyes. "Sir said how bad I was and how I deserved to be punished. He said it was my fault," his voice started to get shaky. "Sir gave Daddy this sharp thing and told him he had to punish me. Said if he didn't that he would punish me even worse."

Dan's eyes were still closed but there were tears now freely falling down his face and his arms were constricting to pull Pooh-Bear closer.

"Sir held me down and Daddy hurt me. Daddy told me I was a good boy but it hurt so much!" he sobbed.

"Daddy stop why you hurt me? Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! It hurts! I'm sorry I was a bad boy! I'll be good I promise!"

Dan was withering back and forth on the couch, clutching Pooh-Bear to his chest as he whimpered, whined and sobbed.

"Dan it's ok, it's not real, you're not back there," Lela said, trying to calm him down.

Dan let out an ear-piercing scream which sounded mildly like "I'm sorry Daddy!" before he stopped moving and laid crumpled and curled in a ball on the couch.

"Dan, I need you to listen closely, it's almost time to come back to the room and fully awaken. You'll notice you become more aware of my voice again. It's time to come out of the trance when you are ready in a few moments. As you come out of the sleep-like state, you notice just how relaxed and comfortable you feel. It's time to come back now and wake up, ok? Listen to my voice and come back."

Dan whimpered as he slowly opened his eyes. The room was quiet for a minute.

"Mummy, why you make me do that?" he whispered, refusing to meet Lela's eyes.

Her heart broke, she hated doing this to him. But making him relive what happened was the first step in him accepting it and accepting that it wasn't his fault.

She sighed, "I'm so sorry Danny, but we have to do this."

Whimpering again, Dan rolled himself into a tighter ball. It looked like he was trying to disappear.

She continued, "Dan, nothing that happened is your fault. Sir was a very bad man who did bad things to you and he made your daddy do bad things to you too."

"But Sir said I'm bad and I deserve this," he insisted, lifting up his shirt to reveal the scars on his stomach.

Lela felt bile coming up her throat. That was the second time she had seen the scars on Dan's body and she was just as horrified as the first. She couldn't believe what she saw carved across his upper torso. In big jagged lettering it read,  _ Daddy hates you _ , followed by  _ whore _ which, judging from the scars, was from a different time.

Lela quickly wiped the tears away that were forming in her eyes and got up from her desk to sit next to him on the couch. Putting her hand on his knee, she whispered, "Dan, what Sir said was wrong. No one deserves to be punished, especially you, and this is most definitely not your fault."

Dan flung his arms around her and sobbed, "Not my fault, not my fault."

It took a good ten minutes for Dan to calm down enough to be taken back to his room. Lela accompanied the nurse who took him just to make sure he got there alright.

The first thing Dan did was lay down on his bed and quickly fell into slumber with his pacifier in his mouth.

"What happened?" Eric asked coming into the room and seeing Dan.

Lela sighed, "Dan had a pretty rough therapy session and it exhausted him quite a bit."

Eric looked down at Dan's sleeping form. "Is he going to be ok?"

"He will be after a nap. Right now we need to focus on letting Dan know that none of this was his fault."

Eric nodded his head. "I'll tell Kate and we will make sure to remind him of that every now and again."

Lela smiled. "Thanks, Eric, you're a good friend to Dan."

"Dan's sweet, I like having him as a friend," he shrugged. "Will Dan be able to watch a movie with me and Kate tonight?"

Lela whipped a strand of hair out of Dan's eyes, she really did feel like his mum sometimes. "As long as Dan is up for it, it should be fine."

Eric nodded his head, "Ok, I'll check with him when he wakes up."

Lela nodded and said goodbye to Eric before leaving. She and Dan still had lots of progress to make but today was a good start. Dan being able to say it wasn't his fault was a big step in the right direction.


	24. Chapter 24

"Lester, get up!"

Phil was startled awake by a loud bang on his cell door. He sighed and swung his feet over the side of the bed. There was nothing on the agenda today since it was Sunday. The only reason he even got out of bed this morning was that his stomach had been growling ever since last night when he had skipped dinner.

He washed the sleep out of his eyes and just so happened to catch a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror. If he didn't know better, he wouldn't have even recognised himself. His eyes were sunken into his skull with big black circles underneath from lack of sleep. His hair was messy and long and if you looked hard enough you could see the hint of ginger at his roots. When was the last time he had gotten a full night's sleep or dyed his hair, he wondered. It had probably been before all this madness started.

"Lester, come on!"

Startled from his thoughts, Phil dropped the hand he had on his face. The guard shoved a food try in through the slot on his door.

"Eat up," he snapped at him.

Apparently, he was not allowed to eat with the other inmates since he had not officially been found guilty or sentenced yet. Not that he minded; he wanted nothing to do with anybody in this place.

He picked up his tray and grimaced a pile of grey eggs and single piece of toast that was his breakfast. He debated just throwing it away but his stomach grumbled in protest. Sighing, stabbed the grey egg with his fork and brought it up to his mouth. It wasn't the worst thing he had ever eaten (thanks to many truth or dare games) but it was close. Bringing another forkful to his mouth, he ate his breakfast in silence.

Most of the day was spent pacing his cell. Jail was not a good place for someone who had lots of thoughts. All he could think about was Dan. How was he doing? Was he ok? He groaned in frustration, this was fucking bullshit. When they had first arrested him he figured that it would all get cleared up and he would be back at home by now. But since Dan was apparently still regressed, he really didn't understand what was going on. It had broken his heart watching him testify on the witness stand. Not knowing any better, he agreed with everything that was being asked. Phil didn't doubt he was afraid of punishment if he did disagree.

"Keep it moving, Kide!" he heard an officer shout.

Spinning around, Phil ran to the bars on his cell. It couldn't be, could it? There were lots of people with that name. But it only took a minute for his fears to be confirmed because walking down the walkway towards him was the scumbag.

"Come on man! This is bull shit!" Roger bit back to the officer.

Phil expected the man to yell something back when he heard a quieter voice, "Mr Kide, I advise you to not make enemies while in here."

Phil was taken back. The man with Roger, the one that wasn't a guard, was Dan's lawyer, Mr Daul. But why was he talking to this scumbag?

"Yeah yeah I know, you already said that," Roger huffed.

Phil could fully see them now they were stopped and talking in front of one of the other cells. The officer patiently waiting off to the side, out of hearing range considering how quiet the two were talking.

"How much longer is this fucking trial going to take anyway? You said that Lester was on trial and that if Seth and I accused him that we would get some leniency?" There was a pause. "How did you say he got turned in any way?"

Phil couldn't believe what he was hearing. From the sounds of it, Dan's lawyer was in cahoots with the man who had kidnapped Dan.

"It was Howell's therapist, now will you be fucking quiet?" he hissed, "Do you want everyone to know that we made a deal?"

"Come on, it's not a big deal. Besides we got this. As you said, we cooperate with the police and accuse Lester of being the mastermind since he was already a suspect and the judge will give me a reduced sentence'" he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Do you know what they will do to me if they find out I'm helping you," Daul hissed again. And they really weren't very good at keeping this whole clearly-secret deal, well, secret.

"Come on baby, it's not a big deal." Kide closed the distance between himself and Daul and placed a hand on his waist.

Phil's mouth fell open as he watched Dan's lawyer kiss Kide on the lips, the police officer ignoring everything.

"Once you're outta here we can finally be together right?" Daul whispered.

Kide said something he couldn't hear but they began walking towards his cell again. He flung himself on his bed trying to act like he hadn't seen or heard anything. As they walked by Kide happened to glance in his direction. A smirk broke out on his face. Stopping for just a moment he winked at Phil and continued walking and talking with the lawyer.

He didn't know exactly what was going on but what he did know was somehow he needed to get in contact with his own lawyer and have her look into the lawyer the court had appointed Dan. "Fuck!" he whispered to himself. How did his and Dan's lives get so fucked up?

~~~~

Roger was escorted back to his cell, the door making a loud bang and click sound behind him.  _ It won't be much longer _ , he thought to himself. The dumbass lawyer had fallen right into his trap like he knew he would. Up until a few weeks ago, he had no idea what he was going to do; the evidence was pretty clear that he and Seth had kidnapped that faggot, as well as he had been caught red-handed hold Dan and Phil hostage. He had been stripped of his badge the moment he had been taken into custody and thrown into this godforsaken cell.

At first, his lawyer had tried arguing insanity, saying he was blacked out for most of it and didn't realize what he was doing. It would've worked too if that bastard Seth had kept his mouth shut. From what he knew after he had run from the cabin the first time Seth had been arrested, he'd claimed there had been a second accomplish but wouldn't name who. Kide wasn't stupid though, he knew the moment they offered him a plea deal that Seth would hand him over. So he figured why not get some revenge and have some fun before it all came to an end. Thus resulting him keeping that faggot and his 'boyfriend' locked up in their own apartment.

When it had been revealed that Lester had been arrested and was being charged with having a part in the crimes, he couldn't believe his luck.

Roger knew Chris Daul through connections at work. Several times while he had been on call at the police station, Daul had been people's choice of call for a lawyer to bail themselves out. After talking a few times they had fallen into bed together. It was just a simple fuck for him but for Chris, he knew it had been more. He'd revealed some time ago that he was in love with him. He'd went along with it, thinking it was a good idea since, at the time, his ex-girlfriend was charging him with assault. Kide ended up getting the case dropped through the helpful use of Chris.

Happy about not losing his job, one night he had gone to a bar and that his where he had meet Seth. For both of them, their relationship had been nothing more than a quick hook up in a bar bathroom. But they did continue to hood up once or twice a week for a while until they eventually built a friendship.

It had been Seth who introduced him to Howell. Roger had no idea who the little twink had been beforehand, not having much to do with the internet. At the time, Seth was already pretty obsessed. He was always going on about how much he wanted to "ruin Howell" and "fuck his tight little hole until he screamed". Roger had to admit he found the twink attractive too but not to the extent that Seth had. He remembers multiple times while they were drunk they would talk about all the things they would do to him. Seth had lots of ideas when it came to torturing the boy, which they stayed up for hours talking about late at night. Roger had always been into that stuff but it felt amazing to talk to someone who got off on the same stuff he did.

And so they made a plan. It had developed pretty fast, in all honesty. He doesn't even remember whose idea it had first been. It had been his idea to stalk Howell and Lester for weeks beforehand, learning all they could about them. As much as he liked Seth, he could be a bit of a moron. If he would have had his way, they would have acted immediately and they probably would not have succeeded at all.

It had been Seth's idea to electrocute the boy while they held him at the cabin. But both of them got off on the pain it had caused him.

The moment he heard about Lester's arrest, his lawyer threw out the insanity plea since there was no chance in that actually working and came up with the plan to accuse Lester of being the mastermind behind it all. It didn't take Seth long to agree with the plan as he did pretty much anything Roger told him to do.

It had been hard but he made sure Daul was the one to take Howell's case. Still, using the man's infatuation for him, he managed to convince Daul that if they got Lester convicted he would get way less time than originally thought. He promised him they could be together when he got out. He knew he would have to do some time because he would have to admit to the kidnapping, but Lester would get far longer and that gave Kide a sick sense of satisfaction.

He chuckled to himself as he sat down on his bed. Seeing Lester in a cell had been so pleasing. He couldn't believe the plan was actually working.


	25. Chapter 25

"I call Mr Lester to testify," Mrs Raines called, causing whispers to break out across the courtroom. Dan sat next to Lela, watching as Phil was manhandled across the room towards the witness stand. His wrists were in cuffs, the metal digging into his skin. They were hooked through the chair's arms, keeping him from getting up and running.

"Phil, when was it that you and Mr Howell met?" she asked, wanting to go from the beginning.

"In 2009, October 18th. We'd met online a few months before that and talked for a while. He came up to visit me in Manchester in October," Phil answered, smiling as he remembered the day.

"And when was it you first found out about Mr Howell's regressive nature?"

"A little under a year later, I think. So, like, mid-to-late 2010. He'd wanted to tell me something the night before but he was stressing himself out so much he slipped into little space. I had no idea what was going on."

"Okay, thank you. Now for some more serious questions," she said, warning him. "On the day of the first kidnapping, would you share the events of what happened?"

"Dan was little, he had been since the afternoon the day before so I was expecting it. I'd decided we'd go to the park but Dan hadn't wanted to. I eventually convinced him and we headed off. Once we were there, he asked to go play so I said yes but I told him to stay in the sandpit because I had to go to the bathroom. He said he'd stay there and I stupidly believed him, not that it was his fault at all. I should have made him come with me, I've learnt that lesson well and truly now though."

Mrs Raines nodded, sparing a quick glance at the judge before continuing. "And when you came out of the bathroom, did you see anything?"

"Yeah, I walked out and looked for Dan at the sandpit but he wasn't there. I heard a scream so obviously spun around and saw him being shoved into the back of a van. Before I could do anything, he was gone."

"What do you think of the claim that you were involved in the kidnappings, that you were in communication with Mr Conray and Kide?"

"I wasn't," Phil said simply. "I'd never hurt Dan and I feel absolutely horrible about what happened to Dan."

Mrs Raines smiled in sad understanding. "Can you recount the second kidnapping to the court, please?"

"Of course, can Dan leave for that though? I don't want him going through it again." The courtroom burst into whispers as Dan looked at Phil with wide hurt eyes. His daddy didn't want to see him anymore? He was led from the room with tears on his cheeks and Lela's comforting hand on his back.

"We'd gotten back from our first meeting with Dr Miller and I realised the door was unlocked. Since S- sorry, Roger hadn't been caught yet, I had an officer check over the flat. There was always police stationed outside our flat in case he showed up again since the cabin had photos of us and stuff. Anyway, the officer said it was clear so we went in as normal and next thing I knew, I had my hands tied behind my back and Dan was across the room. The officer came in and I figured he'd get us out but he was Roger. I'd let him so close to Dan and I'll never forgive myself for that. He r-raped him multiple times, and me too. He used some kinda drug that kept me conscious but made my body numb and made me cut Dan's stomach which is why Dan thinks it was me who was hurting him." Phil shouldered his face in an attempt to wipe away the tears that had started to fall.

She nodded, continuing despite the angry whispers of those who blamed Phil mixed with the sorrowful ones of those who didn't. "Before we continue, you stuttered towards the start of your answer. Do you remember what you were going to say?"

He blushed and looked down. "Uh, yeah, I was going to say Sir ‘cause that's what he demanded we call him."

"Okay, and just one last question. Miss Miller retold the events in her office. Where Dan begged you to hurt him. Can you tell us some more about this?"

"Right, um, I came to visit him in the hospital he's staying at and I had to go since visitation was over. He was little though so I went to Lela because he needs someone to look after him when he's like that. I'd said something along the lines of ‘he needs someone to make sure he's a good boy', half talking to him, and he just kind of broke down. He grabbed the scissors from Lela's desk and pushed them into my hand and lifted his shirt to point to the few spots of clear skin. It made me feel so sick to see what I'd unintentionally caused."

"Do you know what it was that could have triggered him to act like that?"

"I think it was the ‘good boy.' I kept saying that to him when I was-" He chocked as tears rushed down his face. "Sorry, when I was cutting the words into his stomach so he wouldn't think he was in trouble. I think he associated the words with that."

Mrs Raines nodded. "Okay, thank you." Mrs Raines turned to the judge. "No more questions, your honour."

"Defence, any questions for the witness?"

Mr Daul stood and shuffled his papers into a pile. "With regards to the drug that blocked your bodily control, do you have any evidence?"

"Well, ah, no," Phil said, looking down a little. He knew he'd hate these questions, the man was out to get him and the worst part was that Seth and he were in a fucking relationship. It made his blood boil.

"Right, and there is clear evidence to show you were the person to inflict those words, your own mouth being part of that evidence. My question is, how can we know you are telling the truth? Surely you'd claim innocence if the alternative was prison."

"Well, I don't really have any proof that I wasn't involved. All you have is my word, but I am bound to be honourable while sitting in this chair."

Mr Daul chuckled a little at that. "Well, if I may, your honour, I have some evidence that suggests Mr Lester's guilt?" The judge nodded so Daul handed the file to the man who took it to the judge. "Inside that file is a series of photos, each stamped with the time and date they were taken. The first is at a local cafe around the corner from Mr Lester and Mr Howell's flat. The rest are of similar meetings." Mr Daul spun around from the judge. "That file contains photographs of Mr Lester in cohorts with Mr Kide and Mr Conray. Each time-stamped to at least a week before the original kidnapping."

Chatter erupted through the courtroom, not dying down even as the judge banged the gavel against the anvil. Lela walked back in shortly after the whispers and shouts broke out, bringing Dan in behind her, the boy hiding his face in her sleeve.

"Everyone shut it!" Phil shouted, seeing Dan's reaction to the loud noises. Everyone quickly quietened, eyes all going directly to him. None of the officials seemed all that pleased with Phil's outbreak but he'd do what was necessary if it meant Dan was a little calmer.

"Even though this is a little unorthodox, I will allow both lawyers to ask questions at the same time to the current witness, Mr Lester."

Both Mrs Raines and Mr Daul tried to speak before both stopped to not be rude. "Mr Daul, you may finish your questions then Mrs Raines may have her turn to question him."

There were lots of questions from both sides, Daul's phrased to show his guilty nature and Mrs Raines shaped to prove his sweet and caring personality.

The trial went on for weeks, fifteen people testifying in the end, including Seth and Roger. Why they got to have a say Phil would never know, but the judge declared it important to the case. Dan hadn't been allowed to go that day so he'd stayed at the hospital being looked after by Kate and Eric. Lela had insisted she still go, saying it was important someone from the hospital knew exactly what was going on.

One month exactly after Phil's arrest, the trial came to an end. Everyone was surprised by how quickly it was resolved but the judge seemed to be confident in their decision.

The judge stood from their seat, causing silence to fall over the audience. "I have come to the verdict of Philip Lester's charge against the kidnapping and assault of his partner, Daniel Howell. After an extensive investigation and the court case we have witnessed here over the past month, I declare Philip Lester guilty of all charges. He will serve forty years in a medium-security penitentiary with fifteen years parole."


	26. Chapter 26

When Phil was transferred into the prison, he wasn't quite sure what to expect. The walls were grey, the floor was grey, the ceiling was grey. Grey grey grey. The most colour was either the poorly-kept grass in the yard or the bluey-green of the tap and shower water. In all honesty, it was a heinous sight, and Phil didn't blame those who tried to escape.

"In ya get," the guard snapped, pushing Phil forward into the small room. "Hands," he ordered. Phil slipped his hands through the gap in the door and felt his wrists be freed. "Roomie's probably in the yard. Jus' follow everyone else, mate, you'll work 't ou'," he said, giving the only advice Phil had received since meeting the angry-looking man.

Phil looked around the small cell, subconsciously rubbing his wrists where the metal had dug in a little. There was a functioning toilet in the corner so that was nice; he'd been expecting to shit in a bucket and have to deal with the smell of feces coming from the rooms in his block. The sight of a functional - yet disgustingly grimy - toilet calmed some of Phil's fears. There were two metal slabs held up by chains, each having a thin mattress and visibly-lumpy pillow.

"Mate, get the fuck off my bed," someone shouted, causing Phil to flinch and quickly stand. His roommate.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't realise,"

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't realise," the tattoo-covered man retorted back, voice much higher in a demeaning tone. "God, you aren't going to survive one week in this place. Toughen up mate, unless you wanna get the shit beaten outa' ya."

"O-Okay, what do we have now?" he asked, not really sure how prisons worked. He wasn't meant to be here, he shouldn't need to know how they work.

"Listen here, little fishy, ya can't just go 'round asking all the questions ya like. You'll get yourself killed. Keep ya head low, and listen to the guards. Don't piss 'em off or you'll regret it. Lights out start at 11 and wake up's at 5. We can shower for an hour, then have lock-up. Roll call happens during lock-up. Then yard for two hours and breakfast for another two. We work for four hours if you're lucky enough to have a job, then yard for another two, and free time for two before and after dinner which is also two hours. Any questions?"

"Uh, when's lunch?"

The man laughed. "You think the shits here care enough to give us lunch. Fishy, you really ain't gonna make it too long in here. Oh, and a piece of advice, don't drop the soap, I'll let you guess what'll happen, and also enrol in as many programs as possible. It makes ya look good for parole. Ya getting parole?"

"Yeah, fifteen years."

"Shit, how long you in here for, mate?"

"Forty years. It sucks ‘cause I didn't even do what they accused me of."

"And what is that?"

"They think I kidnapped my- uh- girlfriend and abused her with the help of another two guys."

"Shit that's- shit."

"What are you here for?"

At this, the man grinned. "Voyeurism. Turns out having your dom spank you in public is against some sort of protocol. I'm only in for a little bit, maybe a month or two more. Anyway, the name's Boston, what do they call ya?"

"Phil," he answered, choosing to lean against the wall instead of taking a seat on the green and yellow stained toilet.

The man slumped on his bed, laying a hand over his face to shield his eyes from the harsh sunlight. Hey, at least they had a window, right? "Work time now, fishies like you get frees."

"Sorry, why do you keep calling me a fish?"

The man tilted his head up, eyebrows raised as he stared at Phil with a look of ‘how fucking dumb are you?' "Fresh meat, newbie, never been to prison before equals fish. Simple logic." The man rolled over, facing the concrete wall.

~~~~

"Kate! Can I speak with you a moment?" Lela called, stepping over to said person as she sat on the couch.

"Of course." Kate closed her novel, putting on the table beside the couch and standing. "Where to?"

"My office." Kate followed Lela to the room down the corridor, doctors' offices lining the walls on either side.

"What did you want to speak to me about?" she asked, taking a seat. Lela wasn't her doctor, she'd worked best with Dr Noble, but she'd heard that Lela was amazing at her job.

"I just wanted to see how you're holding up. I know I'm not your doctor but I am Dan's and you are a big part of his life. I know he can be a handful and I know how exhausting he can be; I just want to make sure you're doing okay."

"Yeah, I'm doing alright. Dr Noble and I are working on my coping methods since their pretty shit at the moment. How's Dan?"

"Well, we aren't supposed to discuss other patient's treatments without their consent but I'll tell you as a friend, not as a colleague of your doctor. He's doing as well as he can be. I've been working on getting him to remember at the moment; he doesn't enjoy it but it's necessary."

Kate nodded in understanding.

"Listen, I've got to get to my private therapy session now so I'll talk to you later. Good luck with Dan."

Lela checked in with Eric too, only to find out he'd been hiding his lack of eating from the nurses. The boy had fainted in his seat and Lela had lifted his shirt to check his heart only to find skin and bones beneath. She called a nurse to take him back to his room and went to find his doctor. He could decide from there what to do.

"Hi, Mummy," Dan said, stepping into her office.

"Hello, Dan. How are you doing today?"

"Good! Pooh-Bear's good too!"

"That's good," she smiled, watching Dan take a seat on the mat and pull the lego from its box.

"Now Danny, do you remember what we've been doing in these sessions?"

"Yes," he mumbled, eyes downcast as if he expected to get in trouble. "But I don' wanna, Mummy! I don' like it!" Dan cried, grabbing the stuffy resting next to him to cuddle it to his chest.

"I know, Dan, but it's necessary," she tried, holding her hands up in a calming motion.

"No! I don' wanna!" Dan shouted, getting up off the floor and fleeing from the room. Lela let him go, but in two hours she'd regret doing so. Eric and Kate would come into her office, worry etched on both their faces.

"He's missing," Kate will say, and Lela didn't need any more information to know who they were talking about.


	27. Chapter 27

Carol looked out her window and sighed in relief as she looked down at the empty street below her apartment. The past few months had been absolutely horrible with police and the press constantly outside her apartment building. She had first met Dan and Phil almost six years ago when they had inquired about one of the apartment buildings she had for rent. She knew the moment she had met them that they would be perfect tenants, taking a quick liking to the pair.

Dan and Phil were both kind, polite, always paid their rent on time and never in the six years that they had lived in her building had anyone ever complained about them. She still didn't quite understand what either of them did for a living but she knew it involved videos on the internet. Being older, she didn't exactly have a computer, much less know really how to use the internet.

Still, two months ago when Dan had been kidnapped, her once quiet apartment building became overrun with police officers coming and going at all hours of the night and press people constantly screaming outside on the street day in and day out. She took pride in not getting into other people's business but she was aware that at least for a while neither one of the lads were coming back. The only reason she was able to keep their apartment for them was that Phil's mother came by every few weeks to pay their rent.

During these visits with Phil's mum, she had learned that Dan had been rescued and was now spending time in the hospital recovering while Phil had been arrested for his kidnapping. She had been shocked when Phil's mum had started sobbing and trying to explain why her son wasn't going to be living there anymore. She honestly had no idea what to make of the situation. She didn't know either of the two lads well but from her talks with both of them, they both seemed like upstanding citizens, not the kind of people to make a fuss. 

~~~~

Carol busied herself making her afternoon tea when she thought she heard a bang on her door. She slowly made her way over to the door and opened it.

"Hello?" She asked sticking her head out.

There was no one there, which confused her as she could have sworn she heard something. Shaking her head, she shut her door once again. " Maybe I should take Dr Ross up on her suggestion and take those hearing tests," she muttered to herself, chucking.

Once again, she was in her tiny kitchen pouring hot water from the kettle into her cup when she heard the noise again. Startled, she grabbed a knife off her kitchen counter. She may be getting up there in years but she could still put up one hell of a fight if she had too.

Slowly and as quietly as her aging body could allow, she exited her flat and walked down the corridor that held the doors to the other flats on that floor. Gripping the knife she looked down the hall almost missing the dark pile on the floor at the door at the end of the hall.

"Who's there?" She asked.

She got no response, "I'm calling the police if you don't tell me who you are!" she shouted.

A whimper came from the pile on the floor as well as a muffled response.

"What do you want?" she was now standing within feet of the person.

She was expecting to see anything but Dan's tear stricken face to look back up at her.

"Please don't call Sir! I just want my daddy!" he sobbed, looking up at her.

She dropped the knife to the floor, "Dan? What are you doing here? I thought you were in the hospital?" She bent down the best she could and looked at him.

"I was but Mummy was being mean and I want Daddy!" he wailed, tears dripping down his face.

Carol was confused why was Dan talking like he was a child.

"Why don't you get up off the floor, Dearie." She hesitantly reached out, not wanting to scare him. Dan took her hand and she helped him to his feet.

"So what's this all about, Dan?" she questioned him.

"Daddy won't come see me anymore and I wanna be home," he said motioning towards their front door and then sticking his thumb in his mouth. 

A flash of white on his wrist caught her attention. She reached out to read what it said:  _ Daniel Howell, age 27, Riverside Medical Hospital _ .

Not knowing what else to do, she took her master key out of her cardigan pocket and unlocked the door before ushering Dan inside. The place was still a mess since the police hadn't cleaned up after they were done ransacking the poor boys' apartment.

Dan instantly took off and Carol pulled her phone out of her pocket. She hated this thing, frustrated as she tried punching in the numbers she remembered off Dan's bracelet. Finally succeeding the phone rang twice, "Hello this is Riverside Medical Psychiatric Hospital, How may I help you?"

~~~~

Lela paced her office back and forth. How could this have happened? Up until today, she had thought hospital security was fine, but that begs the question of how Dan Howell, a boy with the mindset of a child, was able to leave with no one stopping him.

"Are you sure that is all you can remember?" the bored-looking police officer looked at her.

She glared at him, "I've told you everything I know, why are you wasting your time here and not out looking for Dan?" she snapped.

The officer sighed, "Ma'am, Mr Howell is an adult and legally he can leave the hospital any time he wishes, there is nothing we can do about that."

"Are you kidding me?!" she exclaimed, "I've already explained to you the vulnerable state he is in! There is no way he should be allowed out by himself!"

"Ma'am, all you have explained to me is a twenty-seven-year-old adult who you claim has the mind of a child has left the hospital of his own accords. Regardless of his mental state, he is still legally an adult and there is nothing I can do," he said as he went back to jotting notes down in his notepad.

Lela couldn't believe what she was hearing how could they say they couldn't do anything. Sitting down at her desk, she groaned and put her head in her hands. This was absolutely ridiculous, Dan had been missing for over three hours now and during that time his absence has not only affected her but Kate and Eric as well.

When they found out Dan was missing, Eric had somehow managed to lock his bedroom door and refused to talk to anyone. They had to bring in a maintenance man to unlock the door for them. So now Eric was in tied to his bed because his doctor was worried he might hurt himself.

Eric was not the only one being confined either. When Kate had found out, Lela thought she was going to be ok. That is until thirty minutes later when a nurse came screaming down the halls for a doctor. Apparently, Kate had been hiding a razor blade in her room and Dan's disappearance had upset her so much she had to hurt herself. Lucky it hadn't been too deep but it had been deep enough that she needed stitches and was now tied down to her bed as well. 

Lela was startled from her thoughts as her phone rang. "Hello?" A smile spread across her face. "Thank god. Yes, thank you so much for telling me." She sighed in relief as she hung up the phone. The officer looking at her questioningly.

"They found Dan! Apparently, he went to his apartment where their landlady found him and called the hospital." Without the officer's expression changing, he said, "Oh good, we found him."

Lela glared at him, biting her tongue to resort back that he hadn't done anything. Ten or so minutes later, a soft knock on her door had her attention. "Come in," she yelled.

A nurse ushered Dan into the room. "Dan! There you are! We were all so worried about you!" she rushed, pulling him into a hug. If she hadn't been so relieved to see him, the scene would be quite comical. Herself being only five feet tall standing on her tippy toes to hug a six-foot-three man.

"Sorry, Mummy," he mumbled into her shoulder.

Pulling away, she looked him straight in the eyes. "Danny, you can't be doing that anymore, you understand me?"

"But I wanted to see Daddy and you were being mean," he whined.

Her face was serious, calculating. "Daniel, you want to see your daddy again, right?"He nodded his head excitedly. "Well, I'll tell you what. We are going to keep working as hard as we can and I promise you that you will see him again."

Dan lit up with excitement. "Really?!" he squealed, clapping his hands together.

Lela didn't know what the future held but what she did know was she was going to help Dan and together they were going to save Phil Lester.


	28. Chapter 28

All things considered, Phil felt like he'd settled into the prison lifestyle pretty well. Boston wasn't the most friendly of people but he wasn't a jerk either. The worst parts were the twice-daily shakedowns the security guards did. They checked everything from the bolts holding the bars in place to the cracks in the wall. Prisoners were stripped of their clothes, and, if they were a known threat, they were given a cavity search. Thankfully, Phil had managed to avoid them so far; he wasn't super comfortable with the idea of something in his butt, hence why he was a top.

Phil shuffled along the grimy floors, sliding his food trey along the metal rails. He nodded to the grumpy looking cook, signalling he wanted some potatoes. The food wasn't actually all that terrible. It was no five-star restaurant but it wasn't the slop you'd expect. And the chefs were actually kind - albeit exhausted and overworked - people. Phil had applied for one program since he was sentenced. He helped cook meals in the kitchen and earned some cash from that. Boston had made sure he'd hid that well as prisoners tended to steal it, hence why most spent their earnings as soon as they received the payment.

"Phil, how are you holding up, Dear?" his mother asked, wrapping her arms tight around his quickly slimming frame. His father, who was usually not a touchy-feely person, also pulled him into a warm hug. Phil melted in their embraces, enjoying the feeling of being loved.

"I'm surviving," Phil answered, pulling the metal chair out and taking a seat. "How's Dan?" That was always his first thought when he woke up and his last when he went to sleep. Dan. The love of his life. God, he hoped he was getting better. Lela was an amazing doctor, even if Phil wasn't particularly fond of her anymore. After all, it was her fault Phil was charged to begin with. He wasn't one to dwell on the past or hold something against someone, but this wasn't his past, this was his present.

"He's getting better day by day," his mum answered, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand. She was aware he'd escaped a few days prior as she'd been calling to check up on him every day or two. Still, she couldn't think of any reason for Phil know about the incident.

The family talked for a little longer but Phil's allocated visitation only lasting for a half-hour every week. He hugged his parent's goodbye before turning back into the grey grey grey of the prison. They'd done up the visitation area, likely so the guests wouldn't know how dreary of a place it actually was.

Phil didn't believe his mother when she said Dan was well. She only ever squeezed his hand when she was lying, a habit she herself had never picked up on. Phil's only thoughts consisted of questioning just how bad Dan's situation was if she felt the need to lie about it.

"Excuse me, would I be able to make a phone call?" he asked, looking at the guard who was escorting him back to his cell. The particular guard was one of the nicer ones, not pushing him around if he walked a little slower than the others.

"Who to?" she asked.

"One of my friends. She was due to have a baby this week and I want to check up on her." He didn't know why he lied, he just felt they wouldn't let him call the hospital to check on Dan himself. And besides, if he chose his words carefully, they'd never know.

The guard nodded so Phil thanked her as she led him over to the phone booths.

"Phil typed in the number for Lela's office that he'd memorised a while ago and she picked up on the fourth ring.

"Hello, Doctor Lela Miller from Riverside Medical Psychiatric Hospital speaking. How may I help you?"

"Lela, it's Phil. How are you?" he asked.

"Phil- wha- how are you calling?"

"The guard let me. How's the baby?"

"The what? Oh- are you talking about Dan?"

"Aww, it's a boy? Congrats. How is he?"

"Oh Phil, what kind of mess are you getting yourself into over there?" A sigh. "Dan's going okay. He doesn't like the hypnosis therapy we're doing at the moment so he ran away. Carol, your landlady, had to call to get a nurse to bring him back. He'd worked his way back to your flat all alone. We're taking a small break but there isn't much else we can do." Phil was about to reply as he looked up and saw the guard tap her wrist even though there was no watch there. Phil nodded, turning back to the small keypad of numbers.

"Keep an eye on him, please."

"Of course, how are you going, Phil?" she asked. Always so considerate.

"I'm okay. Listen, I've got to go now, please look after him till I can get out."

"I will, goodbye, Phil. Good luck."

"Thanks."

Phil put the phone back on its stand and turned to the guard.

"A boy?" she asked as they started walking.

"Yeah," Phil answered, not sure what else to say.

~~~~

After her phone call with Phil, Lela was left quite confused. What she knew for certain though was that Phil was changing and she wasn't so sure they were good changes.

She sighed, standing from her seat and shutting her laptop. She needed to go visit Dan again and see if he was willing to try hypnosis again. Ever since the nurse had brought him back, he'd been silent. He'd spoken a little when Lela had first seen him but since then, he'd refused to say or do anything. Lela was worried they'd have to start tube-feeding him soon.

She'd been checking in with Kate's and Eric's doctors too, seeing as they'd both had a bad reaction to Dan's little disappearing act. Kate was doing better, choosing to talk out her problems rather than let them bleed out.

Eric, on the other hand, was still stuck in relapse. He'd been unbound to see how he'd go once Dan returned and while the boy hadn't attempted to hurt himself again, he was still refusing to eat anything. When he'd first arrived, he'd eat a bite of an apple every few days, thinking that was more than he was allowed. His doctor, Madison, had helped him with his coping mechanisms, teaching him that food wasn't the enemy and that there were other, healthier ways to handle everything that life threw at him.

After Dan's expedition, Eric had retreated back to day one. He ate nothing and screamed if anyone came close with a needle. Lela knew they'd have to sedate him in his sleep and force-feed him soon. None of the doctor's liked doing it but if it was necessary, they'd do it.

"Hi, Danny," Lela said, taking a step into his and Eric's room after opening the door. Eric was asleep on his bed, likely passed out from the lack of nutrients in his body. There wasn't anything they could do. Hospital policy stating the patient must eat abnormally (and to the extent that it was dangerous) for one week before force-feeding could be introduced.

Dan blinked his eyes open. He was curled up on his bed, the fetal position. His eyes landed on her but he didn't show any sign of recognition. "Danny, how are you feeling?"

Dan continued to show no sign that he knew she was there. He just looked straight ahead, his teddy cuddled tight into his chest.

Lela sat there, talking for a few minutes with no reaction.

Later that night, when the doctors were coming in to move Eric to the emergency ward, Lela tagged along. She wanted to make sure that if Eric woke up and put up a fight, Dan would be stable throughout. It hadn't been hard to get Doctor Madison to agree, the lady knowing how poor Dan's state was at the time.

Eric had indeed woken up. Once his eyes focussed on the nurses and doctors in the room, he scrambled up from his bed. Shouting for them to get away from him. Madison would later inform Lela that it was because of his childhood that he was expecting to be hurt.

Lela comforted Dan as Eric screamed and kicked, begging to be let go. Dan had began panicking too, not understanding why his friend was being threatened. As Madison stepped forward, needle in hand, Dan escaped from Lela's grip and jumped in front of Eric.

"Don't hurt him!" Dan shouted, eyes wide with fear but also bravery. In his childlike mindset, Dan hated confrontation and actively avoided it. Now, however, he was standing up and attempting to protect his friend. He didn't understand that the doctors didn't mean any harm. All he knew was that Eric was begging to be left alone and the people in the room were not listening to his pleas. Lela had two of the extra nurses restrain Dan while she prepared a needle for him. She knew there was no point in even trying to calm Dan down; sedation was the only option. She quickly injected the needle's substance and helped move him back to his bed as Eric had the same injection.

Dan lay on his bed, arms and legs strapped down so he couldn't move when he awoke. Eric was removed from the room, carried on a stretcher down to the emergency ward for the feeding tube he'd receive in little over twelve hours.

While Lela was anything but happy with the situation, she was glad Dan had some kind of reaction. It showed he was still in there, still fighting and still himself.


	29. Chapter 29

After the incident with Eric and with them having to sedate Dan, Dan had become quite reclusive and shut-in again. He would only speak to Kate and Eric (whose medication had been adjusted and he seemed to be doing much better) but even when he talked to them, it was just whispering. He would refuse to share during group therapy, spending the entire time clutching Pooh bear to his chest looking down at his feet, which were resting on the edge of the chair, with a vacant expression in his eyes.

A few days after the incident, Lela had received another surprise phone call from Phil. She had no idea how he was able to make phone calls to the hospital as she figured the prison would ban any contact between the two men.

The call had been quick but she could tell from his voice Phil was not doing well. She had to keep reminding herself that Phil was not her patient and her sole focus needed to be on Dan. Of course, she wanted to help the other man and if helping him went along with helping Dan then great, but she was not going to go out of her way to help him.

~~~~

Lela jingled the door handle making sure it was locked so they wouldn't have a repeat of last time.

"Ok, Danny do you remember what we discussed a few days ago?" She questioned him as she sat down at her desk.

Dan shook his head. Sighing, she reminded him that they were going to be doing something he didn't like but they were things that could help his daddy. "Do you understand now?" she asked after finishing her explanation.

Still not looking her in the eyes and clutching his bear to his chest, he nodded his head.

"Ok, that's great, Danny! Let's get started. I want you to lay down and get comfortable."

Without saying a word, Dan obeyed her request.

Lela took him through the process of being put under hypnosis again and once she was satisfied he was completely under, she began.

"Ok, Dan I want you to remember the cabin."

Lela was met with silence.

"Do you remember the cabin that Sir's took you to, Danny?" she tried again.

Dan whimpered and breathed out a pained, "Yes."

"Very good, Dan. Now tell me, what do you remember?"

"Pain; lots of pain," he whined.

"What kind of pain Dan? Can you explain it to me?" she pushed.

Whimpering again, "All over, it hurts all over."

Lela quickly jotted down a few notes in her journal before returning her attention back to Dan.

"Dan, I need you to be more specific. What kind of pain are you referring to?"

"Sir...couldn't move... other Sir… hurt in my bum," he groaned, tears starting to slide from his eyes.

Lela wrote that down. The police had already confirmed Dan was raped the first time while in captivity but the fact he was remembering was a good thing.

"Ok Dan, that's very good. Can you tell me anything else you remember?"

The boy whimpered again, "I… I don't…. I dunno."

"That's ok Dan, let's move on." she jotted some more stuff down and accidentally knocked the glass of water she had sitting on her desk down.

"Shit!" she swore, desperately trying to save the papers on her desk from being ruined. The water poured off the desk, soaking the carpet.

But she was pulled from her thoughts and stopped what she was doing instantly when she heard Dan scream.

"Stop! It hurts! Please!" he sobbed.

She sprung into action, "What hurts, Dan? Stop what?"

Dan did respond, instead, his body started to violently convulse. Not sure what was going on or what to do, she attempted to bring the boy out of his hypnotic state.

"Ok Dan, when I get to three you will no longer be there but instead back in my office in the hospital. Ok?" She's not even sure why she asked, she knew he wasn't going to respond.

"One." Dan momentarily stopped convulsing to start back up only seconds later "Two. Three."

The moment she hit three everything stopped and the room went quiet.

"Danny, are you alright?" she questioned hesitantly, putting her hand on his knee. Dan's eyelids fluttered open. "Lela?" he slurred out. "What's going on?"

Lela was shocked, this most definitely was not the voice she had become accustomed to over the last few months.

"D-Dan? Is that you?" she stammered.

Dan's eyes were unfocused and foggy but he managed to pull himself up into a seated position.

"Of course it is. Who else would it be?" he chuckled.

Lela knew she had to proceed carefully. "Dan, do you remember anything from the last few weeks?"

"Of course, I'm in the hospital right?"

Lela nodded her head in confirmation.

"And, and Phil was here yesterday, right?" he asked, now uncertain.

So Dan didn't remember anything from Phil's last visit, including the trial. The last time Phil had visited, was around a month and a half, nearly two months ago.

"Dan, I'm so sorry. That was over a month ago, a lot has happened during that time."

Confusion clouded his eyes, "What do you mean? I want to talk to Phil, he'll explain what's going on." 

He stood up and started walking to the door. "Dan, I'm sorry I have to be the one to tell you this, but you can't call Phil and you most definitely can't see him."

Fear was evident on his face. "Why? What happened? Is he alright?" he asked, panicked. He'd started pacing in the small room, one of his hands pulling at the hair on the back of his neck.

"Dan, Phil's fine. Well, as fine as he can be for being in prison."

Dan stopped dead in his tracks and whispered, "What?"

Lela sighed. "Dan, I'm so sorry. Phil was tried and found guilty of your kidnapping and torture and-"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he shouted, his jaw and fists clenched together.

"Dan, I know this isn't what you wanted to hear but I need you to calm down," she said trying to reason with him.

"Calm down!? Calm down!? You think I'm going to calm down when my innocent boyfriend is sitting in prison!?" 

"Dan-" She was cut off by Dan picking up a little figurine she had on her desk and throwing it, causing it to smash on the floor.

Lela flinched. "Dan, I need you to stop or I'm going to have to call the nurses and they will have no choice but to sedate you."

Dan fell onto the couch. "This is fucking ridiculous," he sobbed into his hands.

Positive he was done throwing things, Lela sat down next to him and pulled him into a side-hug.

He wailed and sobbed into her shoulder, drenching her jumper with his tears, repeating the same thing over and over. "It's not fair."

"I know it's not fair Dan, but I had to call the police on him. I just didn't think it would end up like this."

Dan's body went rigid. Pulling back he glared at her with hatred, "You fucking did this?"

Startled, Lela shook her head. "I'm sorry Dan, I had too."

"You bitch!" he screeched as he flung himself away from her.

"Dan, I really didn't mean for any of this to happen," she pleaded with him.

Dan tried to open the door to escape the room, but the door wouldn't open since she had locked it before the session.

Frustrated, he started punching the door as hard as he could with his fists, new tears streaming down his face. He fell to the floor sobbing. "I want my daddy!" He"d clearly having regressed again. He sobbed into his hands as her door opened from the outside. There stood a nurse, needle in hand and ready to strike.

"What's going on?" he asked. His eyes fell to Lela sitting on the floor as well as Dan and his bloodied fists.

He was moments away from injection when Lela screamed, "No! Don't!"

"But-" the nurse tried.

"Who's the doctor here? I said no!" She pushed herself up and over to Dan, letting him sob into her clothing again.

"I got this under control, I just need help getting him to his room."

The nurse looked anything but happy but he obliged and carried Dan back to his room, with Lela following close behind.

The nurse set the now-quiet figure on to the bed. From the somewhat peaceful look on his face, Lela concluded he must be asleep.

She sighed, leaving Dan to sleep it off. She went to write her report, now being able to add water as a trigger.


	30. Chapter 30

Ever since Dan had returned to his adult mindset and then regressed back, things had, for the most part, returned to normal. Dan spoke to Lela, Eric, and Kate but it was always in a quiet, afraid voice. Lela was used to the emotional rollercoaster that was Dan when he was regressed but now he seemed rather stoic.

There had only been one incident since his slip, which was nearly a week ago now. He'd been in the canteen, eating dinner with Kate and Eric. Kate was wolfing down her food, clearly hungry, while Eric picked at (but still ate) his meal. Dan had been having the meals cooked in the children's wing, enjoying the dinosaur chicken nuggets more than the regular ones.

One of the kitchen staff had accidentally left some food in the oven a little too long, causing the smoke alarms to go off. Being the hospital that they were, sprinklers were everywhere, meaning as soon as the alarms went off, every patient was being sprayed with water.

At first, there had been no reaction, just everyone looking to the nurses to help them go where they needed to go. Though once about half the people had left the room and the other half were thoroughly drenched, Dan's screams kicked in. He was laying on the ground, twitching and shuddering and screaming the most terrible screams Lela had ever heard.

Everyone was panicked from the fire and the screams, causing all-out chaos in the psychiatric ward. One of the younger adults had ran into the kitchen, the fire triggering him to relapse and need to feel the burn. Another, more older lady, collapsed and was wheeled to the emergency ward, where it was discovered she'd suffered cardiac arrest as a result of a panic attack, her aged heart not being able to pump blood fast enough.

Eric and Kate had handled the situation pretty well, considering the kitchen was on fire and their friend was screaming on the ground looking like he was having a seizure. Lela and the other doctors were all in the room, watching for their patients to make sure they made it out safely and didn't have any relapses.

Lela was only concerned with Dan, even though she did have other patients who lived in the hospital. The other two in-patients she worked with were both well on their way to recovery and Lela had no doubt they'd be able to handle the situation properly. Dan, on the other hand, couldn't.

She ran up to him, slamming her knees into the tiled floor as she climbed onto the floor.

"Dan? Dan can you hear me?" she tried, getting absolutely no response. "Dan! I need you to wake up now, you'll feel really light and on the count of three, you'll be fully awake. Okay? One, two, three."

Dan lay still, the shaking stopping. He didn't open his eyes though and a minute after he'd stilled, the convulsing picked up worse than it was before. Between the screams, Dan was begging for it to stop. Lela had no idea what to do, the bring him from hypnosis hadn't worked, not that Dan was under at the moment. She signalled a nurse over, knowing there was no other option but to sedate him. She felt she did this a lot, and she really did, but sometimes there was no other option. Like now, if she left Dan to himself, who knew what kind of damage - physical or mental - it could cause. No, sedating Dan, while seeming horrible, was best for him.

~~~~

Louise packed her small handbag and climbed into the car, turning the ignition as she adjusted the rear-view mirror. She was heading towards HM Wandsworth Penitentiary, the prison where Phil was being kept. It had been two weeks since the end of the trial and Phil's parents had visited him in the first week. They had said she could visit along with another friend the next week, knowing Phil would want to see his friends again. Pj was meeting her there, each living on opposite sides of the prison.

"Hi, Love," she said, pulling Pj into a hug.

"Hey, Lou," Pj replied. They turned towards the prison, sparing a glance with each other before they began walking towards the big sign that read 'visitation'. "How do you think he's going?"

"I honestly don't know," Louise replied. "I'd like to say he's perfectly fine but you and I both know Phil is too soft for prison. I'm worried he will have become a punching bag by this point."

"Don't think like that," Pj scolded lightly, holding the door open for Louise to enter the cool building. 

"Who are you here to see?" a guard asked, holding his hand out before they could walk through to the area where Phil would be waiting.

"Phil, Philip Lester," Pj answered, his friend's full name sounding strange on his tongue. The man nodded and, after obtaining consent, patted them down.

Afterwards, the man said, "He's in there," stepping aside and gesturing to the room behind him.

"Lou!" a voice shouted, causing her to look towards the sound, seeing a fully grown man, with tears in his eyes, walking quickly towards her. "Peej! God, am I glad to see you." After hugging them both tight, he led them to the table he'd been allocated and took a seat.

"I thought you might have not come," Phil said, looking down. "I didn't hurt Dan, I swear. I never wanted any of-"

"Phil," he was cut off by Louise, her hand going to rest on top of his. "We know you're innocent. You don't need to explain yourself to us. We know you love Dan, don't worry, Love," she said, giving him a hopefully comforting smile.

"How is he?" Phil asked. He felt like he was saying that a lot, but it couldn't be anywhere near as much as he was thinking it.

"Let's not talk about him, Phil. How are you holding up?" Pj suddenly said, sending a wary glance in Louise's view.

Phil furrowed his brows. He didn't like how his friends were just brushing off his question. Had something happened? At least when his parents had told him he was good he'd got an answer. He'd known it was a lie but at least they'd tried.

"Please, I need to know how he is," Phil tried, desperate to know how his boyfriend was.

Pj sighed, running a hand over his face. "He's scared, Phil. He's so scared and the doctors don't know what to do anymore. He's started screaming when water comes near him and it's not like it's something he can avoid forever, he needs to drink it for fuck's sake." Louise put her hand on his shoulder, calming him. "I know you weren't there and didn't have anything to do with it, but do you have any ideas why Dan would be scared of water?"

_ "Ready for some fun?" Sir asked, grinning as he brandished a taser and the familiar blade Phil had been using on Dan's skin for the past couple of days. _

_ "Please, just let us go," Phil tried, knowing it was pointless. It was basically routine at this point. Beg Sir to let them go, eat whatever drugged food Phil was being made to have that day, then carve the words into Dan and wait for him to pass out from blood loss. It always ended then, Sir didn't seem to see the point in carving the words if Dan wasn't conscious of the pain. _

_ Today was different from those days though; a taser had never been involved before and Phil felt sick just thinking about what could happen with it. _

_ They went through the unfortunately usual routine. Phil ate, quickly losing control of his limbs, and then was dragged over to Dan's limp body. _

_ "Hi love, you're a good boy, remember that for me, can you?" Dan sobbed and shook, nodding despite himself. _

_ The new word began to form itself into Dan's perfect light-brown skin. The 'o's hurt the most. After the words  _ 'good fuck' _ were finished being carved, Sir moved Phil's hand back over the circles. He placed the blade in Phil's hand at the top and slowly started cutting down as if he were cutting some meat for dinner. The bright red of the muscle under Dan's skin was clearly sore, blood dripping from it as his stomach convulsed, the muscle abused and not used to the torture. _

_ "I'll help with this part," Sir laughed, picking up two squares from the bed and putting them over the two open bits of skin. At first, Phil was confused, thinking they were bandaids, until he realised he was very, very wrong. Little wires hooked up to the pads, making Dan look similar to how he had when he'd first arrived at the hospital after being rescued. _

_ "Here you go," Sir said, dropping a device into Phil's lap and causing the cords to tug on Dan's tender stomach. _

_ "Now Danny, I want you to beg. Remember how much you enjoyed this last time, princess? It'll be even better this time, I promise." The words ‘last time' rung in Phil's ears as Dan instantly began mumbling pleas. Phil didn't think he was really aware of what he was begging for, just wanting to please Sir to maybe lessen the pain. _

_ "Well, Phil? Who are you to deny Danny what he wants?" Phil glowered as Sir leant over him, pressing his thumb to the dial to turn it up to its second-highest setting. When Phil didn't move his thumb, which he was slowly gaining control of again, Sir verbally growled. He pressed the dial-up to the highest setting and pressed Phil's thumb into the button. Dan's screams rung so loud Phil was surprised that no neighbours came to check on them. The screaming didn't stop for a minute, even after the stimulus stopped. "Suck a fucking wimp," Sir chuckled, picking up the blade again to quickly carve  _ 'wimp' _ into his skin. _

"Electrocution," Phil said suddenly. Pj and Louise exchanged looks, ones that said 'are we sure he's innocent if he answered so quickly and confidently?' "It happened in our flat. There wasn't any water but I'd bet they'd done it at the cabin with water," he explained, sad his friends actually thought he could be guilty.

They nodded, promising to share the information with Lela. Pj asked again how Phil was and he answered with his usual response, "I'm as good as I can be." They spoke for maybe half an hour longer before Louise had to get going to pick up Darcy from school. Pj said he'd better get going at the same time and Phil couldn't help but think it was because he didn't want to be in Phil's presence any longer. He knew it was mad, and that they were his friends, but his mind didn't like to listen to reason so it thought what it wanted.

Phil hugged them goodbye before heading back to his cell. Boston was getting out at the end of the week, having cleared his parole and been given early release with a good behaviour bond. Phil was sad to see him go, the man being the only 'friend' he had in the prison. He wasn't rude, kind enough to give him some advice when Phil clearly had no idea how to act in prison.

He watched as Boston was lead from the cell, no cuffs on his wrists but two guards following him. It wasn't until three days after Boston left that Phil realised exactly what that meant. He now had a private cell, it was only a matter of time until he got a new roommate.

"Hey, Lester. Long time, no see," a voice chided, causing Phil to look up into the eyes of the one and only Roger Kide.


	31. Chapter 31

Since learning from Phil the reason Dan had reacted so badly to the water, Lela had been keeping an even closer eye on him than normal. It was found out by one of the nurses that apparently this whole time Dan had been in the hospital he had been skipping showers in favour of just washing up in the sink in the bathroom instead. Dan may have been stuck in a little mindset, but Lela had to give it to him, he wasn't stupid. In fact, he'd managed to keep it hidden a lot longer then he should have been.

Dan was still refusing to go anywhere near the shower, but it was something they were working on. In the beginning, she hadn't been able to figure out why he had a problem with the sprinklers and the showers but not the water that came out of the sink but she eventually came to the conclusion that it probably had something to do with how the torture was administered. She'd allowed herself a small pat on the back at working out the reasoning behind his fears before the facts were handed to her.

Other than being afraid of water and the showering problem, Dan was actually doing exceptionally well in his therapy. Dan remembered most of what had happened during the first and second kidnapping and had painted a pretty clear picture for Lela of what had happened. After finally learning the details of the kidnappings she had contacted the police, but they were still pretty adamant that Dan was lying, and that Phil was the real mastermind.

She completely regretted contacting the police about Phil though, because she knew, or at least hoped, that he hadn't had anything to do with any of this. But after a few sessions with her own therapist she realized what she did had been right at the time, and she had Dan's best interest in mind. 

~~~~

"So Dan, how are we today?"

"Good!" he answered back happily.

It had become more common to see Dan happy recently. He still had episodes of uncontrollable sobbing or fits of rage, especially after he was told for the millionth time that he could not see Phil, but it had gotten better. Coping skills were something that Lela had been working the hardest on recently, which is probably why Dan seemed much happier. After exploring many different avenues they discovered that Dan responded extremely well to colouring and drawing. He currently carried paper and crayons with him everywhere he went, and when he started to feel sad or upset, he'd draw what was troubling him as Lela had instructed. It seemed to do the trick and it has also helped his general therapy progress.

"Do you have any new pictures for me today Dan?" She asked after noticing that he had a few pieces of paper in his hands.

"Yeah, I drew these for you today."

She took the pages from Dan and flicked through them. Most of were pretty normal pictures of Dan being separated from Phil, but the last one caught her attention. It was a picture of what looked like Dan. He was in what she assumed to be the room he had been kept in one of his kidnappings, but instead of being alone, there was another person in the room with him. The drawing was crude and messier than the others, making it hard to distinguish any details.

"Is this Sir?" she asked Dan, pointing to the picture.

Dan shook his head no.

"Well who is it then, Dan?" she asked him, confused as to who else it would be.

"I can't tell you," he mumbled.

Lela frowned, a bit uneasy at his refusal. "Why can't you tell me, Danny?" she asked, using his nickname in a hope that it would get him to open up.

Dan looked absolutely terrified. "Sir's said I'm never allowed to talk about it or I would go away just like he did," Dan whispered. 

It was then that it hit Lela. Dan may not have been Conray and Kide's first or only kidnapping.

She brought her suspicion up to the police and they said they would look into it, but she could tell that they thought she was lying. She had actually been so frustrated with the lack of interest with the police she had actually blown up and shouted at the police officer, which only resulted in him threatening to have her arrested. She continued to try and get more information from Dan, but he refused to acknowledge her when she brought the subject up. Despite the lack of information from Dan, his therapy was still going strong. They had reached the point where he would shower if the spray was very light, more of a mist than an actual shower. The moment it was turned up, however, he would react the same way he had in the canteen.

Along with the small progress in showering, he had also made progress in other areas. He was now finally realizing that he didn't need to be hurt every time someone was upset with him or when he did something wrong. He had also seemed to begin grasping the concept that what had happened to him was not his fault. He still had his bad days where he refused to believe it was anyone's fault but his, but those days were slowly becoming less frequent and less severe. 

She hadn't been able to contact Phil to let him know of Dan's progress but had been assured by Phil's mother that she would pass the information along to him. And since Dan was doing so well, Lela thought that he might be able to go home within the next few months provided he continued to do well with his therapy. It had been arranged with Phil's mum that Dan would be going to stay with her after he was discharged.

This had been decided after a very heated and unpleasant conversation Lela had had with Dan's own parents; they were under the same assumption of the police that Dan was faking his regression and lying about the whole thing. In fact, they had even had the nerve to tell her that Dan deserved what he had gotten for being the way that he was. The conversation didn't go anywhere after that as Lela had promptly kicked them out of her office. 

She had not heard from them nor had they come back to visit Dan after that, not that she would have let them see him had they shown up anyway. She was afraid it would send him spiralling back and undo the progress they had made. They had made so much good progress that Lela hoped she could bring Dan out of his regressed state with hypnosis. They weren't quite there yet, but if things kept going like they were, it was a strong possibility in the near future.

~~~~

Lela sighed as she walked through the front doors of the hospital. God was she tired. She had ended up staying late last night because one of her other patients, Rick, had tried to commit suicide. 

"Morning, Kelly." She smiled at the young woman behind the nurses' reception desk.

"Morning, Doctor!" she replied, much too enthusiastically for an early morning like this. Still, Lela smiled back, pretending she didn't want to turn around and go back home to the comfort of her bed.

"How many times have I told you to call me Lela," she teased at the younger. 

"Sorry Doctor- I mean Lela. Most doctors get upset when we use anything other than Doctor when talking to them."

Lela sighed again, she knew several doctors that thought they were above everyone else and were adamant that they should be treated as such.

"Well, I'm ok with you calling me Lela."

"Ok Lel-" 

"We have a thirty-one-year-old man with severe head trauma and possible internal bleeding coming into the ambulance bay!" a nurse said, poking her head from around the corner. "They need all the help they can get!"

Kelly sprang into action. "Sorry I have to go!" She sprinted off towards the ambulance bay.

Things like this were normal in a hospital, and even though she was a psychiatric doctor, she had still seen her fair share of A&E horrors during her residency. Normally she would continue on her way up to her office, but something in her gut told her to stay.

Lela followed the direction the nurses had taken to the ambulance bay but found the new patient being rushed into a surgery room. There were several doctors and nurses that started to frantically work on the young man on the table. Lela tried to get a proper glimpse of his face but was unable to between how fast he was being wheeled away from her and the damage that was done to his face. From what she could see, the man was lucky to be alive. There wasn't an inch of skin that wasn't covered in bruises or blood, he looked absolutely horrific.

"What's the patient's name?" the nurse taking information asked.

"Philip Lester," a police officer said, attempting to walk into the room.

"Sir, you can't be back here!" one of the nurses shouted at him.

"This man is coming from penitentiary; it's my job to stay with him."

"He's being prepped for emergency surgery. No outside personnel is allowed in the surgery room. If you want to wait outside you can, but I need you to leave," she said, pushing him out of the room on her way to fetch something for one of the doctors. The officer grumbled, but he didn't try to enter again and stood off to the side with who was probably his partner.

Lela couldn't believe her ears. The man in there was Phil? She attempted to get a better look but was blocked by a nurse. 

"Fucking faggot deserved it," she heard one of the police officers say to the other.

His uniform identified him as Officer White. She couldn't help but wonder if he had had anything to do with this.


	32. Chapter 32

Dan was tired, insanely so. He couldn't sleep and he didn't know why. It was two hours after dinner and he was still wide awake. Eric and Kate had started putting him to bed earlier, saying he needed the extra sleep. He knew not to argue or Phil would give him a punishment. Not that he'd seen Phil recently.

Either way, it was an hour after his bedtime, and he was still wide awake. When he closed his eyes, he remembered the pictures of disfigured faces, young boys who, like Dan, had made the mistake of following their heart instead of their brain.

Even though he was meant to be sleeping, he pulled out his paper and crayons. Twenty minutes later, he'd finished three drawings, each of a different boy, the same mangled faces and limbs. He clutched Pooh into his arms as he climbed out of bed, the slightly crumpled papers in his other hand. He wanted Lela, she'd know what to do, she always helped when he wasn't feeling good.

He wandered through the empty quiet corridors, occasionally a nurse running past or some other patients walking towards their rooms. A hand wrapped around his upper arm and he squealed, trying to wiggle away.

"Hey, hey it's okay," the voice said calmly, grip loosening on his arm.

"Want Mummy," he mumbled in reply, tears already beginning to slip down his cheeks. He didn't know this person. She was dressed in a blue button-down shirt and blue pants, making her seem like a nurse, but Dan knew appearances could be deceiving. Sir had seemed nice when he offered Dan the puppy.

"I can take you to her," the woman said but Dan shook his head.

"No," he mumbled, pulling his arm from her now-loose grip. "Leave me alone!"

Dan took off and ran through the hallway, turning different corners that seemed vaguely familiar but he knew weren't really.

"Whoa, Dan, slow down," someone said, Eric.

"Where Mummy!?" Dan demanded.

"Danny, calm down, okay? I'll take you to Lela," he said carefully.

Dan linked his hand with Eric and swung them as they walked towards the offices.

Eric knocked on the door for them and waited. It became clear Lela wasn't in her office and Eric hoped she hadn't left to go home yet. She didn't usually leave until after Dan had gone to sleep, just to make sure there were no complications. Of course, Dan was supposed to be asleep by this point. Eric hoped he didn't have to turn to the night staff. There was nothing wrong with them directly, they just didn't really have much experience with Dan and tended to treat him like the adult he appeared to be.

An army of nurses rushed past them at that point and Dan insisted they followed. Eric didn't argue, knowing it was the quickest way to a tantrum. And besides, what harm could come from following the nurses?

~~~~

_ Two Hours Earlier… _

Phil blinked his tired eyes open. The room was dark, only a small lamp on in the corner. His eyes focussed and he saw two guards in the room, one guarding the door and the other by the window. He instinctively tried to pull his hands up to rub the sleep from his eyes but was met with the cold resistance of metal handcuffs. He groaned, dropping his head back onto the pillow. He couldn't even remember how he ended up here; his head throbbed with every thought he had.

Surely this wasn't solitary. It was much too comfortable, with the bed and lamp. Besides, why would there be a window and what appeared to be a regular door in a solitary cell? It'd been a long time since Phil had seen something so simple, something with no locks. Without his control, tears came to his eyes. He didn't understand why something as simple as a door could bring tears to his eyes. And his head hated it too if the knives stabbing his brain were anything to go by.

There was a knock at the door and it swung open, causing a large wave of light to swim into the room. He hissed before coughing, his throat burning all the while.

"Ah, Mr Lester, you're awake," a too-kind voice said. He nodded his head a little, informing the mysterious voice that he could hear them.

"I'm Dr Mander. How are you feeling?" the woman stepped closer and Phil watched with sore eyes as she adjusted some of the wires and machinery.

He made a rumbling sound low in his throat, hoping to warm it up enough that he could speak with slightly less pain. It didn't work. "Bad," he choaked out, puffing as he did so. Breathing was getting steadily harder to do and it was scaring him.

"You're breathing is rather staggered. Does it hurt?" the doctor observed, looking at the diagram that was measuring his pulse and breathing.

"Yeah," he breathed out, hoping she could hear him.

"I'll call a nurse to bring in some stronger pain medication for you," she responded. She pressed a few buttons on the machines and pulled her walkie-talkie to her mouth, asking for a morphine bag to be brought to room 372.

He'd gathered that he was in a hospital as soon as she'd introduced herself but that didn't mean he understood why he was here. It must have been bad; Phil had witnessed people being beaten to a pulp before while guards stood there pretending not to notice. To take him to the hospital, not even the prison infirmary, meant that whatever happened to him must have been severe.

"So, do you remember why you're here?" the doctor asked, taking a seat after scribbling onto the clipboard in her hand.

He shook his head, not wanting to have to verbalise anything. The nurse had come in and changed out his fluid bag but according to Dr Mander, that wasn't the morphine bag.

"Officer White, would you mind explaining what happened so Mr Lester can remember?"

The man by the door, who Phil now knew was Officer White, ran his fingers through his light hair, sighing loudly. "He got beat up. Don't know what else there is to say," he explained. It wasn't much help really.

"White, don't be like that," the other guard who was no longer by the window said. "Phil, you got ganged. During pre-dinner free time, Kide and his gang found you while we think you were on your way to the showers. We don't really know what happened since no guards were there but they definitely did some damage," he explained.

"Thank you, Officer Jewel," the doctor said.

"Yeah, thank you," Officer White added. He didn't sound as sincere though; his tone told Phil it was most likely sarcastic.

~~~~

"Mummy!" Dan shouted, letting go of Eric's hand and running up to Lela.

"Hi, Danny. What are you doing still awake?" she asked.

"Couldn't sleep," he mumbled, face still pressed into her shoulder.

"What have you got here?" she asked, gesturing to the papers he held.

"Drawings!" he said suddenly, excited. "For you!" He held out the pictures and Lela couldn't help but feel a little sick.

"And who are these, Dan?"

"Can't say."

Lela shooed Eric away with a smile and began leading Dan to her office.

"And why is that?"

"Hurt like them if say," Dan explained. That was what he'd said the past two times he'd given her drawing of people and she'd asked the same questions.

Lela unlocked her office door, annoyed that she couldn't go home and sleep but she knew she had to get to the bottom of this first.

"I'd like to do another session with you, Dan," she said carefully. He'd mostly gotten used to the hypnosis again but that didn't mean he never argued.

"Okay, Mummy!" Dan agreed happily this time, lying down on the couch and cuddling Pooh to his chest.

"Ready?"

"Yes, Mummy," Dan responded, already closing his eyes.

And so she began the steps to take him into his subconscious. Speaking light and airy, allowing him to travel deeper and deeper into his mind. When she had her papers ready and she was sure Dan was deep in his subconscious, she began the questioning.

"I want you to go back to the cabin, Dan," she whispered, forming a dot on her page. "Are you there?"

"Uh-huh," Dan mumbled.

"Do you remember seeing anyone else when you were there? Any boys or girls like you?"

"In pictures," he said. "Was alone most the time. Unless Sir-" he cut off.

"Unless Sir what?" she prodded.

"Sir hurt," he whimpered.

"Okay. We don't have to talk about that, okay? Do you know who the people in the pictures were?"

"No," he whispered, clutching Pooh impossibly closer to his chest.

"Can you describe them for me?"

"Uh-huh," Dan agreed. Lela quickly set up her phone to record this. "One boy with curly hair. Green eyes. Like Peej but darker," Dan said. "Two boy, twin. Me twin." Lela sighed. Dan really wasn't making much sense and his descriptions would do no good to the artists at the police station. "Three. Three girl." Dan shivered. "She gone. Like one 'n' two."

"What do you mean by gone?"

"No air. Air no go in body," Dan said. Lela watched to make sure Dan was breathing and he was.

"Do you mean they were dead?"

"Mhm," Dan hummed. "Sir do same to me if no find."

"If we didn't find you Sir would have killed you?"

"Uh-huh, he says kill me," Dan whimpered.

"Are you sure you don't remember any of the kids' names?"

Dan shivered again, face contorting as he presumably remembered something.

"Nico. Nico Howell."


	33. Chapter 33

The moment the name Nico Howell left Dan's lips, Lela had sprung into action. She'd alerted the proper authorities and everything since had been a whirlwind. The police were now taking Dan more seriously since they actually had a name to go off of, a name that had its own police case. Although Nico was presumed a now-deceased runaway, the new information had forced the case to reopen. Police were now combing the wooded area around the cabin, hoping to find evidence to add to the young boy's case. 

Two weeks after beginning their search, they finally discovered the bodies. It had the whole city in a frenzy. Families flooded the police station, desperate to know if one of the found bodies was a missing loved one.

Despite various missing-person investigations being reopened, nothing had really changed for Dan. Lela had avoided mentioning anything about the investigation to him since he really wasn't in the mindset to understand. The only thing that had really changed was that Dan was now well enough that he was able to go home. Well, as close to home as he could. Dan was not being allowed to go back to their apartment since it was now a crime scene again, not to mention Dan really wasn't able to take care of himself anyway so they'd settled on Phil's mum taking him in.

Since Dan's parents wanted nothing to do with him, Katherine had rented an apartment in London close to the hospital so Dan could be close to Lela. It was something she'd been thinking about anyway after the five-week-long hotel bill came through. At that point, Dan didn't argue anymore about Phil, so he had just shrugged his shoulders and clammed up when he'd been told this.

Dan yawned as he wiped the sleep from his eyes. He looked around the room for Eric and when he couldn't find him he pouted with confusion. Eric was always here when he woke up, he was the one who walked him to breakfast. Dan grabbed Pooh-Bear and made his way to the cafeteria hoping maybe Eric had just gotten up early.

He rounded the corner into the cafeteria. His eyes widened, there were a few balloons and streamers hung as well as a piece of paper that read  _ 'Congratulations Danny!' _ and underneath it sat Eric, Kate, and Lela. Dan giggled and squealed with excitement.

"Dan, do you understand what this is all for?" Lela asked him as she enveloped him in a hug.

"Is it cause Pooh-Bear and I get to go home?"

She smiled. "That's right! You've made enough progress that you're going home today."

"But not home with Daddy?" he asked in a small but hopeful voice.

"But not home with daddy," she confirmed.

Dan sighed and he hugged Pooh-Bear closer.

"Dan, there's another surprise for you!" Kate said clapping her hands together.

Glad that Kate had taken the attention away from Phil, Lela let Kate continue.

"Hi, Love," Louise said as she awkwardly stepped out from behind one of the doors.

"Lou-Lou!" he squealed.

Dan had spent plenty of time with Louise while in little space before everything happened so the age regression wasn't much different.

Dan ran up to her and squeezed her. "It's been a while, huh Love?"

"Uh-huh," he said, gripping her tighter.

Dan and Louise spent several minutes hugging and just enjoying each other presence. It had been so long since the two had even seen each other. Before Dan had been kidnapped, if Louise was remembering correctly. But it didn't take long for the conversation to take a turn and Dan was asking her about Phil. Lela had given her strict instructions to not mention Phil, or the investigation, as she didn't want it to disrupt his progress. She tried her best to redirect the conversation but Dan was persistent. Louise was just in the process of telling Dan for the fifth time she hadn't talked to Phil when she breathed out a sigh of relief. His attention was diverted to Lela who came walking out with a cake.

They spent the rest of the afternoon eating (even Eric had a small piece, which everyone was very happy about), playing games and talking. By the end, there were tears from everyone involved. Both Eric and Kate promise to visit once they were out and although Dan didn't quite understand why they couldn't leave, he didn't put up quite as much of a fight as Lela had expected him to. Before she knew it, Dan was in the back of a cab with Kathryn, leaving the hospital.

~~~~

"This has got to be enough for another trial," Luke said, slapping the paperwork down on the desk in front of his superior officer.

"Officer Temple, I really don't see how this is any of your business."

"Sir, if I'm right, an innocent man is in prison! It's my duty to take whatever information I have and turn it over to the judge!" Luke said, clearly getting frustrated at his superior's lack of interest.

"Let me tell you this, Temple, if you take that to the Judge then your out of a job mate. This precinct doesn't need any more bad publicity."

"Fine!" Luke shouted grabbing the papers off the desk and storming out of the office.

~~~~

Phil spent the next two weeks in the hospital being pumped full of medication and slowly healing from his injuries. The whole time he was still chained to the bed and always had guards with him but he had to admit it was still better than being actually in locked up in prison. The food was decent and the doctors were nice and he actually got to watch TV and have a little bit of privacy even if that privacy was a non-locking door on the bathroom.

Phil knew any day now he would be getting the ok from the doctor, telling him he was ok to go back to prison and he was absolutely dreading that day. He was not looking forward to going back, period, but he  _ really _ wasn't looking forward to going back to kide and his gang. Ever since Kide had become his cellmate, every second had become a constant fight for his life. He was constantly being jumped and it had gotten so bad he hardly slept at night in fear that Kide would beat him up or rape him in his sleep.

There was a knock at his door and Phil expected Doctor Mandor to stick their head through. However, when the door opened, he was instead met with a kind looking officer.

"Officer Temple, what a surprise," he said, shocked.

"Phil," he nodded before he stepped in.

The room was uncomfortably quiet for a moment before Phile spoke.

"So, um, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, right. I've come to tell you some big news. I've just talked to the judge and they're willing to reopen your case!"

"Wait, what? Why?" Phil asked.

And so, much to the guards' distaste, Luke told him about how they had found bodies buried in the woods around the cabin and how one of them had been Nico Howell. He explained that he pointed out to a judge that those missing people couldn't have been Phil's fault because they had gone missing while Phil lived in Manchester. The entire time Phil was completely shocked to the core and didn't know what to say. When he did finally say something it was, "So I get to go home? I get to see Dan?"

There was nothing but happiness on his face and it almost killed Luke to have to crush it. "No, Phil, sorry. You still have to go back to prison. Your sentence is being upheld until a new verdict is come to."

Phil was crushed. While he was grateful for the new trial, all he really wanted was to go home. Still, they talked for a few more minutes before Luke left and Phil was once again alone. But he wasn't alone for long because not more than ten minutes late doctor Mandor came in and told him he was well enough to go back to prison and just get check-ups in the infirmary there.


	34. Chapter 34

"Are you comfortable?" Kathryn asked for the twenty-seventh time since the two had arrived home just over an hour ago. Dan, as happy as he was to be out of the hospital, didn't quite know what to do with himself.

At the hospital, it had been a reasonably strict schedule, free time here, appointments there. Now all twenty-four hours of the day were free for him to do what he wished. And, well, he wasn't sure what he wished.

"Why don't you do some colouring?" Kathryn asked, still fussing over him. She hadn't left his side since they got home, determined to have something for him to do before she went off to make dinner.

"Okay," Dan agreed, laying his hand on top of the book pile and sliding one off. As any mother would for a young child, she had spoiled Dan. As soon as Lela had confirmed Dan would stay with her, she'd gone out to buy all the things Dan would need. Colouring books, crayons, texters, pencils. She'd bought new pacifiers, nappies, an Eeyore onesie, as well as socks, in case he got cold. She felt a bit awkward looking at the online stores for the age-regression items as there were always adds to 'grow your dick ten inches'. She knew it wasn't sexual at all for Dan but it still felt invasive.

After she'd bought all this, and it was a week until Dan was being released, she'd went to visit Phil. After making sure her son was okay as he could be for being in hospital, she'd told him Dan was getting out in a week's time and would be staying with her.

Phil had been super excited to hear the news and began listing things Dan would want to do and what he'd need. Kathryn, true to her mothering nature, hadn't forgotten anything.

With Dan happily colouring in a Disney Princesses book, Kathryn made her way to the kitchen. She was exhausted. At fifty-seven years old, she shouldn't be having to look after a toddler. She'd had her turn raising kids, two to be precise, and now she felt she was raising a third. She knew it was rude to complain, she'd agreed to have Dan stay with her and she loved him to pieces. It was just, well, he was exhausting.

She flicked the tv on in the background, not really paying attention to or caring whatever it was they talked about. She focussed on preparing a lovely dinner for three. Which reminded her, William would be home soon.

"Kathy!" a small voice called and she abandoned the stove in favour of finding Dan.

"Yes, Love?" she asked with a warm smile. She knelt down to Dan's height.

"For you!" he declared, holding out a picture of what she assumed was supposed to be her family.

"That's very nice, Deary. I'll put it on the fridge, okay?"

"T'ank you!"

She made her way back to the kitchen, putting it on the bench with a mental note to find a magnet later. The tv had now begun the six o'clock news and first up was Phil's trial. It was pretty much on the news every night; updates and theories running rampant around the city. She quickly found the remote and clicked off the tv so Dan would remain unaware of the situation.

As she cooked, she remembered back during the first trial. How their fanbase had begun a fundraiser for a bail he never received. They'd raised over €2,000 in the first 48 hours but none of it had gone to his bail. Instead, the organisers sent it off to YoungMinds, figuring that it'd still be helping someone.

"Kathy, I sleepy," Dan yawned out, standing in the door to the kitchen.

She nodded. "Why don't you go have a nap, Love? Dinner is still forty minutes away."

Dan rubbed his eyes before yawning again and stretching his arms out wide.

"Do you need any help?" she asked after he nodded in agreement.

"I can be a big boy!" he declared before running off down the small hallway and up the steps.

She smiled. While it might be work, looking after a young kid again was enjoyable. There was none of that sass that came with the teenage years, just pure and innocent enjoyment.

~~~~

Phil dreamt of life before the trial. And before Dan was kidnapped. Before their once-peaceful life got flipped on its head. Before Dan needed bi-weekly therapy and Phil needed handcuffs to be taken anywhere. Back in the good old days. They felt like so long ago now.

After Luke had come by to inform him of the news, he'd found that little bit of hope he had left locked away inside him and brought it out. He let himself think of a day where he could go to Tesco to get some cereal and return home to a grumpy Dan shouting at the tv screen as he played whatever video game he was obsessed with at that moment. He let himself dream of a day where he'd be able to kiss Dan on the head without having to think anything of it.

But for now, they still remained fantasies. While the case was reopened, that didn't mean Phil would be set free. He didn't even care about being free anymore. Sure, he'd like to be able to live his life, but he'd happily go to prison if it meant he could just hold Dan in his arms once more. To know he was safe and loved and cared for. Of course, he trusted his mum. But Dan had gotten away under his watch and he knew the ins and outs of Dan. His mum didn't.

He sighed, rolling over on the stiff mattress and trying to get some shut-eye. After his hospital stay and a report from Doctor Mander, the prison warden had concaved and agreed to move Phil into another cell. Last he heard Kide had been put into even higher security and therefore had to move prisons. That didn't mean Phil was safe though; his cronies were still there and somehow, even if Phil didn't understand how, Kide would manage to contact them.

For now, though, he could sleep easy, knowing he wasn't at risk of being beaten or raped in the confines of his cell.

"Lester!" a sharp voice demanded. Phil abruptly sat up, sleep clouding his mind.

"Huh?"

"Trial day. Get changed," the guard snapped.

Phil shook his head, clearing his mind. Trial day. Trial day. Oh my god, it was trial day! He leapt out of bed with energy he didn't have three seconds prior and quickly went to the bathroom and changed uniform. He'd stopped caring about privacy a few weeks into his prison stay. There was no point; all it did was make him uncomfortable when he needed to shit but couldn't. His shy bladder had gone away near instantaneously when it realised the options were peeing in front of people who didn't care, or peeing himself in front of people who would, in that situation, definitely care, and not in a good way.

"Trial of Philip Michael Lester, accused of kidnapping, raping and torturing Daniel James Howell, with the help of Seth Conray and Roger Kide," the judge announced to the packed hall. There were family and friends who had taken the front few rows. Behind them, were general public now invested since their own loved ones were involved, and a shit tonne of press. A good half of the people there held cameras, paper and pens, microphones or makeup brushes.

The judge summarised the last trial with the notes of the courtroom scribe. After that, the trial began.


	35. Chapter 35

Kathryn and Dan had settled into a schedule over the last few weeks. During the day, Dan would occupy himself with colouring or cartoons. And during the night, Dan wrapped up in blankets, a paci between his lips and Pooh-Bear between his arms. Kathryn would kiss him goodnight and leave him to sleep through 'till the morning.

Sometimes Dan still woke up from nightmares. They weren't likely to ever stop, or at least for a very long time.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, Dan, I'm here," Kathryn comforted, settling onto the bed beside Dan. The lamp was on, illuminating the room in an amber glow, enough for Dan and Kathryn to see each other without being blinding at the late hour.

"Kathy," Dan mumbled, eyes clouded with tears and sleep. He raised his fisted hands to his face and rubbed at both his eyes with his palm. He whimpered at the images his mind conjured behind his closed eyes.

"Hey, I'm here, you're okay," she said again. "I won't let anyone hurt you."

"Want Daddy," Dan mumbled, more tears sliding down his cheeks as Kathryn's expression soured.

"You can't. I'm sorry, Love," she tried. Dan grumbled, pushing his hands into the bed and climbing up onto his knees.

"Want Daddy," he said, determined, as if this would make his Daddy come back.

Kathryn simply shook her head sadly. "I want him too," she whispered into the quiet.

"Kathy okay?" Dan asked when he saw a tear slip down her cheek.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine," she answered quickly, wiping the tears. "Do you wanna sleep with me tonight, Love?"

"Yes pease," he said, climbing from the bed with Pooh in his arms. Kathryn led him to their room where an air mattress was already set up for nights like these.

"Get some sleep," she said, tucking the blankets tight around Dan. "You're safe here. We won't let anything happen to you."

Dan, who still had tears in his eyes, nodded and snuggled into his blankets. "Love you," he mumbled, eyes closed.

"I love you too," she smiled, pressing a kiss to Dan's forehead before standing and climbing into her own bed. Linking her hand with her husband's, she sighed and closed her eyes, hoping Dan would sleep through until the morning this time.

~~~~

Phil sighed, opening his tired eyes with a yawn. His long limbs stretched out across the too-small bed. He swung his legs over the side and rubs his eyes with yet another yawn. He went to the toilet and did his business before pulling open his jail door since they'd already been unlocked for the morning.

He followed other prisoners on their way to the canteen and collected his breakfast of green-yellow potato chips and overcooked bacon with a side of mildly-bruised fruit.

Once he was finished, he slid his tray through to the wash-up area and made his way to the yard. He waited at the small line for an available phone and punched in the numbers he'd memorised.

"Hello? Kathryn speaking," a familiar voice said, tone warm and comforting.

"Hey, Mum," Phil whispered, tears coming to his eyes. He wished he was able to give her a hug but he couldn't at trials for obvious reasons and all his visitations had been with his lawyer and rarely Luke. With the trial holding such high steaks, he couldn't afford to miss a week with Mrs Raines.

"Dear, you sound so sad, what's wrong?" she questioned, motherly instinct kicking in and informing her that her son was upset.

"Nothing, just, I'm happy to hear your voice again," he smiled into the phone, not that she could see.

"I'm happy to hear your voice too, especially when you aren't defending yourself."

"Let's not talk about the trial," Phil said. It was all he ever heard and he just wanted a mother, not another person with their own opinion of his situation.

"Okay, what do you want to talk about then?"

"How's Dan going?"

Kathryn chuckled, having guessed Dan would be in the topic somewhere.

"He's doing well. He had a nightmare last night but got back to sleep alright and slept through 'till morning."

"That's good," Phil sighed out.

Kathryn hummed. "Dan isn't in the hospital anymore," she stated. Phil waited as she thought. "Doesn't that mean you could speak to him without breaking any rules?"

Phil thought on that. Technically there was nothing stopping him. There were no hospital rules demanding they stay away and the prison didn't care who he spoke to. But still, it felt kind of cruel. It'd be torture for himself to have to say goodbye after hearing his lover's voice. Not to mention what it could do to Dan. So, while it hurt, he sighed and shook his head.

"I don't think it's a good idea." He felt tears in his eyes and looked up, blinking them back. He could not cry here, who knows what the other prisoners would do in reaction. Probably laugh at him, maybe even punch and beat him. He wouldn't put it past them.

"Are you sure? He'd love to hear you," she continued.

Phil broke and a tear slipped. "I can't. I want to so bad Mum, but it'll hurt too much to say goodbye. I can't- I can't do that to him or me."

"It's okay, that's fine," she comforted quickly. "You'll see him when you win the trial and you can come home," she continued.

"If I win," he corrected.

"Don't think like that. If you don't, we'll work with it. Dan can come to visit you and he can continue to stay with me."

"Yeah, I guess. I don't know, sorry Mum."

"It's okay, I understand."

"I gotta go now. Love you."

"Love you too," she said, kissing him through the phone. And with that, he pushed the phone back into its receiver and walked away.

~~~~

"Mum!" Dan called out loud from the lounge. Kathryn had excused herself to answer the phone, leaving Dan with his colouring book.

"Yes, Dear?" she asked, rushing back to the room. In her haste to make sure Dan was perfectly content, she hadn't realised he'd called her 'Mum' rather than ‘Kathy'.

"Why the fuck wasn't I told about this?" The cuss word startled her; she'd raised her kids to never swear and while Dan wasn't her kid, he was usually rather polite when he came to visit. The second thing that startled her was the obvious anger in his eyes. That, and the way he held himself, plus the swearing, informed Kathryn that Dan wasn't regressed anymore. No, in front of her stood a fully grown adult, fuming from head to toe.

In the seconds it'd taken her to realise all this, her eyes trailed to the tv where the news lady was informing watchers of Phil's trial.

"Dan, you have to understand-" she tried, only to be cut off.

"No offence, but you don't keep shit like this from me regardless of how fucking messed up you think I am! He's my boyfriend! If he's on trial for something he didn't do, I want to fucking know about it.

Dan tugged on his hair in frustration before abandoning his drawings on the floor and heading to the guest room.

"What are you doing?" Kathryn asked, following him.

"Going home," he seethed, looking through his belongings and realising they were all little things before just chucking them in the bag anyway.

"Oh no you're not," she declared in her typical 'I'm a mother and I know what's best' tone.

"You can't keep me here. I'm going home and defending my boyfriend in court!" he shouted, pushing past her when she didn't move from the doorway.

"How are you getting there?" she asked next, worried.

"A taxi or something - I don't know," he muttered, collecting his phone from the kitchen and his small carry bag of important belongings before pulling open the door and slamming it closed before Kathryn could argue anymore.

It became evident as he walked the cold London streets that he really didn't know how to get home. He just held his arm out, waiting for a taxi to come by and pick him up.

"Need a lift?" a voice said. Dan's head snapped to a black Sudan, the man who spoke standing next to it.

"Uh," Dan mumbled out, not sure who this man was. He was well dressed but Dan knew he couldn't trust anyone anymore. This man wouldn't try to do anything in the middle of the morning, would he? Though, to be fair, Sir had. Dan shuddered at the memories and blinked them away, focussing back on the man.

"No thanks," he mumbled.

"Come on, where ya headed?" the man pushed.

"No. Thank you," he said determinedly, trying to show this man that he wasn't backing down.

"Name's Chris. You're Dan. Now come on, taxi's don't come to this street, ya too far outta city central. Where do ya need to go? I can take ya to your house if you'd like?"

"How do you know my name?" Dan asked, stepping backwards and away from the strange man.

"Fine, walk home. Fucking storms coming mate, a big one." The now-annoyed man climbed back into his car and started it up, the engine rumbling with the sky. Just as the man started to drive off and, as if Dan's life was a movie, the clouds broke and buckets of water landed atop him, drenching him instantly. He shivered, pulling his hoodie over his head and cuddling his belonging to his chest to protect them from the rain. He ran into a small little shop on the corner of the street, not stopping until he was inside the cozy space.

"Can I help you?" a cheery young girl asked. Her hair was tied up into a messy bun, red curls falling around her face.

"No thank you, I'm just getting out of the rain," he said, looking around his surroundings and realising he entered a cooky little cafe.

"Yeah, just suddenly came on, didn't it? Would you like a drink? On the house, just to warm you up a little," she offered.

"Um, yeah, thanks. Could I get a hot chocolate if it's not too much trouble?"

"Not at all, take a seat," she insisted, gesturing to the entirely empty store.

Dan shuffled into one of the chairs by a table, not wanting to soak the couch with his dripping clothes.

Three minutes later she came out with a drink and a cookie. "I took you for a double-choc person," she laughed, placing the drink and small plate down in front of him.

"Thanks," he smiled, unzipping his backpack and grabbing his wallet.

"Oh, no, this is on the house," she insisted.

"But-" he tried to argue but she shook her head.

"If you don't mind me saying this, think of it as a thank you gift. When I was fourteen, I was at a really low point in my life and I discovered you and Phil. You both really helped me. You actually posted your video about depression on one of my worst days yet. I was really close to giving up but that video made me feel less alone. I just want to say thank you for helping me and so many others through hard times and I want to help you too, even if it's just something like a hot chocolate and a biscuit," she smiled at him gently and Dan nodded wordlessly.

"Thank you, I really appreciate it."

"Thank  _ you _ ," she said in return before heading out the back of the shop.

Dan finished his drink off, enjoying the warmth it brought to his body. He'd called and ordered a taxi too so he had a ride home any minute now.

He pulled out one of his colouring books which were in his pre-packed bag and ripped one out. On the back, he wrote a message to the lovely girl who had remained unnamed throughout their entire interaction.

He saw his taxi pull up so he quickly put the letter atop the cash register and made his way out and into the car. He gave the woman his address and they set off.


	36. Chapter 36

Dan unlocked the front door, sighing at the sight that their apartment had been left in. It was wonderful to be home and see the familiar pictures and trinket but it was rather messy.

Groaning, he dumped all his belongings onto the bed and picked up his phone. He typed out a quick message to Pj, asking if he was free to come over. He replied minutes later with an affirmative and a selfie of him walking along the street.

With the excuse of having company, he began packing up. Nothing was too bad thankfully so with two minutes to spare, Dan had the entire flat back in order.

"Hey," Dan greeted, stepping aside so Pj could come in.

"Hi, why aren't you staying with Kathryn anymore?" Pj asked, getting straight to the point.

"She hid Phil's trial from me cause I was acting like a fucking baby," Dan explained, face flaring again as he thought of Phil - scared, lonely Phil - going through that again.

"Shit, you found out?"

"What?! Everyone was keeping it from me?" he shouted, glaring at Pj as they stood in the lounge.

"We didn't want it to affect your progress," he tried to explain.

"That's not for you to decide!" Pj looked down, eyes watering.

"I'm sorry. Please- just, can we just not fight?" he asked hopefully.

Dan, despite feeling so many emotions at once, put Pj first. "Of course. Sorry, it's just a lot to take in."

"It's okay, it really is. Just- I haven't spoken to you, like, you you, in so long and I don't want to argue."

"That's fine," Dan said, reaching out to rest his hand on Pj's shoulder before deciding not to. "Would you like a tea or anything?" he offered, lighting the fireplace as he spoke since the apartment was too cold to be comfortable.

"Yes, please." Dan nodded and made his way to the kitchen, enjoying the silence for a change. After a quick fill, the kettle began to heat up and Dan pulled out his phone.

"Dan?" a voice pulled him from his thoughts and he looked up from his phone. Pj looked worried. "Sorry, it's just been ten minutes and tea doesn't take that long," he explained, stepping forward with his hands out as if Dan were a spooked animal that might bolt.

"Sorry," he mumbled, clicking his phone off and shoving it into his jumper's pocket.

"What were you looking at?" Pj asked suddenly. He moved through the kitchen, taking it upon himself to serve the tea.

"Nothing," Dan tried, only to be met with a raised eyebrow. "Just Phil's trial," he settled on.

"And were you reading facts or fiction?" Pj asked.

"Does Phil actually have a chance?" Dan asked instead of answering.

Pj looked sad for a split second before smiling. "If he's on trial, he's got a chance."

Dan saw straight through him. He didn't have any hope that Phil would win this time either. And maybe Kathryn didn't too, maybe that's why she kept it from him. She didn't want him thinking they had a chance at a normal life only for it to be ripped away again due to a lack of evidence for Phil's innocence.

"I can talk to them!" Dan suddenly shouted, jumping and slamming the mug onto the coffee table.

Pj looked shocked for a second, then confused, before a grin spread across his face. "You actually could!" he agreed. "They only didn't like little-you cause you just agreed to everything and they thought you might be remembering wrong. But now that you're mostly recovered and in an adult mindset, they can't just ignore what you say!"

~~~~

Sighing, Phil braced himself to head back to prison, disappointed as always. It was going to be another long day in court. Turns out having to sit still for hours while people argued your guilt wasn't too fun. Especially considering it never looked good for him. Don't get him wrong, he loved that he got another chance, but he wished he wasn't if he was just going to get his hopes up only to have them crushed yet again.

"Your honour, I have another witness I'd like to bring to the stand with your permission," Mrs Raines said, taking a seat once she finished speaking.

The judge gestured approval with a nod and so Mrs Raines nodded a polite thank you and stood back up. Fixing her suit jacket, she cleared her throat. "I'd like to summon Mr Daniel Howell to the stand."

Phil, whose head had been slowly dropping over the hours, shot upright in his seat, confused and excited at the prospect of seeing Dan again. Mrs Raines, with Lela's help, had told him there was no chance Dan could help his case as he was permanently regressed and would just agree with everything. So why she'd changed her mind, and without consulting Phil, raised more than a few questions.

Phil's eyes flickered to his boyfriend who he hadn't noticed was in the crowd. He was dressed in a simple but formal suit. As he stood, he did up the jacket buttons and shuffled out of his isle to make his way towards the witness stand.

After swearing to tell the full truth, Mrs Raines began to ask her questions.

"I have notes from the previous trial, dictating all the questions asked and your answers, word for word. I'd like to go over each of these and have you confirm your answers."

Dan nodded, determination on his face, as she began reasking questions and awaiting his answers. By the second question, his responses were already changing.

"And is it true that while you were like this, Mr Lester abandoned you out in public for some of his friends to assault you?"

"Not at all. Phil had taken me to the park so I could play and just before I went to the sandpit, he'd told me he had to go to the bathroom and that I should stay in the pit. I'd agreed but ignored his request when Sir came up to me. I in no way believe Phil abandoned me so his friends could attack me. And on that note, Sir and the other one are /not/ Phil's friends. He'd never befriend people like them."

And after that answer, all the questions changed, along with their answers. Rather than agreeing with everything asked as he'd done while little, he was now fully aware of what the questions were actually asking and he insisted on Phil's innocence with each and every answer.

"Mr Daul, you may now question the witness."

The lawyer nodded, standing from his seat on the other side of the room.

"I don't have any questions for my client, your honour. I would like to bring some evidence to light, however."

Dan scoffed loudly. "I never even wanted you," he growled.

"Firstly, Mr Howell, you signed an oath to tell the full truth. You also did this last time; so why have your answers changed so significantly?"

"I was little when you asked me before. As Mrs Raines said, I simply agreed with anything I was asked. Lela can confirm that too."

"I'd simply like to state that you were under oath both times. One of those times you must have been lying. I'm arguing that this time you are not telling the truth; a child's mind doesn't understand repercussions of answers and would, therefore, have no interest in lying. As an adult, you understand Mr Lester will be sentenced to prison and you don't wish for that, therefore you lie."

Dan slowly breathed out a shaky breath. "Listen, I never wanted you to begin with. It was the two fuckers who kidnapped me and who are in prison, not my innocent boyfriend. No matter what you say, he is innocent and I will argue that till the day I die if need be."

~~~~

Luke sighed, locking his front door and pocketing his keys. It'd been another long day at the station. Not only did he have his regular work to get done but he also was continuing to work of Mr Lester and Mr Howell's case. And it wasn't easy. He wasn't given any time during the day since it was extra work so if he wanted to use the databases at the station, he had to do so during the lunch break.

"Ready?" Julia asked, lifting her handbag up to her shoulder with her free hand.

"Yep," he agreed, beginning the walk down the hall with his friends.

They arrived at the bar reasonably quickly. It was a typical Friday night, drinks clinking and people dancing. The small group of three ordered drinks and took a seat in the last free booth.

"How's work been?" Paul asked, sipping his drink.

"Same as always," he chuckled. "Busy," he added as an afterthought.

"Any breakthroughs?" Julia piped in. As his best friends, they were both aware he was working the extra case for no pay; they were also aware of how damn complex the case was.

"Not yet."

He and his friends continued to chat and catch up. When it was dark out and the bar was too loud to maintain a conversation, Julia and Paul headed home. They'd offered Luke a ride but he'd declined. He wanted to stay out a little longer. Maybe have a drink or two more.

He hugged his friends goodbye before taking a seat on one of the bar stools and pulling out his phone. He tapped to open the police database and found his case file for Phil's trial.

"Mind if I sit here?" a voice asked. Out of instinct, Luke clicked his phone off and turned to look at the man who'd spoken.

"Na, go ahead."

"Thanks." The man was silent for a minute before waving over the bartender and ordering half-a-dozen shots. "Name's Chris," he introduced.

"Luke," he returned, nodding his head. "Trying to forget something?" he chuckled, watching as the man - Chris, he reminded himself - chugged three shots in a row.

"Just my work," he laughed in return.

"I can vouch for that."

"What do you do?"

"Uh, IT stuff," Luke replied. He didn't like telling people he was an officer, half the time it scared them off.

"Ya know you look kinda familiar?" Chris then said.

"I don't know why."

"Ya got a cute face," he said.

Luke blushed. "Uh, I'm not looking for a relationship," he tried to explain, before adding, "And I'm straight."

"I'm not either. I'm happy with my partner. Things are just tough at the moment, ya know."

"Wanna talk about it?" Luke asked politely, ordering another round of shots for the pair to share.

"Na, I'll work it out."

Luke wasn't really sure how it happened. The two had talked for an hour or so before shuffling out of the bar and back to Luke's apartment. They were both drunk from the amount of alcohol they'd had and neither were really caring about what was happening. All they knew was hands felt good and tounges mingling together was almost just as pleasurable.

They fell onto the bed, puffing as they calmed down.

"Ya better than me boyfriend," Chris laughed. "Roger's prob-problematic."

"Problematic?" Luke questioned, sitting up after his heart rate returned to normal. He reached for tissues as Chris sighed.

"Roger messed up and could be going to jail for a long time. We were getting ready to start a family, ya know, I think he's the one. So if I say and do the right things, I might be able to get him out or at least have his sentence shortened." Chris paused, snuggling up to Luke and closing his eyes. "I wanna have a family with him," he continued. "I know he did some bad things but he doesn't deserve to go ta' jail. It's fucking Lester's fault he did it anyway. He threatened him, ya know. Threatened to kill him and his family, me too. Ya don't mess with Lester, he'll kill ya."

Luke hummed, only half listening in his post-orgasm, sleepy haze.

"Shouldn't be telling ya this. It'll be our little secret, okay?" he whispered, cuddling even closer to him.

"Shit. Fuck. Oh, fucking shit." It was these words that awoke Luke from his sleeping state. His head hurt too much to think and he groaned, rolling back over.

"I got a fucking boyfriend mate! This is a serious problem!" the man complained, collecting his clothes.

"Don' tell ‘em then," he mumbled in response, letting his mind wind down so he could fall asleep again.

"Ya don't understand. Ya don't mess with Roger, he can fuck ya up. I gotta go. This stays in this room, got it?" the man panicked, already pulling open the bedroom door.

"Yup," Luke mumbled.

It wasn't until he woke up for a second time that morning that he realised what had happened. He'd had a one night stand with some guy in a relationship. And not only that, that guy's boyfriend was apparently terrifying as all hell if the panic in the guy's voice that morning was anything to go off.

He blinked the crust from his eyes, his head pounding as he tried to remind himself of the previous night. He sighed, pulling himself from the bed and clicking the power button on his phone. Seeing it flash red reminded him he never put it to charge the night before so he plugged it in and went to the bathroom. He splashed his face and got a drink from the tap before swallowing some painkillers. He brewed a coffee and buttered a single slice of toast before heading back to his room.

There was a message from Julia asking him if he'd made it home safe, to which he quickly replied. Other than that there was an email from a college, telling him something they found out about one of the perps they'd brought in the morning before.

The last notification was a warning saying his phone storage was full. He tapped it, opening setting and finding his storage was a solid 80% photos. He opened his photo app, confused as he only had about three-hundred images on his phone. He saw oranges and browns in one of the squares, the little numbers in the corner, telling him it was a video. He assumed it was one of those accidental photos. It wasn't until he read the numbers though, that he realised why this 'accidental photo' (or video, technically) had stolen what little was left of his phone storage. It read 4:27:02. A four-and-a-half-hour recording, seemingly by accident.

Most people would ignore it and simply delete it. But with a hangover and a lack of ability to remember the night before, he pressed play.

~~~~

"Trial of Philip Michael Lester, day seventeen," the judge said to the court full of people.

"Your honour!" a person in the crowd shouted, standing and marching forward only to be held back by some officers.

"Officer Luke Temple, your honour. I have some evidence which I believe will severely affect the outcome of this case."

"While this is rather unorthodox, I will allow it under the pretence that I am curious as to what this evidence is," she said, nodding and the officers let him go. He made his way to the stand where he plugged in his phone to the cord, sharing his screen with the projector in the room.

"Last night, I went out to a bar with my friends and stayed behind after they left. I got into a conversation with Mr Daul and in our drunken states, we participated in some sexual acts together." There was a choking sound from the front of the room. "The morning after, this morning, I found out I'd accidentally recorded the conversations we had. As the tape is hours long, I won't bore you with the full recording. However, I will bring to light this one clip from directly after the sexual exchange ended," Luke explained, blushing a little but pushing forward and ignoring it. This was far more important than his nightly activities.

The video was of nothing, simply a black screen.

_ "Roger messed up and could be going to jail for a long time. We were getting ready to start a family, ya know, I think he's the one. So if I say and do the right things, I might be able to get him out or at least have his sentence shortened. I wanna have a family with him. I know he did some bad things but he doesn't deserve to go ta' jail. It's fucking Lester's fault he did it anyway. He threatened him, ya know. Threatened to kill him and his family, me too. Ya don't mess with Lester, he'll kill ya. Shouldn't be telling ya this. It'll be our little secret, okay?" _

Once he paused the recording and the whispers in the room became known. "It's quite clear Mr Daul has a relationship with Kide and therefore is not fit to be a lawyer in this case," Luke explained.

"Well, this is some important new evidence. But Mr Daul also states that Lester was threatening Kide's safety and that is also rather important evidence."

"My apologies, your honour, but it's bullshit. It doesn't even make any sense. It's clear that Mr Daul is in a relationship with Kide and therefore is altering information so his lover will stay out of prison."

"Who the lawyer is is up to the prosecutor," she informed him.

"I know that but he clearly can't be trusted. Just question Kide! Seriously! I'm onto something! Phil is innocent! Surely Dan's words and all the evidence should confirm that!"

"Mr Temple I suggest you lower your voice before I have you escorted from the building," she snapped, eyes serious as she stared him down.

"My apologies, your honour," he said, lowering his volume. "My theory is that Kide is stringing Mr Daul along to get a less serious sentence. As you know, if Phil is proven guilty, Kide and Conray's sentences are reduced; however, if Phil walks free, their sentences will go even higher for lying to the police, obstructing justice, and for the threats. I really believe this is a lead that could prove Phil's innocence."

The judge seemed to think before she reached a conclusion. "We will look into this claim."


	37. Chapter 37

"I hope you're not offended but I don't completely trust you." Dan scoffed at the women sitting in front of him.

Her eyes soften at his angry blazing one's and it just made him even angrier.

"Mr Howell, I don't know exactly what went down with your last attorney but what I do know is that he did not have you or your boyfriend's best interest in mind. All I'm offering is to assist Mrs Raines here in helping Mr Lester's innocence be proven as well as getting the proper justice for you and the other victims."

Dan's blood was boiling. His blood had been boiling since he'd learned of all this nonsense with Phil but the moment it had really hit him was when he had seen Phil for the first time in months in court last week.

He would never have described Phil has active or fit but whatever muscle and fat he had on his body was gone, his skin just hung on his bones. His face was sunken in and he had had dark circles under his eyes. But the most jarring difference about Phil that Dan noticed was he now had a two-inch scar that ran down the side of his face. With the hassle of trying to get Daul off the case and get another lawyer assigned, Dan hadn't had the chance to visit Phil and ask him about it yet. And quite frankly, he was scared to find out what it was from.

"Mr Howell?"

Dan was shaken from his thoughts. He sighed, "Well I don't see any problem with you helping Phil's lawyer. You're highly recommended and I'm sure paying enough for you," he said, spitting out the last part.

She simply smiled at him, "So do we have a deal?"

"Mrs Fawn, you have yourself a deal."

~~~~

"Mrs Raines, Mrs Fawn, do you have anyone else that you would like to question?" the judge asked, looking down and shuffling through her stack of papers.

"We'd like to call Mr Kide back to the stand."

The whole courtroom went silent at the request.

"I object!" Shouted Kide's defence lawyer.

"Under what grounds?" The judge questions.

"My client has already testified more than enough times and has been very accommodating to this court. There is no reason to bring him in to go over what Lester made him do again."

The judge thought for a moment before she spoke, "I'll allow it, I want Kide kept in isolation tonight so is testimony is not tampered with and all of us will be back here bright and early tomorrow morning to continue this.

"Your honour!"

"Mr Evens! This is my courtroom and therefore we go by my rules, you got that?"

The man mumbled something under his breath but nodded his head in agreement.

"Ok then, court dismissed."

"Wait! Phil!" Dan said, trying to catch Phil's hand before he was lead off by the uniformed guards. He was so close he could reach out and hug him just one more step and he could hold his boyfriend.

"What the fuck do you think your doing, boy?" the guard asked, pushing him back.

"I-I was just trying to give him a hug," Dan said.

It was at that moment Phil's eyes found his own and Dan's heart shattered into a million pieces. All the pain Phil was feeling, he could suddenly feel it and it was becoming too much. It was consuming him, he had to tear his eyes away. A pitiful whine left his throat as he did, but it was the only thing he could do unless he wanted it to consume him.

"No touching or talking to the prisoner!" the guard barked at him.

Dan looked up just in time to see the guard leading Phil out of the courtroom roughly pulling at his arm in a way that he knew would bruise overnight.

~~~~

When Dan walked into the courtroom the next morning, the one thing he had not been expecting to see was his parents sitting on Phil's side of the courtroom. Angry tears fell from his eyes. What were they doing here? And that's exactly what he asked them when he marched right up to them.

"Dan, Honey-"

"No, I don't want to hear it! You've wanted nothing to do with me my entire recovery and you haven't cared this entire time! Why are you here now?" he yelled, tears still rolling down his face.

"Daniel, calm down," his mother tried again.

"Don't you dare try and tell me to calm down!" he shouted again.

He could feel himself slipping; this wasn't good. His parents may have meant good but all they were doing was causing him stress.

"Dan, Love, how about we go sit down over here?" a sweet soothing voice whispered in his ear. Dan looked up and saw Louise smiling at him. She wrapped her arms around him and guided him to the other side of the room and sat him down.

"You're trembling, Love," she fussed, wrapping her own jacket around his shoulders despite knowing the shaking wasn't from the cold.

"You're alright now," Kathryn said pulling him into a hug.

Normally he would have resisted but not right now, right now he just wanted to be held. He looked back at Louise and mouthed, 'Thank you,' to her and she just nodded her head in silent understanding.

Eventually, he calmed down and the near-slip passed as it was time for the trial to begin.

~~~~

"Mr Kide, the first thing I would like to ask is has your story changed from the last time you were questioned in this court?" Mrs Fawn questioned.

Kide gave a sly smile and answered, "No, I stick by everything I said before. Lester was the mastermind and he made us do everything, threatened our families if we didn't do what he said."

"Very well, Mr Kide. Since I've already given you the chance to change your story and you have declined, I guess It shouldn't even matter to you that Conray confessed the truth to everything late last night?"

Dan's heart stopped. He hadn't been informed of this information and surely he would have been, right?

The look on Kide's face was priceless; it was a mix of pure horror, confusion and anger all at once.

"He wouldn't! That little bastard would never betray me!"

"I object! I wasn't informed of this information!" Kide's lawyer screamed.

"Overruled. The questioning may continue."

"Well, I hate to tell you this Mr Kide, but it is indeed true. He flipped on you so fast it was comical. All the men at the station were having a good laugh at it," Mrs Fawn chuckled. "He was very adamant that you were the mastermind behind all this and how he didn't do anything wrong.

Kide growled in anger, "Is that so?"

Dan couldn't believe his ears as Kide literally spilled everything. Not just the stuff about Dan but the other victims as well. He explained how Conray had come to him and shown him Dan's videos. At first, he thought it had been a harmless infatuation but Conray would spend hours and hours pouring over this kid's videos and social media accounts, trying to pin down his exact location. All he would talk about was when he got him and what he would do with him.

"He had my cabin covered in photos, wall to wall with pictures; it was starting to get fucking creepy. I knew he wasn't going to stop and I knew I couldn't let him kidnap this Howell. He was popular, there would be a worldwide hunt for him. So I thought I would try and find someone who looks just like him, though that might satisfy Seth's needs. They never seemed to last long though. He'd use them and abuse them but he always tired of them quickly. His fixation was always back on Howell within a few weeks. "

"What did he do with them when he was done, Mr Kide?"

"Well, sometimes we would kill them, sometimes we'd just leave them there and shove the next person in there with them. Anyway, I tried several different people, women, men, young adults, minors. They all looked and acted much like Howell but none of them ever kept his attention. Finally, after doing some research, I followed Howell around for a few weeks a realized he was what people call a little and that must be what Roger found so appealing about him. So I thought if I could find someone in the same family then maybe, just maybe, it would be enough. So I acquired Nico Howell. "

The courtroom was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. "And hat happened after that, Mr Kide?"

"Well, Nico did last longer then the others did. He wasn't what his cousin was, a little or whatever, but he was innocent enough and he looked enough like Howell for Roger to be satisfied."

"But even in the end, that wasn't enough for him, was it, Mr Kide?"

"I suppose not because here we are."

"Mr Kide, I just have a few more questions. Why do this for a friend?"

Kide shrugged his shoulders. "Because he let me do whatever I wanted to them."

The courtroom booed and shouted and it had to be silenced by the judge.

"Okay, Mr Kide, just one more question. Was Mr Lester involved at all, what-so-ever, in the kidnappings?"

This was it the moment the whole trial had been leading up to. The tension in the room was thick you could cut it with a knife. And then he answered.

"No, Phil Lester had absolutely nothing to do with any of it. He just got in our way."

The courtroom burst with excitement and had to be brought back to order once again by the judge. After Kide's lawyer got to ask his questions (which Kide was not cooperative with), the judge spoke. "I think we have heard enough. If the jury will now make a decision, we can conclude this case."

~~~~

"Dan, this has to be good news, right?" Kathryn asked, pulling him in for a hug.

Dan was still in shock. "Dan?"

"Hm? Yeah, of course, it has to be," he said trying to sound as reassuring as he could.

It only took the jury an hour to come to a verdict and Dan, the Lester family and their group of friends were all shuffling back into the courtroom. They had to bypass the huge group of press that was packed in the back of the courtroom like sardines but they finally managed to make their way safely to their seats.

The moment they brought Phil out, the cameras began clicking behind him and that was something he was still getting used to, but he tuned it out and put all his focus on Phil. Phil looked absolutely defeated and if Dan had to guess, he was just going through the motions. It broke his heart.

The judge cleared her throat. "The jury has reached a verdict. Will the defendant please stand."

Phil stood as the Jury entered the room.

The judge continued, "For the charge of kidnapping, the jury finds the defendant, Philip Michael Lester, not guilty."

Dan's heart leapt from his chest. Did he really just hear that? He turned to Kathryn and she had tears in her eyes and nodded her head and that's when he knew he'd heard correctly.

"On the charge of rape, they find the defendant not guilty."

The courtroom burst into whispers, but all Dan heard was the beating of his own heart. He couldn't believe it this nightmare was finally over.

Dan couldn't move; his brain was going a million miles a minute and all he could think about was Phil. He could feel himself being pulled in for multiple hugs but he really wasn't paying attention. All he could focus on was Phil as he was pinballed around between friends and family.

Phil had sunken down into his chair and was sobbing into his hands, his whole body shaking with sobs. It was then that it hit him, Phil had been found innocent. He broke out of the grasp of whoever was embracing him and took off towards Phil.

Each step brought him closer and closer to Phil and when he was finally there, it wasn't anything like he imagined. They didn't embrace each other and kiss or hold each other and cry. Dan stood there and looked at him.

He cleared his throat hoping to get Phil's attention. "Phil?"

Phil looked up at him through his tear-stained eyes and whispered, "Dan?"

They stood there staring at each other for a few moments before Dan fell to his knees and before he knew it, he was a sobbing mess as well.

"Can I hug you?" Phil asked softly.

Dan nodded his head as he shoved his head into Phil's lap. It was awkward because he still had handcuffs around his wrists but they made it work.

~~~~

Phil's trail was the only thing they were talking about on TV. Some of it was bad but most of it was good. Also, apparently, when you're found innocent they don't release you right away you have to go back to prison and they have three days to release you. Dan was angry when he learned this. He didn't understand why they couldn't just let Phil go, he had been found innocent! The lawyers sat him down and explained that there was a lot of paperwork to fill out and the system always took a long time to get stuff like this done.

Dan looked down at his phone, Phil was supposed to be out five minutes ago. He stood outside the gates of the prison and he didn't know if he was more excited or nervous. What if they changed their minds and decided to keep him? Could they even do that? All these thoughts raced through his head when the gates opened. He looked up and saw the most beautiful sight. Phil.

Phil walked towards him in baggy sweatpants and a worn-out sweatshirt. His hair was long, almost to his shoulders, he was in desperate need of a haircut. As he got closer, Dan couldn't help but notice how much skinnier he looked. That was not something he had noticed a few days ago in court.

"Hi," Phil said, walking up to him.

"Hi," Dan breathed, tears slipping from his eyes.

Since the trail was over, everyone was getting back to their lives and since Kide had confessed to his and Conray's charges, they would be sentenced and would probably spend the rest of their lives in prison.

Luke would continue to make the city of London safe with his recent promotion to captain, thanks to his hard work on the Lester-Howell case.

And as for Dan and Phil, they were just happy to be together again.


End file.
